bukaresque Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Dear readers, I have found that there is fine line between women who dress sexy to feel confident about themselves or women who are just slutty. This fine line is the way women ACT. There is a way to look at people And there is a way to smile at them There is a way to walk And there is a way to talk to them. Women often take their attention seeking at the next place after home, which is work. How many people do I know are having an affair with someone at work? Acting slutty is a sure way for horny men to pick you up on their radar. Men are the hunters, and women become preys. Being preys gives them a lot of the attention that they need. What if this attention becomes the main source of attention.? Some women need a lot of attention and unfortunately, what they get home isn’t enough. As for the way men should act around it??? I think the main thing to recognize is if the woman ACTS slutty. Then I think that there is something to worry about. I think the first thing to do is a serious conversation, explaining to her why it hurts, and the rest is up to her. The only man’s job is to satisfy her attention, and satisfy her sexually the best possible, at the best of his capacities. It’s not the husband’s job to give her psychotherapy, but it is for her to seek it if she can’t overcome it herself and resolve some deep issues. What do you think? What should I say to my new girlfriend, is it ok for her to make me believe that she just wants to feel good about herself while I deeply feel and see her seductivness towards men?
wildsoul Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 What do you think? What should I say to my new girlfriend, is it ok for her to make me believe that she just wants to feel good about herself while I deeply feel and see her seductivness towards men? It sounds like you have a lot of rules about how things are supposed to be. Knowing your own boundaries about what you can and cannot handle is very important. But also realize that you are in a relationship with another person, who has her own rules and boundaries about what is okay. The task ahead of you is to mutually define what acceptable codes of conduct are when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. In other words, there is no script for what's right and wrong. Our opinion matters little. It's what works for you, and for her. Even if everyone here agrees with you, it means nothing if she doesn't. You've got to create an agreement with her, not deliver a rule book. Let's discuss what "slutty" means to you. What actions do you consider okay, and what actions does she do that you think are going too far?
Lookingforward Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 She's not your spouse, or even your SO.... she's your "new girlfriend"...so let's discuss why you think you have to right to dictate any of her dress or behaviours at this point, shall we?
Geishawhelk Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 And how were you attracted to her, in that case?
NoIDidn't Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Only addressing the top of the OP, a woman can ACT slutty and be fully and completely covered. And a woman can dress slutty but completely not act like a slut (like having a poor choice of wardrobe or a malfunction). Okay, back to whatever it is this thread is really about beyond clothing.
frannie Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 What should I say to my new girlfriend, is it ok for her to make me believe that she just wants to feel good about herself while I deeply feel and see her seductivness towards men? I think that if you think this about your new girlfriend she's probably not the woman for you. In fact, I don't know who would be, other than someone who likes to have their life, dress, behaviour and opinions dictated to her by her would-be partner.
Author bukaresque Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 In other words, there is no script for what's right and wrong. Our opinion matters little. It's what works for you, and for her. Even if everyone here agrees with you, it means nothing if she doesn't. You've got to create an agreement with her, not deliver a rule book. ... You're right. We have to establish what makes us insecure, instead of assuming that the other knows it allready. Thanks a lot for your advice.
2sure Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Interesting thoughts, none the less. When I was younger, I liked to dress sexy. But as I got older I realized there was a fine line between sexy and vulgar. I think I have it down now. My husband tells me that I never look trampy but always look sexy. He says its my attitude, not the clothes.
Owl Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Often the difference between the two is simply whether or not you're in a relationship with her. A guy can see a woman at a bar and go "Man...that is SEXY!" Date her, marry her, and see her a year later out in the same outfit and think "Wow, I don't think she realizes how slutty that makes her look.". Its when he starts having a vested interest in a long term monogamous relationship with her that his viewpoint changes.
2sure Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Its when he starts having a vested interest in a long term monogamous relationship with her that his viewpoint changes. And here I honestly believed my pant suits were hot.
jwi71 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Interesting. Their seems to be a fine line between how a woman dresses and how she acts (and possibly ones relation to said woman). Is it her actions that make her slutty? Or her outfit? Fortunately, this is easy to test. And I would ask all the ladies here at LS to help. 1) All of our LS ladies post pictures of themselves in "sexy" lingerie and in "slutty" lingerie. Lingerie optional. 2)They are to act the same while posting said pictures. Any deviation in thought or deed or pose will ruin the sample and cause abnormal variations in the calculated F statistic. This is in fact a scientific survey. That previous sentence proves it. And I have an MS..."S" as in science. Scientific therefore trustworthy. I can throw in some latin if it helps: E Pluribus Unum. Now if that isn't scientific, I don't know what is. 3)I will then judge them as "sexy" or "slutty". As I do not know how they were acting or what they were thinking, it will adequately test if behavior contributes to the "sexy" vs "slutty" perception. 4) I will publish the results (published scientific survey!). On a website. For a small fee. So...who's first? And the OP needs to realize that his gf is a separate person with distinct and individual needs. If you do not approve of her attire...dump her. You have no right to control how she dresses. That's her choice. You don't like it...get a woman who shares your sense of "taste/style/fashion".
marriedandsad Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 There is a very fine line I think. And assumptions play a large part. I've seen women who dressed pretty modestly actively pursue the boyfriends of other women just for the chase and been pretty....well....detailed on their exploits. To me that is slutty. Then there are the women who wear pretty racey clothes, but are honestly the sweetest women I have ever met!!!! They are sexy in my opinion. When I was very thin and had a killer body, I would go out every Wed to a bar for 18+ night. Normally I dressed pretty modestly because I was still very self conscious about my body. Wed nights were the nights I would throw that into the closet and pull out my low riders and semi see through shirts (they were sheer) or just all out form fitting clothes. Some nights I still dressed modestly, like jeans and a fit shirt. My friend would wear spandex shirts with no bra and low low low riding jeans. Yes she got hit on more, but she would ONLY get with the guys who were NOT nice and were after one thing. She'd let the "nice" guys buy her a drink then ignore them the rest of the night. They'd ask me why she did that, I'd shrug. Then they'd ask me out because I was "nice". I always said no....if it took getting blown off to see how nice I was, that was their loss. Instead they chased the sexy/slutty friend and when they got used, they went to the nice friend and realized what had happened. *sigh*. It's all in the attitude. OH and btw, she used to whine how she could never find a nice guy and doesn't understand how I am the one to get married first and have children first....she always had a boyfriend, I would go months being single. Then I met my dh and the rest is history
marriedandsad Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Interesting. Fortunately, this is easy to test. And I would ask all the ladies here at LS to help. 1) All of our LS ladies post pictures of themselves in "sexy" lingerie and in "slutty" lingerie. Lingerie optional. ROFL I'll do it!!!! Hell no I am not doing *lingerie* though...still have my post baby body LOL!
Recommended Posts