On the rocks with a terrific woman, thinking strongly of a break up

[sveltride]

I'm in serious situation, I'm living with a super woman who I care about but I have doubts about our long term longevity.

 

Some of the factors are: 1) I don't feel committed any more, I am about to finish my masters and want to start my career with out making compromises. 2) We often argue and someone's feelings get hurt. 3) We're not having enough sex. (my judgment) 4) I don't feel listened to. 5). She has several problems she won't or can't deal with ie. abandonment, poor stress management, dogmatic etc. When we argue or she is stressed she can get irritable bowel syndrome or she can drink a whole bottle of wine then get moody. 6). We have had several close calls and then I decided to try again, and now I've about had enough and am considering a making a firm break no matter what the consequences.

 

 

The consequences: 1) I'm broke. I mean I literally have no job. So I'm scared of leaving a comfortable relationship. 2) I think she is a great woman. She is very intelligent and focused and willing to support me during writing my thesis. 3) We have many things in common.

 

 

In retrospect I can see the merits of a break up, as it might do us both alot of good. On the other hand I have a tough time letting go and being firm.

 

Any advice will be appreciated, Thanks!

[jalexy]

um just break up?

[midori]

You have things in common, she's a terrific woman: you can say that about your friends, right? But it sounds like the things one looks for in a romantic relationship are lacking; it also sounds like she's got some personal issues that you don't want to have to deal with long-term. so it would make sense to end things.

 

better to break up now, when doing so will prove somewhat inconvenient for you (without a job, etc), than to wait until you're all set and THEN break up with her. The latter will make you look like you just stuck it out until you had no further use for her.

[Tony T]

When things get bad, they rarely change. It's like milk when it spoils...you can freeze it all you want but that won't revive it's freshness. I see you have no alternative here but to call it quits. I'm assuming the two of you have talked this out more than just a few times.