puckstopper Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 So I've been reading through some of these posts, and I've seen some good advice being given out so I thought I would put my dilemma out there. So there's a girl from work that I've kind of been hanging out with for the past couple months. She's a really cool girl and we share a lot of the same interests. But I can't really tell if she's really into me. I went down to the beach with her family for a few days this summer. we went camping together about a month ago, and we've hung out a bunch of times. After the camping trip we went to the movies, ended up movie hopping, so during the movies I have my arm around her and we're holding hands, but I can't muster up the balls to try and kiss her. Anyways I dropped her home, and I went in for a kiss. I think I caught her by surprise, it wasn't short, but it wasn't long. Afterwards she gave me another hug and I was on my way. So it's been a few weeks since then and we've hung out a couple times. but all I've gotten is more hugs. One time she got out of the car and then came back in to give me a hug. So I don't know if me kissing her freaked her out, but if it did would she still hang out with me? She's the kind of girl who has a lot of guy friends, which I don't have a problem with. The only thing is I can't tell if she's romantically interested in me, or if I'm just another guy she hangs out with. If there's any other info that might help out let me know, Thanks for reading
Lucky_One Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 How did the kiss feel? Sort of electric? Or just like you had some lips stuck together? If someone has kissed me and I really wanted it or really liked the guy, then I could feel that first kiss for days. And I think that we would have kissed again on the next opportunity. She could be really shy or something - or she just might not be that into you romantically. But you would think that she would back away from being alone with you, if she didn't like you and knew that you liked her. Not a lot of help, am I? LOL! I don't know what your "hanging out" entails (although obviously you drive her somewhere), but are you calling her up and asking her out for an actual date? If you are, then you need to walk her to the door, which is a much easier place to go in for a kiss than having to turn all sideways in a car seat. (I hope you are picking her up at the door, too, rather than sitting in your car waiting for her to come out?)
Confusedalways Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Wow! I am in the exact same situation right now, except I'm the girl and he's the one being confusing. HE is the one now parting with hugs and such, and I've started to think it's a product of both of us being shy. Maybe the same holds true for you guys? I know I am not a shy person, except when it comes to the guy I like... and I know he isn't either, but he didn't pull away from the kiss we had either. I know it's a little juvenile but is there any way to subtly ask her friends what she thinks of you? Friends are always good to get at least a feel or handle on the situation, especially if the alcohol is every flowing. As a girl I can tell you this: if a good guy friend kissed me and I thought it was awkward, i'd probably wait a little while to hang out with him again. I also surely would not be hugging him, so to ME and my shyness, it sounds like you're on the right path. Or at the very least, I wouldn't count yourself down and out just yet.
carhill Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 The only thing is I can't tell if she's romantically interested in me, or if I'm just another guy she hangs out with. You'll die wondering that OP, do what you do. Feel how you feel. That's all you can control. If she's on the same page, she'll be right there with you. Don't overthink things....
jadedone Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Puckstopper, I"m guessing you are a goalie. Women know goalies don't score. Best of luck
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 She's the kind of girl who has a lot of guy friends Quelle surprise. With women like this - you're either the guy she's into, or you're the guy friend wondering if you're more than a friend. You do yourself a disservice by getting the wrong side of the coin.
Okeydokey Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 i'm in the same situation... except i'm the girl too. just like the other woman who posted. sounds like she's into you. if i hung out with a guy friend who tried to kiss me and i didnt want it - i would make it clear that is not what i want and if he kept acting like he didnt get that, then i would not hang out for a while. she's not doing either of those things. sounds like you have a thing for each other. puck, for the two women in this thread who are on the flip side of the coin and we're waiting for our shy guy to kiss us, PLEASE go kiss your girl. it'll make us feel like we aren't going to have to wait 'til June '09 for the ball to get rolling in our situations. and report back please.
Green Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 you need to just keep kissing her and making moves. alot of girls are really bad at keying you in to how they feel about anything I would just take the fact that she still hangs out with you as a green light to keep pushing things farther. Seriously don't expect her to risk rejection
shykitty Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 So I've been reading through some of these posts, and I've seen some good advice being given out so I thought I would put my dilemma out there. So there's a girl from work that I've kind of been hanging out with for the past couple months. She's a really cool girl and we share a lot of the same interests. But I can't really tell if she's really into me. I went down to the beach with her family for a few days this summer. we went camping together about a month ago, and we've hung out a bunch of times. After the camping trip we went to the movies, ended up movie hopping, so during the movies I have my arm around her and we're holding hands, but I can't muster up the balls to try and kiss her. Anyways I dropped her home, and I went in for a kiss. I think I caught her by surprise, it wasn't short, but it wasn't long. Afterwards she gave me another hug and I was on my way. So it's been a few weeks since then and we've hung out a couple times. but all I've gotten is more hugs. One time she got out of the car and then came back in to give me a hug. So I don't know if me kissing her freaked her out, but if it did would she still hang out with me? She's the kind of girl who has a lot of guy friends, which I don't have a problem with. The only thing is I can't tell if she's romantically interested in me, or if I'm just another guy she hangs out with. If there's any other info that might help out let me know, Thanks for reading you're going to just have to be courageous and go for it. Because if you don't, some other guy will.
Author puckstopper Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 so we hung out at my friend's place the other night. got kinda drunk, and ended up kissing a little more intensely than my previous post. then she went to the bathroom and never came back?!? long story short we had to carry her back to the couch. I asked her the next day if she remembered anything from the night before and she said she didnt. So Im having a hard time figuring out if we only really kissed cause she was wasted or if she even remembers kissing me. we hung out tonight and im back to just getting hugs....so confused
BikerBeagle Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I would say you are in the friend zone. Girls will do a lot of stuff while intoxicated that they wouldn't do sober because they have an instant "get-out-of-guilt-free" card by 'not' remembering it the next day. It is for this very reason that you can't analyze any situation where alcohol is involved. Trust me, if she was into you, she'd at least remember that *something* happened between you two.
carhill Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 OK, no more kissing unless she's verifiably sober Does she kiss other guys when she's sober? Intoxicated? This is a good indicator of where you are in the mix.
amylulu Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 The best thing to do is just ask. Tell her how you feel and that if she doen't feel the same way that you would still like to continue being friends.
Author puckstopper Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 So amylulu i was going to take your advice but some interesting and unsettling information has come out. SO there's this other guy at work who apparently likes her as well, I'll refer to him as Mr X from here on out. he's a bit younger, and unfortunately to say in much better shape than me. I'm a goalie so Im in shape but this kid just works out all day. anyways i was hanging out with her and we were going over to her friends house who is a mutual friend of her and Mr X. So while we were driving there she was on the phone with her friend and mentioned something along the lines of "if he gets what he wants right know i'd just get all clingy, and it would be bad" so this kind of hit me cause it's obvious she is thinking about someone and if it was me would she really say something like that in front of me? So as we pulled up she kind of scoffed and said "Mr X is here" I asked why she cared, then she said "he liked me or something like that...." and then she got all vague, in descriptive, and trailed off. she also does this a lot whenever she is telling me about other guys she hangs out with. if that's good or bad I don't really know. And I would write mr X off totally but at work on tuesday night she was talking about going and getting drunk that night, and who picks her up? none other than mr x. So know i'm kind of freaked out that A. She very well could be thinking about this Mr X. or some other Mr i dont even know and B. that asking her could ruin the friendship what's a girl's take on that, does a guy friend telling you he likes you screw up the friendship if the feelings arent reciprocated?
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