Author 2sure Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 LOLOLOL. THANK YOU JJ! I needed that so very much. Seriously, I think I am going to copy that response directly, it is so perfect. The business is a bank and the account is for campaign finances ... so the application is Perfect!! Thank you all for taking the time to read this and also for taking away my victim-y attitude. I hate that. I feel more empowered now. By using JJ's letter, I wont sound so.....protecting my ground, you know? I will sound more like: I AM NOTHING IF NOT F*CKG GRACIOUS...and I'm much more comfy with that.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 2 sure you sound very very switched on. DO NOT let your pride etc get in the way of protecting your privacy. She will count on that. Use of private data for nonbusiness purposes is very very serious and shows that this girl has very very poor judgement. You can not afford to play with that. Dont be a coconspirator in her games. Send the email to HR if you dont want to send it to the president.
Lishy Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Ok 2, but remember that YOUR actions could also have consequences - It is pretty likely that the girl will lose her job if you do that! I think that you should send HER the letter and a copy of her email and tell her in no uncertain terms that if she so much as looks your hubbies way you will take that as a slight on you and her boss will be getting that email.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 You are so welcome and honey if its for campaign finances she is dead meat. You know how serious these things are. Make SURE you copy the bank president. The last thing your H needs is a scandal. And this girl is looking to create one if she is doing things like that. She is a loose cannon. Let us know how it goes.... and am pleased the letter is helpful as its a campaign finance thing it will do the trick. Go get her tiger!
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Lishy she probably will lose her job but she shouldnt be working in a bank if she is stupid enough to do something like that with a politicians account. This is very very serious stuff. You dont play games like that. I hate to think of anyone being unemployed and 2sure can say to the bank president that she doesnt want the girl fired if that is how she feels but... this is not a game. And besides Lishy 2sure warned this girl once already... what the f is she doing... especially during a campaign
Author 2sure Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 Wow. Switched on. You got that right. I already have the letter verbatum as a draft in my email. Yes. Need to remember that my actions also have consequences and are a direct reflection of both me and my husband. Holy crap. I do not have the luxery of flying off the handle.
Author 2sure Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 Seriously, how is it possible that women possibly thousands of miles away can give me advice that applies directly to my personality and that it can be so spot on? How is possible that I can only be honest about life anonymously? Oh well. I'm thankful. And still somewhat amused, so its all good.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Because we are psychic LOL. Actually that letter is something I would easily write for business which is why it just flowed out as if it were channeled. I have no idea where you live or who you are (my psychic powers arent that strong). You know your situation. Are you comfortable sending the letter? If you think that this could create a scandal then dont send it just email the president. If you think its better to wait until after the election do that. But I dont think that letter says flying off the handle. Perhaps you want to ask your H? Perhaps not he is too preoccupied with the election.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 And as for anonymity you could be any one of a million state legislators wives or mayors wives or sheriffs wives across the country (who knew you were Mrs Biden) LOL
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 but you HAVE to do something to protect your privacy and your Hs privacy this bank is in bad trouble if the girls there are using account opening documents as an alternative to match.com
Author 2sure Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 H is not so important politically that it would be A BIG scandal, something like this. But big enough that the bank pres. will see its potential. In this field, an eye on your future reputation is also important. She is at an entry level position, I'm almost positive she will be fired. My posts here however, would be another story. Would be a big deal. All of it, all of it, is so much to deal with, that I must allow myself this venue.
Author 2sure Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 I'm leaving the office, going to have TWO martinis and stay away from email this evening.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Wow JJ, Great work!!! Remind me to pm you next time I need a letter! 2Sure, enjoy those martinis! You've earned them today!
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Enjoy your martinis. I think simply forwarding it to the bank president with a word about client confidentiality is sufficient. When you opened the account you trusted the bank to use your details solely for banking purposes. The fact that she used private bank data for personal purposes is very serious and does not reflect badly on you at all. It just shows she is a twit and the fact that she would use bank data to email a clients husband with her photo is shocking really. You do her a great favor by letting her pay teh consequences now. But of course you do yourself a bigger favor
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 And I am sorry but I just noticed she is MARRIED...... no no no... loss of job is not a big problem then is it. Husband can look after his sassy little wife while she gets a new job... this girl is perhaps even stupider than the person who brought down Enron with that email about not shredding documents wink wink...
Owl Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 That is outrageous. SO sorry that happened. Send an email to her and and HR and whomever else you think appropriate. Dear What a nice welcome to [name of institution]. As you know I, (enter your husband's name)'s wife was the one who opened the account at your institiution. Everyone welcomes personal services however I was not aware that I could expect my husband to recieve emails and photos from random employees as part of the very personal services you provide. Generous as that is, I expect that from this date forward all communications between me and my family and [name of institution] and its employees will be limited to those specifically contracted for in the account opening documents. If this is an extra perk not normall offered by [name of institution] perhaps [name of institution] needs to check its data protection controls. [say something about discretion and trusting them with your personal data] For the avoidance of doubt, we are not interested in recieving solicitations from any third parties for any other services and do not want our personal details sold or exchanged with any other suppliers." Its hard to know exactly what to say without knowing what sort of institution it is. But you get the idea.... Didnt you say your H was a politician? If this is the lack of care that is given to personal data heads should ROLL. And I hate to say it but please.... she sends a photo and jeopardizes her career when it was just texts.... Im not so sure about that... She sound like an 0900 type girl sure she doesnt have a second job? I haven't read the whole thread...but I LOVE this response. This is EXACTLY what I was going to recommend. Very, very well done JJ!! Seriously...do this. Wait a week or two...let the company respond or not. Then...REGARDLESS of whatever action her company takes...forward her email to her H/SO per your original ultimatum to her. These steps are independent of each other, BUT...send the letter to her H only AFTER you've given her company time to process. Don't let her spin you as a psychotic woman...which she might by saying that you went to her H as well. See what I'm saying? But...do follow up on your ultimatum. And...personally...I would take this as proof that she's NOT been in contact with your H anytime recently...the tone and photo suggest that. Not to mention that your H probably would have never gone along with you using his email account if they were.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Thanks Owl. Much appreciated. It does need a tweak or two as below. I would not go to her H - going to her employer serves YOUR needs and your Hs needs far better. If the bank doesnt have its employees well trained enough not to do that then... there is a bigger problem. Dear What a nice welcome to [name of institution]. As you know I, (enter your husband's name)'s wife was the one who opened the account at your institiution. Everyone welcomes personal service [delete s] however I was not aware that I could expect my husband to recieve emails and photos from random employees as part of the very personal services you provide. Generous as that is, I expect that from this date forward all communications between me and my family and [name of institution] and its employees will be limited to those specifically contracted for in the account opening documents. If this is an extra perk not normally offered by [name of institution] then for the avoidance of doubt, we are not interested in recieving solicitations from any third parties for any other services and do not want our personal details sold or exchanged with any other suppliers of other goods or services of any nature personal or otherwise. Moreover if this is not standard bank practice, I would urge you to revisit the banks policies and procedures regarding the safeguarding of confidential customer information."
Owl Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Going to BOTH the bank AND her husband...seperately...best serves her needs. It drives a crystal clear, unmistakable message. And...it gives her H a chance to know the truth of what's been going on in the process. I would delay going to the H long enough to allow the bank to start appropriate action on their end first...as I said...to prevent her from spinning the situation and doing damage control. Once they begin the process on their side (a week or so should be sufficient)...then start it on the other front. Point blank, at the end of the day...this woman has all of this coming to her. Unlike many people...she was duly warned. She knowingly and intentionally 're-crossed that line'. I advise a well placed tactical nuclear device in this instance. Double-whammy her...and smile when she loses both job and marriage.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 What consequences might the OP and her H endure if she goes to the H/SO? Her husband is working the plan and she had agreed to try to move forward. I don't think it is in the best interest of their M to get the other party involved. The letter works perfectly, let her explain to her H why she was fired. Also, there were inappropriate text exchanged between these two, OP states there was no EA or PA. A year and a half later, I don't believe the M that they are working to save deserves the drama because some little tart gets her jollies flirting inappropriately. Her M shouldn't be as important as theirs.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I would totally agree with you Owl but... her H is a politician. If she goes to the H, then there could be scandal. Going to the bank is just a violation of banking procedure. When that girl has to explain to her H WHY she lost her job ... it will all come out. Im not sure you even get unemployment insurance if you are fired for cause... And W will have clean hands. No muss no fuss. No problems for her H Horses agree with you entirely
Owl Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 The risk of a scandal is already huge. ANY of the involved people could let the secret slip. The IT guy who runs the bank's computers could see the email to the politician's account and take it straight to the rags. OW's nosy co-worker could have been reading over her shoulder. This risk got out of bounds the moment this guy started his inappropriate relationships. Odds are high that it WILL come out at some point...that's how these things work out, ESPECIALLY with public figures. ANY action taken here runs the risk that OW will spill the beans out of spite anyway. But telling the H at least levels the playing field...everyone else ALREADY knows the deal, but he's the one sitting out there without a clue. You and I will just have to offer differing advice to 2Sure and let her run from there. I respect what you're saying...don't take me wrong.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 and vice versa (respecting your opinion). This girl is trouble.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 The thing is this: I TOLD her what I would do if she contacted him again. At the same time...things have been great between H and I and I am not feeling threatened. I dont know if sending the hundreds of text messages exchanged last year to her husband is something I should do right now. But...I said thats what I would do. I told her there would be consequences. Yes you did. She must think you are a bluffer. You have to make good on your threat now. Not only because you promised what would happen, but her husband deserves to know he is married to a cheater. If for no other reason, do it so the husband is informed. He doesn't deserve to be kept in the dark.
Author 2sure Posted October 22, 2008 Author Posted October 22, 2008 I cannot tell you all how much your replies have helped me see more clearly. I had not thought of all of the options or consequences. I did have just one martini after work and felt better for it. Owl - I was looking for your input and I thank you. I find your views more straight forward than my own, but often similar. My husband and I both apparently met this woman at a fund raiser. I don't recall the introduction. She was working as a volunteer for a local candidate whom I support. I simply dragged H along with me to help the guy out. After meeting H, she asked him for some paperwork that would help this candidate. H gave her his card, wrote his cell phone # and there you have it. The paperwork was never exchanged. A few weeks later, she went to hear him speak and started texting him right there while he was at the podium, with "Your Hot" stuff like that. H responded similarly and it continued 20 or so a day for more than a month. Upon finding out about her and two OW , same scenerio, I launched a full on investigation. PI, records searches, everything. H never even knew her last name, if she was married, nothing. All just stupid senseless ego tripping. I think she is probably a computer records maintenance clerk, or some such,and when she came across our last name...checked it out..and sent the email. I am forwarding the email and picture to the bank's VP whose office is at the same location. In my attached email I plan to play dumb, as in: Possibly you have my email incorrectly attached to some other account or correspondence record...Please correct the problem immediately. I want to add the verbiage about privacy and security from JJ's letter as well as the part about the generous customer service, just to keep it light. ... In conclusion, I will keep this email on file and notify your office immediately should I receive any further inappropriate communication. I am not copying it to TART because I dont want to give her a chance, as you folks have advised, to put any spin on this. I am positive the VP will call her on this but feel my letter does not imply I may seek legal advice or that I want her dismissed. They might, they might not. I cant care. I want my husband to see the letter after it is sent. I need to show him that MY consequences are real. I do believe he is a changed man. I also know his need for approval , his ego, his gregariousness is both his charm and his downfall. He has to know I mean every word I say, just in case temptation ever gets hard to resist. I dont care about her. I dont care if she loses her job, or her husband. Over texting a stranger nonsense, it would be a shame. But the email is serious. I feel any scandal she or hubby would hope to cause would seem small and petty. She is a political groupie. Sounds stupid, I cant figure it out, but they exist! You know what? I'm going to post the letter here in the morning before I hit send. Just in case.
Lishy Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 After reading how she met your hubby I completely agree! She is disregarding you and disrespecting you Let her have it! She deserves it!
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