fromlonelytogreat Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 However, I feel that I am not worthy sometimes. Why? look at my numerous posts about being a 'loner'. Sure, I could pretend to be 'independent', but who really wants to be with someone who doesn't have many friends?! I am not a bad looking person, and believe that if I was 'popular' then I would've already had a few girlfriends by now. I enjoy listening to love songs, and wish that one day they would actually have some meaning to me. I see and hear so many stories of guys not treating women right, and I know that I wouldn't dare do any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I know that being a pushover is equally as bad for a guy (ie. the 'nice guy'). Is being a hard-working, successful guy not attractive to women? I just feel so useless at times because I am so shy, and don't have many opportunities to meet women.
Suiyobi Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 There's nothing wrong with having a few friends. At least those friends are people that you can definitely count on. I'm a guy, but I would definitely say that a hard-working, successful and at least average-looking guy would be attractive to any woman out there. Perhaps it's something that you're doing that's turning them off? Or maybe it's something that you're NOT doing that makes them feel like you're not really interested in them? Unfortunately, we'll never really know except yourself. Evaluate what you are doing and what you're not doing, then change your strategy a bit the next time you meet a girl that you like and see what happens. Don't give up man, but at the same time don't let all of this bring you down. Sometimes it's better to be alone and "free" rather than be stuck in a bad relationship. However, I feel that I am not worthy sometimes. Why? look at my numerous posts about being a 'loner'. Sure, I could pretend to be 'independent', but who really wants to be with someone who doesn't have many friends?! I am not a bad looking person, and believe that if I was 'popular' then I would've already had a few girlfriends by now. I enjoy listening to love songs, and wish that one day they would actually have some meaning to me. I see and hear so many stories of guys not treating women right, and I know that I wouldn't dare do any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I know that being a pushover is equally as bad for a guy (ie. the 'nice guy'). Is being a hard-working, successful guy not attractive to women? I just feel so useless at times because I am so shy, and don't have many opportunities to meet women.
Lovegod Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I am not a bad looking person, and believe that if I was 'popular' then I would've already had a few girlfriends by now. With women, looks aren't as important as your personality. Also, are you actually making an effort to approach women? How many women have you approached, and how many phone numbers do you currently have? If you're not approaching any women and you currently have zero phone numbers, then you're not going to get a date. In order to get results, you need to take action. If you just wait for women to come to you, you'll be waiting forever. Why do you think the guys who are good with women are good with women? It's because they aren't intimidated by women. They can approach them, they can converse with them, and therefore they can date them. I enjoy listening to love songs, I don't. Love songs are generally a load of bullshhh. They paint a very lovely picture, but the reality isn't ever that good. I see and hear so many stories of guys not treating women right, and I know that I wouldn't dare do any of those things. The reason why you hear those stories is because women are generally attracted to aggressive and exciting men. Nice guys are boring. The most interesting and attractive guys are the ones who make women's emotions jump all over the scale. Is being a hard-working, successful guy not attractive to women? It is, but you have to let them know that you ARE successful, that you're proud of your accomplishments, and they should be so lucky to have a great guy like you. You communicate this to women through a process called "flirting".
JamesM Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Is being a hard-working, successful guy not attractive to women? I just feel so useless at times because I am so shy, and don't have many opportunities to meet women. First off, I agree with LG's post. Second, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Third, we all have opportunities to meet people, but because you are shy, you either don't seek out those opportunities of you don't see the opportunities when they are there. No, women are not impressed by successful men who do not know how to talk with them. It is not like you need to be able to talk to every woman in the room. You simply need to be a friend to the ones YOU want to meet. If you want to be the guy who "plays," then you cannot be shy. However, a shy guy can just as easily get a girlfriend by being a confident, quiet, listener. Women like to talk to men who show consideration and compassion. Be yourself and practice. The more you talk with women with no objective in mind, the more you become comfortable with talking with women with an objective in mind.
fral945 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Agree with the previous poster. Practice. Try talking to women and ask them questions about themselves. Most women love to talk about themselves, and that also shows interest on your part. You don't have to say anything about yourself, just let them do the talking, you do the inquiring. Try it on any woman. Eventually you'll get comfortable and be able to converse with the ones you want.
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