JooLee Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 its over, its over, its over... he doesnt love me anymore... he loves her.. he doesnt love me anymore.. he doesnt want me anymore... he loves her and he wants her... there's no hope anymore.... there's no point holding on anymore.. i have to let go... and it makes me so sad... so sad...
Sysyphus28 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 It is not your fault that your ex loves someone else. You can't control him. Yuo are not a failure. The relationship failed, but you are still you. You will always be until you die. "every man thinks his burden is the heaviest" bob marley Its not, your heartbreak is one in a million heartbreaks. Your pain, is one in a million peoples pain. realize that it is over. digest it. It tastes like sh**.....I know. This person who hurt you has alot of qualities you love in a man, you loved him...........etc. this is how you should feel. put down your foot and say "you lost THIS buddy" "you broke up with a person that really loved you" I have been in 3/4 relationships that have involved significant love. One was my first love(16-17 yrs old), the next I was 23, and the next I was 26......I am 28, they all lasted a good amount of time and had some awesome memories. They all ended. Love was created, love was lost. Thier are no gaurantees in this LIFE. NONE Thier are no gaurantees in this life.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Misery loves company and I'm right there with you. She dumped me and we haven't talked in close to a week. She is content, complacent, happy, whatever with her decision; I don't know that for certain, but I keep telling myself that. She is smiling, laughing, enjoying life right now rather than curled up in a ball in the corner sobbing over missing me with my 7 digits dialed and her finger hovering over the phone trying to summons up the courage to press 'talk'. I try to convince myself of this so that I do not cling on to false hope that will keep me in a dark, lonely, dead-end place. I hide the best pictures of her from my view and pull out the worst pictures I can find. There are some that aren't too flattering of her. I look at those. I try to humanize her again. Not to be mean, but to tell myself she is nothing more than one of 6-7 billion people on the planet. She's not the center of the universe. She has morning breathe and gooey eyes when she wakes up just like everyone else. She takes a dump just like everyone else. She is a human-being equal to me. Her car, her house, her place of business is not sacred. And somewhere out there in those 6-7 billion people (well half of them anyway hee hee) is someone for me. Someone that will actually want to share their life with me. And when I find that girl, she will be pampered, spoiled, loved and know exactly how beautiful she is. She will get the new & improved me because I have learned from my mistakes. It hurts bad, but behind the hurt is a better me and someone is going to get to reap the benefits of that.
Author JooLee Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 Hey, thanks for replying the thing is, it took me 4 months to realise that the relationship is over and it could never be back again. It took me 4 months to realise that he has stopped having feelings for me and he has developed feelings for someone new. All this while i was thinking that there is no way someone could be in love with a person for a long period of time and suddenly stop loving the person and be in love with someone else. i had this hope that he was just kidding/ convincing himself and one day he would realise that he still loves me. But today i have accepted that he doesnt love me anymore. Today i also accepted that we are not meant to be. It doesnt hurt, and it doesnt anger me. i just feel sad... just sad... i allowed myself to weep for a while and now the heavy feeling on my chest has disappeared. I feel lighter and im actually smiling as i type this out. It feels like these 4 months i have been in a coma, letting life pass me by, feeling the emptiness... and now im awake, and i see reality as it is. before i was still walking and hoping/searching for the hand that used to warm my fingers but now i realise that the hand will never be back. it is gone. He is gone. the love is gone. I dont know how to feel about the relationship. i just feel now he's not and wasnt worth it. its funny because these 4 months all i could think of was how he's worth everything. and now i realise, i do deserve better and i do deserve to be happy. yes i do. and so do all of you. Sysyphus, thanks for your insight, but dont give up on love. indeed there is no guarantee but i guess you can take it that this is God's gentle way of letting us know we havent met the right one yet. i believe that. Cos when we are with the right one, thick and thin, you'll both pull through. I believe so, there are many couples who have done it. Michiganman, for sure it is hard. And i feel it is a good approach to the situation. Be strong, hold your head up. and definitely you will find that girl. break ups are never easy, wow... but you know what, we'll survive. and now its time to stop thinking about her, worrying about her, but doing what you want. sometimes moving on is the only choice you have. break ups doesnt make the other person a bad person. Sometimes situations changes people and you just got to accept. acceptance i believe, is a wonderful thing, wether you like it or not, because it makes you stronger and wiser.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 For me its been a month and a half since my ex left me for another woman. I still think hes going to realize I was better for him than her. I don't expect him back, but I'm banking on him dumping her eventually, and I shouldn't be. I hope I just come to the kind of acceptance you have soon JooLee, I don't like waiting around on him to get over that girl. OY
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