lofi_tokyo Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Yesterday I was hanging out with some of my good friends, and it eventually led to me hanging out with my ex ex (the one before this current breakup), because him and I have a ton of mutual friends, and honestly, I have nothing against hanging out with him. Lets call him Mike since calling him my ex ex sounds weird. Anyways, throughout the time I was dating my current ex, I always felt as tough if my ex and I broke up Mike and I could definately get back together. Not that I was still pining over him, we broke up over three years ago. 4 months after our breakup he was pretty much out of my head entirely, unless I ended up hanging out with him randomly, which happens (like last night). I just was not attracted him to last night. At all. He threw his usual flirtatious remarks and gestures in my direction, as he always has, but they did nothing for me, at best they kind of repulsed me. His friends who were with us (one which is a friend of mine, and the other an acquaintance), came off as sooo much more attractive than him. I think thats when I realized... my current ex and I are never getting back together. I mean, I acknowledged the fact a long time ago, but I never really thought to myself "no, I am definately not dating him again". When I sat across the table from Mike, its like I saw all the things I did not like about him just shining through, and his cute/funny friends really reminded me that there are a lot more interesting guys than him. If I sat across a table from my current ex in a year, what would I think? To be honest, I'd probably still find some tid bits of him attractive, much like I do with Mike, but overall I think I'll just see through his act. Beneath my ex's calm cool exterior is a very boring, sulky, and unmotivated person. Maybe that will change in a year, but... I somewhat doubt it. So. I hope this feeling lasts. I hope Mike and our friends did a good enough job to really hammer the point home - my ex and I are just not getting back together. Not because he isn't coming back - I don't know if he will or not, but because I just wont be able to pretend away all the things that make him unattractive. Its not about me waiting anymore for another chance, its plain and simple: I don't want him.
JooLee Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 thats good you realise that, im assuming the ex that you mentioned in the last paragraph is your current ex (im confused haha) but even so, you'll make it through, and when you are ready you will find another person attractive. it takes time, one day we will look back on the ex with indifference. i have to say i really cant wait for that day!!!
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 22, 2008 Author Posted October 22, 2008 Yeah I meant my current ex in that last one! Although I probably wont see him ever again, because we have no mutual friends really, and live miles apart, I can still imagine the scenario, and not wanting him. As for falling for someone again, I am sure with due time that will happen. But! I'm in no rush! The other nice thing about hanging out with that group of guys is they all play on a co-ed sports team together, and that team is REALLY close I think because everyone is single, and just enjoying being single! It reminded me to appreciate these good college years and just live, and not to spend all of it seeking out love.
JooLee Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 exactly! thats how it should be! i do believe that love comes to you when you're not looking. it just bites you in the ass i have to say, i like being single right now. the first thing that went away when the relationship ended was i stopped having those damn headaches from worrying so much about the ex. and its nice to have a clear mind haha. just that sometimes the heart likes to smack you in the face.. but you know what. its time the heart's gotta know wats right and wrong.. and the ex is so wrong! just because he moved on first, doesnt make us the loser. it just makes us more human and shows we appreciate more of what we had in life.and yes, life is not all about falling in love! there's a zillion other things to smile about! weeee!!
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