stephie2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I honestly don't know where to begin, its such a long story. Over a year ago i found out that a guy from work was very attracted to me (he told me).Well...he was going through i guess what you could call a typical man stage (wanting love and affection). At the same time he was "over stepping" with three other women. When i found out about what was going on, i didnt talk to him much anymore. I had quit my job. Now, its over a year later and i'm back at the same job. He is still employed there. I had a few questions to ask him like...why did you want me and the others after things you said to me. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he more or less wanted the love and affection. Those other ladies were just using him to fulfill whatever they had missing in there lives. He also said that i was the only one that would listen to him and wasen't fake like the others. I told him that i felt used and it hurt. He sat and looked me in the eyes said that i was an amazing woman and that i was beautiful and he loved being around me. Its all the things that a woman wants to hear but with his words i knew he was sincere. He has been retraining me for my job the last few days. He has put his arms around me and kissed me while at work. The attraction that we both have for each other is very strong. Heres the downfall to the story, we both are married. I'm not a home wrecker. But when we get around each other were like magnets attrating with very little control. It really bothers me that there are more people involved in this attraction and i dont want anyone to get hurt. Its just very difficult to not hold myself together when i'm around him and vi versa. I'm sure alot of you that read this is going to smack me down to the ground but maybe thats what i need in order to keep my family together and to get stronger and turn away when i'm put in this type of situation. I really care about this person and i know the feelings are mutual.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 He looked me in the eyes and told me that he more or less wanted the love and affection. Those other ladies were just using him to fulfill whatever they had missing in there lives. He also said that i was the only one that would listen to him and wasen't fake like the others. I told him that i felt used and it hurt. He sat and looked me in the eyes said that i was an amazing woman and that i was beautiful and he loved being around me. Its all the things that a woman wants to hear but with his words i knew he was sincere. So the other ladies where using HIM to fulfill what was missing in their lives??? What is it you think they were missing??? Here's a clue... He sat and looked me in the eyes said that i was an amazing woman and that i was beautiful and he loved being around me. Its all the things that a woman wants to hear but with his words i knew he was sincere. You're are in for a lot of heartache. This man is an experienced cheater and you are begging for him to lie to you. You knew who he was when you left and nothing has changed. Why in the world would you go back to the same situation? Protect your heart Steph, his words are just the words that HE uses to get what he wants. How can a liar be worth risking your marriage over?
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 we both are married. I'm not a home wrecker Well, you're about to wreck your own home. In all honesty, you're playing with fire. Is ruining your marriage and life as you know it now worth throwing away? All for some MM who needs attention from many different women? IF you truly have feelings for him, then end your marriage. Your husband deserves to be with a woman who only loves him - So give him that choice. Tell him that you're interested in pursuing and fooling around outside of the marriage and decide together to either end your marriage or have an open marriage. To stay and chase after MM, have an affair, is just plain wrong. Do you have children?
2sure Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 The Heart Wants What it Wants Absolutely nothing you can do to protect your self respect, your families, or your jobs. No other way to restore/repair whatever is happening in your life or marriage without taking everyone down with you. I'm sorry already for the way I began this - yet I don't want to delete it. Since an A has not really started yet - maybe just maybe - this has a chance. While you read the posts here you will gain insight into the many reasons you should back off completely from this man. And you asked for perspective so I add this: A Married man of course, finds it SO MUCH more difficult to date or even hook up with women than a single guy. I would think the reason for this difficulty would be obvious. So, to increase their odds, they have to be that MUCH more persuasive, more charming, more convincing. I would say that they have to offer what no single available man can, just to make themselves marketable: They can freely offer complete romance, complete acceptance, make you feel perfect, all woman etc. Anything you want!! Because this is Affair land. Reality is no competition, since you are both taken and this is all a big secret - reality need play no part. Until you get caught. Then the reality includes your spouses and your children. Fully and completely. How could this possibly be worth the risk? Your guy by your own admission was hitting on several women - just fishing until one or more bit. Do you think he told the other women bad things?? I hope, I really do, that I have said these things for your own good.
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Your guy by your own admission was hitting on several women - just fishing until one or more bit. Do you think he told the women bad things?? Maybe she should go talk to those other women and compare notes. I'm betting he used the same lines and told them the same thing.
jwi71 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I honestly don't know where to begin, its such a long story. Over a year ago i found out that a guy from work was very attracted to me (he told me).Well...he was going through i guess what you could call a typical man stage (wanting love and affection). At the same time he was "over stepping" with three other women. OK...serial liar and cheater. Got it. I had a few questions to ask him like...why did you want me and the others after things you said to me. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he more or less wanted the love and affection. Those other ladies were just using him to fulfill whatever they had missing in there lives. He also said that i was the only one that would listen to him and wasen't fake like the others. I told him that i felt used and it hurt. He sat and looked me in the eyes said that i was an amazing woman and that i was beautiful and he loved being around me. Its all the things that a woman wants to hear but with his words i knew he was sincere.Translation: I am such a good and experienced liar I can say that with a straight face. And have you believe every word. Crikey, this guy could sell ice to Eskimos. Or maybe its everything you need to hear? Words your H never says? OP - this guy has one thing on his mind - and it isn't love and affection. I'm sure alot of you that read this is going to smack me down to the ground but maybe thats what i need in order to keep my family together and to get stronger and turn away when i'm put in this type of situation. I really care about this person and i know the feelings are mutual. 1)Divorce your H and abandon any children you may have. Or fight for custody of them with your H (we know your MM will support you in this) 2)Convince him to divorce his W and dump his three other tarts. Of course, the attraction is real, strong and sincere so he'll have no problem filing for D. BTW, where are the other three little crumpets? 3)Get married and live happily every after - he'll never cheat on you. After his failed marriage and at least three affairs, he found true and complete love with you. Eternal bliss awaits...get your D, Im sure he'll do the same and live happily ever after. Shall we come out out of "la-la land" and return to Earth? Good. If you value your marriage, quit your job. You have already crossed what should be an impassable line by kissing him. Find a MC take your H and go. Talk. Discover what is missing and fix it. You continue down this path and you only find pain. Don't do it.
Geishawhelk Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Noooo, stephie, don't listen to them! Follow your heart! Follow your legs! follow every word he says! it will be wonderful, you'll see! Start an affair with him, and everything will fall into place, and you'll live happily ever after!! Just kidding. WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU THINKING - ??!!?? You REALLY need advice on this- ? Come on lady, you've been married and raised kids, You're more intelligent than this, surely - ?
Al_Bundy Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I honestly don't know where to begin, its such a long story. Over a year ago i found out that a guy from work was very attracted to me (he told me).Well...he was going through i guess what you could call a typical man stage (wanting love and affection). At the same time he was "over stepping" with three other women. When i found out about what was going on, i didnt talk to him much anymore. I had quit my job. Now, its over a year later and i'm back at the same job. He is still employed there. I had a few questions to ask him like...why did you want me and the others after things you said to me. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he more or less wanted the love and affection. Those other ladies were just using him to fulfill whatever they had missing in there lives. He also said that i was the only one that would listen to him and wasen't fake like the others. I told him that i felt used and it hurt. He sat and looked me in the eyes said that i was an amazing woman and that i was beautiful and he loved being around me. Its all the things that a woman wants to hear but with his words i knew he was sincere. He has been retraining me for my job the last few days. He has put his arms around me and kissed me while at work. The attraction that we both have for each other is very strong. Heres the downfall to the story, we both are married. I'm not a home wrecker. But when we get around each other were like magnets attrating with very little control. It really bothers me that there are more people involved in this attraction and i dont want anyone to get hurt. Its just very difficult to not hold myself together when i'm around him and vi versa. I'm sure alot of you that read this is going to smack me down to the ground but maybe thats what i need in order to keep my family together and to get stronger and turn away when i'm put in this type of situation. I really care about this person and i know the feelings are mutual. I notice not once did you even give your husband the consideration of a mention. Must not care for him whatsoever. i have a feeling you are going to be one of those that tries to end the affair, not because you love your husband, because i don't think you do, but because you want to keep the family together and don't want to be seen as wrecking your own home.
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