Bells Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I came across this profile...I'll edit it down to point out the main points. Profession: My 2 boys and< her job title> The Bio section "I am a single mom of 2 wonderful boys....<enter the rest of description" In the "What I like to do on a first date" describes she likes to have fun...lists hobbies...and....hey, she has "2 great boys" Do you think mentioning the fact she has "2 great boys" 3 times in the profile is a bit overdoing it? I think there had been debate about this before, but profiles like this probably scare men off...heck even men with kids....seems that you'll come dead last to her children and perhaps even spoil them?
Geishawhelk Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 "Hello boys!!" might be what they mean.....
Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Even men do that. Check this out: "I have a 13yr old boy and he's the love of my life. So you should know that while my son does not live with me he's my number one priority and the time I choose to spend with him is not negotiable". For Fun: Movies, reading, spending time with my son.
Art_Critic Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 but profiles like this probably scare men off...heck even men with kids....seems that you'll come dead last to her children and perhaps even spoil them? It won't scare off the men that have good intentions... She has written her profile in a manner to weed out the guys who just want a bang on Friday night and don't want to spend time with her kids. She has emphasized that because her kids will always come first and she wants the people who read her profile to know that she treats her kids right and if you can't handle that then don't even bother.. That is the way it is when dating and living with someone who has children.. The children ALWAYS come first.. and Should always come first.. duh !!
Tryng2Trust08 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I came across this profile...I'll edit it down to point out the main points. Profession: My 2 boys and< her job title> The Bio section "I am a single mom of 2 wonderful boys....<enter the rest of description" In the "What I like to do on a first date" describes she likes to have fun...lists hobbies...and....hey, she has "2 great boys" Do you think mentioning the fact she has "2 great boys" 3 times in the profile is a bit overdoing it? I think there had been debate about this before, but profiles like this probably scare men off...heck even men with kids....seems that you'll come dead last to her children and perhaps even spoil them? Yeah...I agree with you, and Im a mom of 2 boys, lol. When I made an online dating profile, I just mentioned my children once making sure the guys that were reading it knew I had kids. I think mentioning it one time is enough. I think it would scare a guy off, I keep my kids out of relationships as long as possible.
quankanne Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I imagine her sprinkling it in the post more than one time is meant for emphasis, so that she doesn't end up with hornballs, as art mentions
Art_Critic Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 As far as the OVER part of it.. She may very well have adjusted her profile because the horn dog men that are out there don't seem to read the fine print when trying to get into a woman's panties. They spend and ultimately waste her time when they all of a sudden realize that the children come first and stop talking to her.. and by OVER emphasizing her importance she is just Bolding those LETTERS..
Art_Critic Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I imagine her sprinkling it in the post more than one time is meant for emphasis, so that she doesn't end up with hornballs, as art mentions ..... Thanks Quank
samspade Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Yeah, at least she is being up front about it. A parent - if he or she is a good parent - will always put his kids first. While that may impede his/her dating life, it's best for suitors to know that going in. I strongly discourage dating single parents for this reason. It's tough for someone who doesn't have kids to understand that they will always come in second. And if a single mom or dad IS out whoring it up and putting his/her kids second - you wouldn't want to be with someone of such low character!
Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I strongly discourage dating single parents for this reason. It's tough for someone who doesn't have kids to understand that they will always come in second. And if a single mom or dad IS out whoring it up and putting his/her kids second - you wouldn't want to be with someone of such low character! Not all single parents behave in this fashion, though.
Tryng2Trust08 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Yeah, at least she is being up front about it. A parent - if he or she is a good parent - will always put his kids first. While that may impede his/her dating life, it's best for suitors to know that going in. I strongly discourage dating single parents for this reason. It's tough for someone who doesn't have kids to understand that they will always come in second. And if a single mom or dad IS out whoring it up and putting his/her kids second - you wouldn't want to be with someone of such low character! I don't think thats necessarily the case about coming in second. My children always come first, but in my past relationships I have always made time for the guy I was with, even if it meant sending a text message during bathtime or talking on the phone while getting dinner for the kids. I always tried to make the guy feel important and made as much time as possible for him.
Lovegod Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 When you date a single parent, the kids come along with the package. In other words, look forward to dates at the zoo, the park, school plays, etc etc.
Author Bells Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 Well, you have to take each case on a ....case by case basis..lol. Anyhow....and there's variables to consider. In one case, there was this single mother, she had an 8 year old (100% custody in the school year....and sent him off to the father during the summertime) Well, in order to gage this....she was dating a guy (without kids) for a few months, well she was busy with work and her one child, and her kids friends (she was a Den Mother in the Cubscouts) So alot of that took up her time, so he could probably see her on a weekend....but there were some weekends where'd she be unavailable to do anything with him, so he had to skip a weekend...due to her doing camping trips with her and other parents and such. Well, one time he decided to ask if he could come along on a camping trip.....she was not comfortable with that...even thought it was inappropriate to do that...esp around her son (might get the wrong idea....) Eventually he got fed up...and called it off. He was never able to spend the quality time he desired with her.
Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 When you date a single parent, the kids come along with the package. In other words, look forward to dates at the zoo, the park, school plays, etc etc. Another wrong assumption.
amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Well, one time he decided to ask if he could come along on a camping trip.....she was not comfortable with that...even thought it was inappropriate to do that...esp around her son (might get the wrong idea....) Eventually he got fed up...and called it off. He was never able to spend the quality time he desired with her. So are you saying he's the bad guy or she's the bad guy? Because he sounds like he was willing to hang out and play dad with her kid but all she did was use him for sex.
Star Gazer Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Another wrong assumption. How is that an incorrect assumption?
Lovegod Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Another wrong assumption. Okay, I'll go along with that. Bring your kids out for a drink at a bar, let them hang around while you make out with some dude, and maybe even pop them some popcorn for when they watch you have sex. I've dated single mothers, and believe it or not, I've been on both sides of that coin. You know how difficult it is to get erect with a one year old in the room? You know how uncomfortable it is to even get naked with someone else's kid in the room? Do you know how embarrassing and shameful it feels when the woman's daughter comes to find her mother, and finds both mom and you naked? For those who don't know, it's not marriage that kills sex, It's the KIDS that kill it.
flc Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Dating with children does represent some challenges. I always think that as a teenager I was always trying to get in the girls pants behind my/her parents back now I am doing the same thing behind my/her teenagers back
Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 How is that an incorrect assumption? That all single parents will tag along their kids along to their dates. A date in the zoo, the park, or school play? Unheard of. I'm a single parent who have only dated other single parents and have never came across such scenarios. I always make sure I have proper arrangements in place for my child, when I go out for a date, and so do my dates.
Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Okay, I'll go along with that. Bring your kids out for a drink at a bar, let them hang around while you make out with some dude, and maybe even pop them some popcorn for when they watch you have sex. I've dated single mothers, and believe it or not, I've been on both sides of that coin. You know how difficult it is to get erect with a one year old in the room? You know how uncomfortable it is to even get naked with someone else's kid in the room? Do you know how embarrassing and shameful it feels when the woman's daughter comes to find her mother, and finds both mom and you naked? For those who don't know, it's not marriage that kills sex, It's the KIDS that kill it. Too bad you have dated such unresponsible mothers, but not a good reason to assume all single mothers behave that way. FYI, have dated on and off for a year and my son has not met even 1 of the men I dated during this period. He will only meet the person who will likely be my lifelong partner. For those who don't know, it's not marriage that kills sex, It's the KIDS that kill it. I wonder what kills childless marriages that don't work??
prettybaby Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Men with kids are not even an option for me. I don't want anybody else's kids in my life, so no thank you!
Lovegod Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 FYI, have dated on and off for a year and my son has not met even 1 of the men I dated during this period. That's certainly a good thing, both for the man that you date and your child. I wonder what kills childless marriages that don't work?? Probably women Men with kids are not even an option for me. I don't want anybody else's kids in my life, so no thank you! ...and I don't blame you one bit
flc Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 FYI, have dated on and off for a year and my son has not met even 1 of the men I dated during this period. He will only meet the person who will likely be my lifelong partner. Interesting, I have found that women introduce me to their daughters quite quickly, say in the first month of dating but it has always been many months before I get introduced to the boys? In my current relationship, 3mos, as I mentioned in another post, both girls checked me out on our first meeting. I met them by date 3 and have a very good relationship even picking the one up from school when needed. But I have yet to meet her son (he is away in college but has been home a few times) and she has yet to even tell him she is dating me.
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Boys are protective of their moms IMO. When I started going out with my BF my daughter crushed on him and my son just wanted to physically crush him. He was eight.
Author Bells Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 He will only meet the person who will likely be my lifelong partner. Well, that would mean marriage then. But as soon as you come across someone that you think to be your "lifelong" partner....3 years...it's broken up..then what?
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