Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I met her at work and we flirted and talked alot - sometimes we would take half hour coffee breaks . I know she lives with a boyfriend. Anyways, on my last day at work I told her I'd like to see her again. To that she said yes, but then she said that not next week but the week after. And then not Wednesdays because it's "girls night out". Fine. Also I only have her work email - and she said that's what I should use to contact her. But then I got to thinking .. maybe I put her on the spot and that's why she said yes. She knew I was leaving and so then she wouldn't have to deal with it anyway. Should I even contact her?
Lucky_One Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I am not sure if she is interested, but I am not sure what you would be wanting to see her for. An affair? You sound like a nice guy; do you really want to maintain a "friendship" that has to be hidden from her friends and her partner, or to be relegated to seeing her during time that she dictates and only being able to contact her via her work email?
Author Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 Uhm, she has a boyfriend! Uhm, they're not married
Author Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 I am not sure if she is interested, but I am not sure what you would be wanting to see her for. An affair? You sound like a nice guy; do you really want to maintain a "friendship" that has to be hidden from her friends and her partner, or to be relegated to seeing her during time that she dictates and only being able to contact her via her work email? Well, I dunno. Since they're not actually married, maybe she has the option of leaving him. At this point, I've grown to like her.
EYECANDY000 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 It definately seems like you are very attracted to her and would like for it to go further if it was another circumstance. But, why are you even putting thought into. Contacting her if she has a boyfriend? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that. Its impossible to remain friends but it seems like you would like more. Also, if she putting you off to meet with you just to hang out, then she may just been cordial so she don't hurt your feelings. Come on, she put it off a whole two weeks. That excuse is as lame as saying ' I have to wash my hair' so I can't go out tonight
prettybaby Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Uhm, they're not married Uhm, it's still called a relationship. Nice morals you got there.
mysocalledlife Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Uhm, they're not married They may not be married, but it sounds to me like you might want her to dump him for you. If I am wrong, I apologize. But if I am correct, think how you would feel if you were her BF. Not cool.
Shygirl15 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Well, I dunno. Since they're not actually married, maybe she has the option of leaving him. At this point, I've grown to like her. You may want to read "Cali in a Pickle" thread.
Author Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 It definately seems like you are very attracted to her and would like for it to go further if it was another circumstance. But, why are you even putting thought into. Contacting her if she has a boyfriend? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that. Its impossible to remain friends but it seems like you would like more. Also, if she putting you off to meet with you just to hang out, then she may just been cordial so she don't hurt your feelings. Come on, she put it off a whole two weeks. That excuse is as lame as saying ' I have to wash my hair' so I can't go out tonight I thought about that. But then again, she could have said "I can't, I have a boyfriend" or "Great! I'll bring my boyfriend". I mean she had a million ways to easily and legitilately put it off. That's why I'm just a little confused.
prettybaby Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Perhaps she finds you cute and likes you and so she didn't want to hurt your feelings. However, the hints she's thrown at you (how she could only meet you at certain times, to only contact her through her work e-mail, etc) are clearly pointing at the fact that she's not 100% comfortable with this. You can send her an e-mail and casually meet up with her, but I wouldn't keep my hopes up just yet. Do you even know how long they've been together? Whether a couple is married or not doesn't necessarily mean much nowadays. A lot of couples are together for decades and never make it official. It doesn't make their relationship any less serious.
All Star Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I don't think she's interested. The date is planned for too far out. I've told guys "Why don't you trying calling me in a few weeks?" That's a joke. And you don't want to be the other man anyway. Drop it. She's already taken.
Scrivdog Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I have a completely different take on this. But then again, I've been through my share of relationships. Here's how I see it:1) She's interested. I agree with the OP in that she would have reminded him of the guy friend she's with. That's the ultimate flame retardant whether you just met or whether you're stepping it up. She had that option and chose not to use it.2) Because she has a boyfriend, she's not about to let you knock her off base unless she knows she's going to hit it off with you. She doesn't want to wond up with nobody. She's cautious.3) Of course she only wants to use the work email. She's hiding you from her livin-in. That, my friend, is a good sign. That means she sees you as something to hide.4) She maybe is busy that next week. But she did suggest the week after. She didn't say "I'll email you". That also is positive.She probably likes you, but she's also probably not ready for you to take her out of her comfort zone. You're going to have to work it.So my answer to you is don't listen to bed-wetters and yes, email her. Make it lunch or something non-threatening at first. She wants to see if she can envision leaving her current guy for you.
All Star Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I thought about that. But then again, she could have said "I can't, I have a boyfriend" or "Great! I'll bring my boyfriend". I mean she had a million ways to easily and legitilately put it off. That's why I'm just a little confused. She knows that you already know she has a BF and you asked anyway, so she can see that that is not something you care about and there would be no sense in saying it. So she tried something else. Basically, in parting, she gave you no more information than you already had. I've had guys try to get dates with me before they left the job and they left with far more information aboout how to reach me than they already had IF they were successful.
Author Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 It's not 2 weeks! I spoke to her on Friday. She suggested the week after. I could see her on Monday, just a little later than a week. Not that it means much .. but still.
Author Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 I have a completely different take on this. But then again, I've been through my share of relationships. Here's how I see it:1) She's interested. I agree with the OP in that she would have reminded him of the guy friend she's with. That's the ultimate flame retardant whether you just met or whether you're stepping it up. She had that option and chose not to use it.2) Because she has a boyfriend, she's not about to let you knock her off base unless she knows she's going to hit it off with you. She doesn't want to wond up with nobody. She's cautious.3) Of course she only wants to use the work email. She's hiding you from her livin-in. That, my friend, is a good sign. That means she sees you as something to hide.4) She maybe is busy that next week. But she did suggest the week after. She didn't say "I'll email you". That also is positive.She probably likes you, but she's also probably not ready for you to take her out of her comfort zone. You're going to have to work it.So my answer to you is don't listen to bed-wetters and yes, email her. Make it lunch or something non-threatening at first. She wants to see if she can envision leaving her current guy for you. Hmm. Interesting. Thanks!
All Star Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 It's not 2 weeks! I spoke to her on Friday. She suggested the week after. I could see her on Monday, just a little later than a week. Not that it means much .. but still. what type of work is it? and would it be reasonable to call her on the phone? If so, why did she not offer you that? If you email me, you can't tell if I'm in or not.
EYECANDY000 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 So, what's your intentions? If she said she's not happy with her relationship, Are you going to try and win her over and then deal with someone who is vulnerable . I say go ahead and go out with her, if you like being in a dating triangle.
Author Quence Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 what type of work is it? and would it be reasonable to call her on the phone? If so, why did she not offer you that? If you email me, you can't tell if I'm in or not. Just office work. I technically had her phone #. She didn't suggest that, though. Yeah - she may not have been interested .. blah
All Star Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Just office work. I technically had her phone #. She didn't suggest that, though. Yeah - she may not have been interested .. blah Oh, I don't want to be the wet blanket. Call her ont he phone at work and see how she receives you. If you know what time she goes to lunch, call just before that time. She if she is talkative.
SushiX Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I say hit it and bounce. If she cheats on her bf then she could cheat on you later. Stick around and you'll see.
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