Author kizik Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 i dont have the confidence or anyting to meet someone new and even then that comfort zone i had with this girl i think i will never get again and it hurts so much.. maybe im wrong i hope to god im wrong You are wrong, you will find that comfort with someone again, but the thing is: you have to see your breakup as a life-changing opportunity. I am not a believer in fate, but I do think that my breakup happened for a reason. I have made some important changes in my life and in my attitude since 6 months ago and I never would have gotten here if it hadn't happened. Examples: I am at a new school, have a new job, and a new attitude. I'm not saying these things wouldn't have happened had I stayed with my ex, but the chances are unlikely that they would have. You feel sh*tty now, but be patient and it will all make sense soon. Don't contact her and work on rebuilding your old life.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 I'm a damn bellydancer and no men want me...yeah, that makes me feel sad and lonely. I'm a published author, I have a big brain. I will happily knit beautiful things and bake bread for those I love. I give a kickass massage. I'm independent, have my own place and a good job, and have no kids. And yet still, there is no man out there who is interested. I'm very lonely, but I've accepted that love is not going to be a part of my life and I'm trying hard to just spend as much time as possible with friends. Are you into 5'6", 128 lbs., 38 year old, black men who are struggling to find a job and live at home with their mothers? Do you mind if the man was in the military and was kicked out do to some loopiness in the UCMJ (Universal Code of Military Justice)? Do you mind if this guy who is a poet at heart suffers from slight cases of depression and anxiety? And do you mind if he is a kinky, sensual, honest romantic who is waiting until he is married to have sex and desires to have two or three kids? If you are, then hit me up. If not, then maybe you should really think about the following... 1) Are you being too picky or do you have such high standards that no man has any hopes to approach or the ones that do are not in your area. 2) Thing about the vibes you give off... Do you come across as too outside of reach? Do you come on too strong? Do you not give off that "I am available vibe"? 3) Maybe people have been trying to get your attention and your too dense (or afraid to let yourself) to know it? 4) Could you have my problems with depression and anxiety? 5) Or maybe your in my shoes and just have to wait forever and just hope someone picks us one day? I wish you better luck than I have had in this world of man-woman intimate relationships... My track record with women totally sucks! DNR
M3mphisSaint Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Damn, its so scary to read things that you could've written yourself. I wish we could all meet somewhere and have a party and see that we really aren't alone. I was just thinking the EXACT same thing
M3mphisSaint Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 What sucks is I'm 34, I don't really have many friends here where I live. I have reconnected with a few from college but it's not the same as some really close friends I have that leave several hours away. So basically when my ex and I broke up I was like, damn, I gotta regroup. She had friends here, is from the area so she can just fall back into her circle so to speak, I have to try and pick up the pieces. Thing is, I like going out, but most of the people I know here are in relationships or married and going out alone sucks. And when I do go out I don't really feel ready to meet someone and when I do talk to people I don't feel like I have anything to offer. It's weird. It's like the older you get the harder it is, maybe I won't worry over so much little stuff next time.
SgtPepper Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I have been beating myself up for feeling this way, but at least now I know that I am not alone. I realize now that I put too much into my relationship and now that it is gone, my life is out of balance. I am 41 and waaay past going to bars and clubs to meet people, so I have signed up for Meet Ups just to make friends, not romantic connections. Yet, whenever something is scheduled, I don't want to go. I don't even want to contact the friends I already have. Maybe it's fear? I'm not sure. I do know there is a part of me that realizes I am doing this to fill a void and it makes it all a little fake somehow. Maybe I just need more time alone to grieve my loss because I really don't want to burst into tears for no apparent reason when I am supposed to be out meeting new people. I cry at the drop of a hat lately.
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