jilted78 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Hello everyone, Need your advice on a tricky situation. A few months ago my gf and I moved overseas. (I work and she has an internship) so we live together and I support us financially. I'm a few years older (in late 20s she's in her early 20s). I didn't adjust to the new situation well and became depressed a bit. She loved it and made a whole new group of friends but I relied solely on her and kind of isolated myself a bit. As a result we started to drift apart (lack of intimact, not really hanging out, etc.) She travelled home one week while I was working and came back and said it's not working etc. but she still wants to be friends. She said that she needed to be selfish and just not worry about such a heavy commitment. Obviously I was upset and asked if there was something else. She said she met some guy when at home, but it was only flirtatious and nothing happened but she liked him (as an aside I do believe her but I think something will happen) SO the question I have is what to do? Obviously, I would like to see things work out, but it doesn't look possible. I'm pretty much a wreck. Part of me wants to kick her to the curb, but that would be hard because I don't think I could leave her standed in a foreign country without a home or a way to get home. Obviously NC is a bit hard. Just really comfused. I know that I should move on, meet new friends, keep busy, but with such a small community of English-speakers she's already friends with most. What do you guys think?
Geishawhelk Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Go home. She's telling you it's over. If she met another guy "but nothing happened" (and you believe that....) whether it did or not, she's still up to meeting other people. Mentally, she's moving on. If she feels happy where she is and is making friends, you wouldn't be stranding her... You need to think about, and look after yourself. What she does now, is up to her. but it looks as if she's already crossed that bridge.....
Author jilted78 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 Sorry didn't make myself too clear. I am contracted here for two years. Her internship is about 4 more months. I do support her financially. If I did give her the boot, she would be homeless and penniless. (I do think she resented that kind of power I had over her) So that is why the unique situation. I'm not a dick and gonna throw her out on the street, but it is hard seeing her everyday.
Geishawhelk Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Well in that case tell he that in 4 months she's gonna have to become self-supporting. You are obviously very convenient to her....But I think she's pressing her advantage because - for the very reasons you outline - she obviously doesn't want to pi$$ you off completely....! You can't keep hurting like this, and she can't expect to just carry on regardless without your saying anything.
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