Dmoney28 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Just would like to get your guys take on this. Why would the dumper, knowing that that thier ex is.. 1. still in love with them 2. is trying to heal by going NC 3. givnen up hope after the dumper already stated to no Reconciliation or not even friends is possible Are they playing games?....being malicous?...getting back at them for whatever reason?, or are they oblivios to what thier doing?
sacg Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Curious, regretfull, concerned, bloody cruel..... Who knows, you dont state much else about your situation, hard to guage.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 a) They feel guilty and want to make themselves feel better by hearing you're ok. b) They regret their decision and want to reverse the break-up. c) They are extracting revenge on you for doing what you did to make them break up with you in the first place. The content of the NC-break could shed some light (examples of each) a) How are you doing? Are you OK? (Guilt) b) I miss you. Can we talk sometime? (Regret) c) I'm texting you as I'm being ridden by that person you can't stand. (Revenge)
Bob54 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 It's also entirely possible that they are totally oblivious to the devastating effect their actions might have on you. They're probably just being nice and dropping a line to say, "hi, how the heck are ya?" - but even that small gesture of kindness is enough to send a healing ex back to square one of the recovery process. Sucks, doesn't it? Forgive them, for they (probably) know not what they do...
lofi_tokyo Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 I think when you first break up with someone, its hard on both ends to really just BAM lose that person from your life. A dumper wants out of a relationship for whatever reason, but it can still sting them too. So the dumpee goes NC because they're hurting, and the dumper suddenly has no idea whats going on in the dumpee's life. Maybe they've healed, who knows? So they contact you obliviously (as mentioned) to the fact that you're not okay. Maybe they have imagined you being happy without them, and that stings a bit, they want to see what you're doing... again, because they have no clue. It could be any of the reasons suggested, really. I think the biggest one though is that, when you're not talking to a person you used to talk to so often, when you suddenly have NO IDEA what they're doing with their life because they've gone NC on you. You get curious. They could be doing a billion different things, and by breaking NC, even if they barely get much out of you, they are momentarily back in your world, and are getting a glimpse, a tiny tiny peek, at where you are at in your life.
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