LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I just hate this line. Don't patronize me, my self esteem isn't a problem. As for the line, it's not just girls who use it...my guy friend uses the line, "You're a great girl, but....." with girls ALL the time and it pisses me off, but you know, guys also say they "had a great time and will call" and don't, or people say, "it's not you it's me"....all the time!!! When it comes to dating, I doubt most people are intentionally dishonest, they would just rather sugar coat everything then be straight up about things!!! As for why it isn't working out with these girls, there are way too many reasons. Some probably don't even involve you. Just be the best person that you can and you'll eventually meet the right girl. You could be: 1. attracting women who don't want relationships (I was like that years ago, but now I'm looking/open for something long term) 2. maybe you're attracted to a particular type of women whether it's where they don't want serious relationship, or just the type who want to casually date or are not attracted to "nice guys", or just love the attention.... 3. maybe you are sending out some needy vibes (not saying this is you per se, but just another possible theory/reason), since people, men and women, are generally intuitive about a potential partner's sense of neediness....or you're coming on too strong... 4. these women aren't mature enough to know to be honest with you rather then give you lines.... Soooo many reasons!!!!
samspade Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Most "nice guys" either have a problem they're ignoring or are doing something wrong. I see you finger pointing and blaming the women for their "emotional hangups", but if you are getting the same result with different women over and over again, that suggests something is missing from your approach or what you bring to the table. Maybe you're picking one particular type of woman that's looking for something other than what you offer. Maybe you have no passion in life. I think you need to think about your approach and see what you can do to improve it. This is the correct answer. And, to my surprise, it was posted by a female. Most women would tell a "great" (read: "nice") guy to hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. It's true: If you keep doing what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got. You're the constant in this series, and the women are variable. Yet you think THEY'RE the problem? It's your behavior, plain and simple. It needs to be modified to get the results you want. It seems like you've been introspective, but perhaps not completely honest with yourself. Or, you're not isolating and eliminating the exact pitfalls. You're probably letting yourself get swept away a little too much. That 3-4 week period is great, but it's also when you have to temper your enthusiasm with patience. Women will say all of those sweet things, partially because they mean them, and partially to test you and see how secretly eager you truly are. This doesn't mean you should pretend to act a certain way. Like the young lady said, have a passion in life beyond women. Date 2-3 women at once. Change your attitude so that having a relationship isn't priority one on your list. If being in a LTR is important to you, the first step is not to care if you're in one or not. Sooner or later, you'll hear that special woman say "You're a great guy," and there will be no "but" clause.
bhweller Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Its definitely a blow off line for guys they are bored with. Women like to be entertained during the first few dates, and only later do they really care how nice you are. Thats why there are so many a-hole ex boyfriends go on youtube and watch some james bond love scenes or something, you will get the idea.
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