gilbert Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Even though it was a while ago, should I act like it just happened? It feels that way to me. We have been having problems for some time now. I have never had any proof that he did cheat, only one time before when he admitted to calling this different girl on the phone, he said. Now someone has come to me and told me that this girl joined their church and confessed that she had an affair with a married man and guess who it was? My husband. Apparently she now feels so bad about it that she left the church and has moved away to keep her husband from finding out and the person who told me would not give me her name (to protect the innocent). So now I am sitting here wondering what to do about this. I have to confront him but I am sure this happened almost 2 years ago, crazy I know. What do I do?
Geishawhelk Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Maybe confront is not the word you need. maybe it 'lay it on the line'.... Maybe you need to tell him that you are 'extremely reliably informed' that..... And what does he propose to do about it? What do you? Can you let sleeping dogs lie, or is this gonna batter your brains from the inside until you burst? How do you feel?
silverbeamer Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Oh, dang Gilbert... I've been there and done that... only it didn't take me 2 years to find out about it. Life is full of decisions. Each day we make some decisions of all different sizes and for some reason your hubby decided to be with someone else. Does it suck? Totally. Can you move past it? Yes, I hope so... You have to talk to him about it. Ask him very nonchalantly about it if you can- if he doesn't catch on keep dropping hints that you know something happened a while back and see if he admits to it. If he does- you know he regrets it and wants to clear the air. If he denies it up and down then tell him you know what happened... Do you think this is going to end your marriage? Were you having issues around the time this happened? Do you recall how the two of you were doing or feeling?
imagine Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 He got away with it once. How do you not no that he is having an affair now. Time to install the keyloggers and cell phone checks. I would say that a marriage is built on honesty. There is no predictability for the future without foundations that are laid in the past. You may want to check out "Surviving an affair" and "His Needs/ Her Needs" by Dr Harley. Start now. There is a fair amount of ground to be covered.
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