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What do you do on the night of the would have been 1 year Anniversary

curious jane

By curious jane
in Separation and Divorce

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curious jane Member

curious jane

Posted
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MY husband left me 4 weeks ago, this MOnday October the 27th would have been our one year wedding anniversary...

 

I know i will be a mess... anyone else been in this situation? any tips how to deal, what to do?

 

Do i take the day off from work, or do i keep busy?

 

Any advice would be amazing.

 

Thanks

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

Posted
Posted

get two or three really good friends together, and go out for a meal - celebrate the fact that you're free, and enjoy yourself and have a good time!

 

"Waiter! A bottle of your very best bolly, if you please!!"

 

The best way to prolong a pain is to pick at the scab.

bitterandseared New Member

bitterandseared

Posted
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I am also new to this forum. Yesterday was to be my 3rd wedding anniversary. I woke up quite sad. Hubby and i have been separated for 9 mths now. Its been a hard and long road. The short of it is he wouldnt give up his alcohol and partying ways and decided to get himself a little skank on the side instead. We had been together for 12 years and married almost 3. We have 3 absolutley beautiful children(they take after their mother LMAO ):love:

 

I still had the top half of our wedding cake we were saving for our 5th wedding anniversary. I took it outside and jumped on it a zillion times. He sent me a text saying happy anniversary i sent him a photo of the smashed up cake. To say it was a liberating experience is an understatment.

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

Posted
Posted

I still had the top half of our wedding cake we were saving for our 5th wedding anniversary. I took it outside and jumped on it a zillion times. He sent me a text saying happy anniversary i sent him a photo of the smashed up cake. To say it was a liberating experience is an understatment.

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao::lmao:

 

What wouldn't I have done to see the expression on his face when he got THAT greetings card!!

 

You need to sell that to "Hallmark"!!

 

Oh, great one!!

IdahoLabradors New Member

IdahoLabradors

Posted
Posted

My advice is to focus on the great things in your life, your friends, your children and the fact that you are not wasting another second with a spouse that didn't give you what you needed or deserved. I know that sounds harsh, but there is one thing in life we can't make up and that is time.

 

I was with a woman for 14 years, married for 6 of those years and knew getting married that I had strong reservations. I am recently divorced and it took 2 years of attempting to reconcile and then her dragging me through a bitter divorce trial.

 

My only regret has been that I didn't divorce her earlier. For me it's easy to move on in my life. I did spend about a year moping around feeling upset and agonizing about the divorce and separation. Finally a friend offered me the advice in the following way.

 

"Do you miss being married to her?" My response was no! "Then quit thinking about what was and what could have been. You can't make up time lost in this life. Go live life and celebrate the things you enjoy and weren't able to experience while married."

 

I have lived by the saying "you can't make up more time." and have gotten closer to my friends and family. Keeping busy will help you stay happy and not think about what could have been.

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curious jane Member

curious jane

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Thank you these words are very comforting.

 

I am still in shock i think.

 

My husband left me, and it is not what i wanted... sure things were bad, but i never gave up... he was also an inch away from getting his canadian citizenship which i spent thousands towards.. i thought once he could work here things would improve.. and he would start to pay me back.. ect..

 

He went away to this soul coaching thing in California.

When he came back he was off his rocker... they gave him this fake sense of power and he could do anything.. he was already unstable.

When he got home he proclaimed himself a new man, and was on a new path without me :(

 

He then expected to keep all his at my place, be there when i was not home, eat my food and keep his cell phone on which he never paid the bills for - he wanted to live this way until he could form his band and then tour... and then his story switched to moving to alabama to live with a soul coach who is a millonare... and then some woman from soul coaching kept calling for him!!! so not right!! he claimed he had a new spirtual family all over the world.... yet his mom called me 2 weeks later looking for her son and she had no clue he left me!! i had to break the news to her :(

 

I put my whole heart, soul and bank account into this... i am torn apart.

JamesM Established Member

JamesM

Posted
Posted

I am sorry for the pain you have to endure.

 

What brought him to the idea of going to this soul coach in the first place? Was he already uncertain of his life?

 

If he decides to come back, will you take him back?

 

As a guy, I cannot imagine what brought him to the point of leaving everything for this, but then it could simply be a faddish "solution" for what he perceives as a dissatisfying future.

 

(BTW, I noticed that almost every "soul coach" is a woman. I wonder why. One website I looked at also talked about communication with the dead).

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curious jane Member

curious jane

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yeah .. it gets better..

 

so he had an american friend about a 4 hour flight away from where i live in canada working here on a visa at a university. My man somehow convinced her to have him go out there and help her work on a grant for native communities.. and try and get him a work visa... he kept going back and forth in total he was prolly gone about 5 months.. he only ever came home with about 1k and he kept reassuring me by october he would be on getting $ from the grant and he would be getting 20k

 

So since his friend who is a woman and may i might add took care of him out there and they lived together out there... anyway she could not get him a work visa right away so she took the access she had to the grant money and bought him about 10k worth of computers and gear.. and told him that was some of his payment and he told me this was proof of more to come.

 

The Soul Coaching came in to play because it was suppose to be a part of the grant money .. to get him training so he would be better prepared to deal with the suffering in the native communities.

Not to sure how she was able to have a non canadian get money for the grant to travel.. i suspect lots of fudging of documents...

 

Turns out his friend who got him hooked into this supposed grant had a nervous break down and she used more of the grant money to get more of her own soul coaching.. and covered it up as something else so the grant would pay for it. - this he told me

 

The more i think about it i think his friend had her own weird agenda and was lost in her own life hence all the soul coaching programs... and he was so lost to he got sucked into it all.. and the pisser is sorry no offense to our american friends on here.. but they used canadian tax payer money for there own gain..

 

I know its confusing eh?

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curious jane Member

curious jane

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yep i seem to have a bad pattern with men..

 

he was the one who was looking on dating sites..

 

the coke head with the kid that was before my husband.. or i guess i should start to getting use to saying x-husband

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