CommitmentPhobe Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Ah I've got it now, "well balanced male" = male who thinks half of the time with his brain and the rest of it with his d1ck.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 There just aren't that many good men out there anymore. It's kind of sad but true. I want a good guy but the amount of guys that are really good compared to the guys that think they are good, or are bad and don't care, is big.
fral945 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I consider myself pretty well balanced, and I'm 29, but being that I look young, it seems like all the guys who approach me are in their early to mid 20's MAX!!!! I even went out with one whom I later found to be only 20 years old!!!!! Ok, but that's a whole other story!!!! lol I think that's my problem, too. Every time I go out with a girl, they always comment to me how young I look. If only I could grow a beard, maybe that would help me, lol. What a curse it is to look young!
LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 There just aren't that many good men out there anymore. It's kind of sad but true. I want a good guy but the amount of guys that are really good compared to the guys that think they are good, or are bad and don't care, is big. I actually don't find it to be true! There are still plenty of good guys out there; it's about finding the one with whom you are compatible, where there's chemistry, and where they have the values you're looking for, all in one package! I've been fortunate enough to have dated some great guys, although the timing was off for me, grad school, not wanting a serious relationship at the time, etc., and I've also dated some straight up jerks!!! It's a numbers game anyway, so hang in there!!!!
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 There just aren't that many good men out there anymore. It's kind of sad but true. I want a good guy but the amount of guys that are really good compared to the guys that think they are good, or are bad and don't care, is big. Maybe there weren't any good men out there to begin with. For example gentleman opens door for woman, charming no? Actually it's just so we can check out your butts. You might find men more well balanced once they lose their libidos.
CaliGuy Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Personally, I don't think it's well balanced to be so...arrogant (for lack of a better word), or to maintain deep interest in a taken woman. But to each their own. If you say so, lol. She had the interest first, she just needs to take care of business at home. Besides, I can't help who I am attracted to -- or who is attracted to me anymore than I can control what kind of foods I like! But -- I still lub ya, SG
samspade Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 There just aren't that many good men out there anymore. It's kind of sad but true. Funny, women have been saying this for generations. Maybe good men are finally extinct. There are three billion men in the world. If you aren't finding a good one, you're doing something wrong. Yes, it's a weeding-out process, but as a man I date multiple women to ensure that a few of them are qualified to date me. It's a numbers game.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Funny, women have been saying this for generations. Maybe good men are finally extinct. There are three billion men in the world. If you aren't finding a good one, you're doing something wrong. Yes, it's a weeding-out process, but as a man I date multiple women to ensure that a few of them are qualified to date me. It's a numbers game. I agree with you! However, it's a bit harder living in SF where half of the men are gay lol, but still, it is a numbers game and it's definitely not worth having that us against them attitude about the genders! It's so counterproductive! Just keep dating! Agree with you!!!
IrishCarBomb Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Appears like well balanced men do not exist anymore, unless you want to date their fathers. They're either: - clingy/needy or emotionally guarded - bad boy/cocky types or doormats - totally clueless or think they know too much Are all the (young) men out there defective... or are you just frustrated and developing a negative attitude about men?
muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 You forgot the most prominent feature: Drama Queen And not be left out, Self AbsorbedNarcissistic The women I keep encountering usually have one or all of the above characteristics. come on...let's stay focused on "men" who are not well-balanced. of course there is plenty of imbalance amongst us all. however, this thing with men has become almost an epidemic especially in the areas of arrogance, immaturity, commitment phobia, and exponential down right insanity...what!
muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 If you say so, lol. She had the interest first, she just needs to take care of business at home. Besides, I can't help who I am attracted to -- or who is attracted to me anymore than I can control what kind of foods I like! But -- I still lub ya, SG wow caliguy...i'm disappointed in you. i thought you were more grounded than this... so does this ideal apply to you in the reverse? if so, that's messed up. ...if she's taken, does that include her being married or just dating someone? and in the reverse...if you're married? YOU said, you can't help it...
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 There are three billion men in the world. If you aren't finding a good one, you're doing something wrong. Yes, it's a weeding-out process, but as a man I date multiple women to ensure that a few of them are qualified to date me. It's a numbers game. You just proved my point, and I thank you for that. No more honest men who can genuinely love ONE woman, and stay faithful to them. It's all about playing games. My father's image came into my mind when I was thinking of well balanced responsible men. Men who care about their partners more than they care about themselves; men who know what their responsibilities are in a relationship; men who will do anything in their power to make their SO are happy. Now those are men from my father's generation. Does any of the males who just claimed to be well balanced match any of these criterias? Don't think so. We'll just have to deal with the generation of unbalanced, needy, immature, cheating, mind-game playing individuals calling themselves men but still expect a woman to foot the bills.
IrishCarBomb Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 You just proved my point, and I thank you for that. No more honest men who can genuinely love ONE woman, and stay faithful to them. It's all about playing games. That really wasn't his point, you just shifted it to confirm your own notion. There are plenty of good men and women out there. If you convince yourself that neither exists, you'll never even notice them.
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 That really wasn't his point What was his point then, from your "male's perspective"?
IrishCarBomb Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 What was his point then, from your "male's perspective"? I'll muster all the logic I have, and maybe can overcome my "male perspective" to a reasoned point. He said that there were 3,000,000,000 men in the world, and that not every one falls into your 6 pitfall categories. The idea being that there are decent men out there. Not all are imbalanced. By dating more than one girl (no deception, no cheating, just dating), he keeps looking for the good girls out there. He understands that there are a lot of people that aren't right for him, but that if he keeps looking, he'll find the right one. Certainly the way he phrased it was not altruistic, but that was the point. Finally, I don't mean to be a jerk, but when you call it my "male's perspective", don't you just confirm my (admittedly limited) assessment that you have a negative view towards men? Why do that?
BubblyPopcorn Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Dating is becoming boring, boring, boring with each passing day .. Appears like well balanced men do not exist anymore, unless you want to date their fathers. They're either: - clingy/needy or emotionally guarded - bad boy/cocky types or doormats - totally clueless or think they know too much This is all there's left ladies, so take you pick! I think the above list can apply on both sides of the spectrum (i.e. men and women), no? But, I think a lot of it has to do with how differently the two genders think, understand and relate to one another. We just operate differently most of the time. We want the man in our lives to be the opposite of the guy Beyonce refers to in that new boy song of hers and guys want woman to be something entirely different.
Yamaha Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 If you say so, lol. She had the interest first, she just needs to take care of business at home. Besides, I can't help who I am attracted to -- or who is attracted to me anymore than I can control what kind of foods I like! You maybe can't control who your attracted to but you sure as heck can control how you act on your attraction. I agree with SG in that you have changed and not for the better ( as you seem to think ).
Fraggle Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 My father's image came into my mind when I was thinking of well balanced responsible men. Men who care about their partners more than they care about themselves; men who know what their responsibilities are in a relationship; men who will do anything in their power to make their SO are happy. Now those are men from my father's generation. Does any of the males who just claimed to be well balanced match any of these criterias? Don't think so. Methinks you should remove the rose-coloured glasses.
CaliGuy Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 wow caliguy...i'm disappointed in you. i thought you were more grounded than this... so does this ideal apply to you in the reverse? if so, that's messed up. ...if she's taken, does that include her being married or just dating someone? and in the reverse...if you're married? YOU said, you can't help it... She's not married. She said she wasn't going to marry him. She took the ring off and hasn't worn it since. (to my knowledge) I haven't interfered in any way and only said hi to her on Monday. She wasn't at work today so I didn't see her. I haven't attempted to contact her in any way. I'm backing off, like I said I would and seeing where the dust settles. If she chooses him, I'm ok with that.
CaliGuy Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 You maybe can't control who your attracted to but you sure as heck can control how you act on your attraction. I agree with SG in that you have changed and not for the better ( as you seem to think ). This may come as a surprise, but I don't live my life for other's approval. Not anymore. It also might come as a surprise that I haven't initiated this. She's the one who contacted me, asked me out, told me she wasn't going to marry him. What am I doing now that I shouldn't be doing? I'm not pursuing her or interfering in their relationship. What happened is done and over with and can't be changed. Do I regret it? Yep. It shouldn't have happened but it did and I can't change that.
samspade Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 We'll just have to deal with the generation of unbalanced, needy, immature, cheating, mind-game playing individuals calling themselves men but still expect a woman to foot the bills.Who said anything about cheating? I'm talking about the early stages of dating. Women do the same thing, and it's perfectly legitimate if you're not exclusive with someone. You're shaming men for making sure that they pick the best possible woman and not settling for the first one that comes along. I'm not exclusive with a woman after the first date, for Pete's sake. As far as footing the bills, I don't know what kind of men you're dating, but if you're paying for everything, then you're allowing men to take advantage of you. Usually it's men who have to worry about gold-diggers and weed them out, but I'm sorry that you are running into guys like that. The bottom line is if you're so angry at this generation of men, it's either something that YOU need to fix about yourself, or you're allowing low-quality men to get close to you and not standing up for yourself. My suggestion is you start by not looking for someone to make you "SO happy," but just BE happy with who you are regardless of whether you have a S.O. or not. Angry, frustrated people are inherently unattractive. I meet low-quality women all the time, and luckily I have the self-respect to avoid letting them into my world and walking all over me. But I guess some people are gluttons for punishment.
flc Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 My father's image came into my mind when I was thinking of well balanced responsible men. Men who care about their partners more than they care about themselves; men who know what their responsibilities are in a relationship; men who will do anything in their power to make their SO are happy. Now those are men from my father's generation. Does any of the males who just claimed to be well balanced match any of these criterias? Don't think so. Well, I am probably from your father's generation and I would say I am pretty balanced but I would not agree that I meet the criteria you state above. This is a fairy tail and your looking for 'Lived Happily Ever After' this is not real life. Balanced to me means understanding that both people have needs and interests and and making the effort to both share and give space. It also means having a code of ethics you live by; you don't cheat, your honest, you help others etc. I do see ethics eroding in society as people believe the end justifies the means when really it is the path to the end that counts. The only place I believe you should completely focus 100% of your attention on your SO and vis versa is in the bedroom.
Woggle Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Women talk all the time how they want a good man but what do they bring to the table to deserve such a man? What do they offer a quality to make him want to take a chance on her because 9 times out of 10 it is just not worth it to be loving and faithful to one woman. Why do the women of today constantly demand treatment that in my eyes most of them do nothing to deserve? You have to offer something to a well balanced man in order for him to to take interest in you.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Now those are men from my father's generation. Ah a generation where women cooked cleaned and looked after the children... Now where are those women these days?
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 This thread is about men, so let's just stay on track with that. In my book (and probably most women's), a well balance man will need to have: Physical Attractiveness Good Income Matured behavior/responsible/emotionally stable Unconditional love Intelligence Sexual capability Now, as ridiculous as this list may sound to most men here (which just proves my point ), it is really meant to find a man who will be a good father and husband. But still, there are very few men out there right now who can meet these very simple requirements. And still in those very few, we have some who are too old to date, married, or in long term relationships. I didn't think this simple fact would be so hard to digest.
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