Dmoney28 Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Ok to make a long story short, after a 3 year 1/2 relationship she dumped me ( i cheated, yeah im a scum bag and dirtbag, but i really was remorseful and actually got spirtaul and psychological help, and would never do it again to anyone). After the first month of us talking and txting about why i did what i did, how hurt she was, how bad i felt...she decided no contact. Then we ended up going out for sushi and to the mall. ...we still were talking like friends ( we still care for each other..3 and a half years is hard to get over) So after i pick up the last of my stuff from her place...i broke down and made the mistake of begging for another chance(again)..it pushed her away, i end up leaving a apology letter for her...she txt the next day explaing how bad i pissed her off, and thanked me for the letter. So i decided to go no contact to heal and respet her space....after almost a week, i started to feel better, was getting some what normal sleep after a month. Starting to let go...then BOOM i get a txt at 12 in the morning, to see if i was ok...i was until you txted me. Damn..i feel like day 1...the pain of contact. I was finally letting go and accepting its over for real, and comming to terms with my badf behaviour...just need some imput or support..anything. I know i was wrong... trust me, cheating was the biggest mistake i have ever made. But if she wants to move on like me...why contact me only 6 days later...why not months..i still love her, but i hate staring back at day 1.
EmperorR Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 did you reply? if so don't 27 days NC for me, my ex messaged me twice I just ignored them twice, I know the feeling your fine starting to turn the page, and then it's like they know and wait not so fast and send a text or phone you or whatever and then you get so excited, just ignore it next time.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 You are doing way better Emper.......................... Good job in ignoring those txts. What a bootleg way to try and contact someone.....a crappy table-scrap of affection. Way to not be desperate dog and gobble them up. If she wanted to really talk to you she would have truly reached out for communication. A phone call with a message or a detailed email. Screw her crap attempts at clearing her guilt. Call someone else B****. You had your chance.
SushiX Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Once someone cheats in a relationship, it will NEVER be the same again. I made that mistake before. I let a cheater back into my life. It just doesn't work out. She texts you because she misses you, afterall you did date for 3 1/2 yrs. You blew it. Stay NC. Sorry but cheaters will always be remembered with hatred. Trust me on that.
jen's mind Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 If she wanted to really talk to you she would have truly reached out for communication. A phone call with a message or a detailed email. Screw her crap attempts at clearing her guilt. Call someone else B****. You had your chance. I feel exactly the same way. How sincere is a bleeding text message or IM? It's passive-aggressive, really. They can get to you but you can't get to them. It's like being jabbed in the heart with an arrow shot from another dimension. There's no warning and you can't see it coming. Honestly, a text from her means she happened to think of you at that moment. A singular, finite moment. You cannot read anything beyond that. She jabbed you, and now you're in pain and trying to cope. I can only imagine the kind of pain she has endured in learning that you cheated on her. I don't know how recently the cheating happened, but I would imagine that some significant time and distance would be necessary for her to heal herself. Trust that no contact is the best you can do. You might feel like you're back on Day 1 now, but the next couple of days will be better than the first few that you already made it through, and it sounds like you were starting to feel better then anyway.
Author Dmoney28 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 See the problem with your idea that cheaters never change...applies to some..not all. My father cheated on my mother in the begining. He caught hell for almost a year...but eventually she forgave him, and they reconciled. Depends on how much they love each other i guess. 33 years later, they are still married. So i guess it depends on the person. Both people have to be willing to work through it...if not, its best to say goodbye.
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