cali lady Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 an acquaintance confided to a friend of mine that she's...had relations...with two men that my friend knows. both men are married. my friend does not know either of these mens wives personally, she just sees them around sometimes. my friend is not particularly close to the acquaintance and is very bothered by the knowledge of these infidelities. she feels that if her man had cheated on her and someone knew about it, she'd want that someone to tell her. but then she also feels weird telling these women she doesnt even know what their husbands have done. of course, there's the chance the the acquaintance is lying (but why would she do that??), and most likely all parties would deny the whole thing and then my friend would feel silly..but should she tell? dont the wives have the right to know? or is it none of my friends business? supposedly the acquaintance had a one night thing w/ one of the husbands but she's currently in a "relationship" with the other husband. opinions?
GreenEyedLady Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 MYOB: that is what she should do. And stop spreading rumors by telling you.
KATANYA Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Leave it alone. She doesnt even know these people - maybe she thinks she's doing her duty but I'd see her as a world class trouble maker and gossip!!!!!
2sunny Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 stay out of it. at this point it's just gossip... and to get involved in any of it is not what is needed.
Lizzie60 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 WOW.. this is a 'I heard from someone who heard from someone else' kind of thing.. I say mind your own business.. geeezzzz
White Flower Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Never tell the wife unless you know the wife is seeking answers. Then and only then is she ready to handle the truth.
LakesideDream Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Never tell the wife unless you know the wife is seeking answers. Then and only then is she ready to handle the truth. What WF said... keep you nose in your own business and your pie hole closed.
jwi71 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 The road to hell is paved with good intentions. If this were your best friend of thirty years, then yes you should tell. But not the friend of an acquaintance of your fourth cousin twice removed.
Author cali lady Posted October 22, 2008 Author Posted October 22, 2008 well in my friends defense she did hear about this directly from the "other woman"..but you are all right in that my friend doesnt know the wives at all. i guess my friend just feels like if she were the wife then she'd want to know. but i kind of feel like this cant have been the first indescretion of these men, and if the wives did want to know then they would, right? anyways, thanks for your feedback
White Flower Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 My exMM's W once dialed my cell phone. She never left a message. That tells me she really didn't want to know the truth; was not ready for it then. I have told my exMM that if she ever completes that call (by getting through or leaving a message asking me to return her call) and wants some answers I will definitely share anything with her she wants to know. We can't know someone's condition or mental state if we do not know them personally. Just because I could handle anything I was told does not mean that others have the same capacity to handle certain truths. Say I go to exMM's W and blurt it all out, thinking I may bring her some comfort of discovering the 'missing chapters' of her life story; what if she goes ballistic and hurts herself or someone else? What if she is prone to developing a rash, shingles, or experiencing seizures? I don't know her so I wouldn't want to risk sharing information with her that might be easy for me yet devastating to her and those around her. I have considered in times past approaching a friend of hers and asking them to ask her if she would want to know. Perhaps if you know this woman or someone who is close enough to ask her if she would want to know (in a hypothetical way) then you can get a clue as to whether she is ready to accept the truth.
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