alwayssme Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 i have been posting in here for the past two months but i feel like if i truly write the whole story it would be way too long and i don't want to make you guys read too much. basically i used to have trust issues when it came to...well everything. i was always so sceptical. then one day i met the perfect guy. honestly he did so much for me and was great to me. he made mistakes too but i still loved him. me on the other hand--well...let's just say i had times where i really treated him wrong, and i don't know why. i made my mistakes but he always seemed to forgive me. i kept telling myself i need to change but i just couldn't for some reason besides all this we did have a good relationship but i showed him a messed up side of me...untill the day he left me. he told me his love for me was gone and he didnt want to be with me...i'm devastated. i have tried to get him back and show him i love him in a thousand ways, and tell him i have changed but he tells me "i never change" and that it doesn't matter anymore, it's too late now. then he says it has nothing to do with me, "it's not you it's me. i can't help that i don't want to be with you anymore"... at first i went crazy, crying to him and begging him to take me back but he didnt...he was there for me and felt bad for hurting me but that was it...i feel miserable because i KNOW i could have been a MUCH MUCH better girlfriend and right now i just want to show him the GOOD side of me but its too late. i feel so angry at myself and at him for changing so much. even after going out and dating other people i cannot let go of him...it hurts too much because he is my life. at times i think i would have much rather died than had such a slow death as this...i have dreams of him being cold to me and at times dreams of us getting back. i have great friends and all but i just cant get over him! i'm not doing that good in school, i feel sick to my stomach, it's been two months and im still in shock this is over...i feel traumatized, i love him with all of me and it feels like this will never end! no matter how many times i go out, at the end of the day and when i wake up in the morning the pain is still there.. i was even thinking about taking a semster off and going away for awhile in another place where nothing reminds me of him or my life! im going through it and i cant find a solution to make this all go away ...suggestions?? being in love should NOT hurt this much, its not healthy
maxmuscle Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 alwayssme, First off, we all make mistakes as humans being in a relationship. Some are bad, and some are terrible, such as cheating. Nobody is perfect. Trust is so fragile and delicate. Your issues with trust affected your relationship. Did he ever give you a reason not to trust him? because if he didn't, you should have not put a trust issue on the relationship, That can really wear on a person. I am sorry for your lost. God help us all, because as I type, my heart bleeds for my recent break-up.
Author alwayssme Posted October 20, 2008 Author Posted October 20, 2008 would taking a break be a good idea? probably not...well i know this semester is hard...and i can't take off now anyway! i'm so confused..this sucks
CherishG Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 always, I truly wish I could give you advice, but I have a hard time already following other's advice, how can I give you any... I am going out of my mind, and it's also really killing me. I'm like a walking zombie for the past 2 months now. I try and try to go NC, but I can't, for the sake of our daughter. The longest I've gone NC was 12 whole days, like 2wks ago, and I turned my phone off, ignored all his calls and guess what? lately he's been calling so much and not because of making arrangements to see our baby, BUT TO ACTUALLY HAVE A CONVERSATION... I am just sooooooooooo sad!
Author alwayssme Posted October 20, 2008 Author Posted October 20, 2008 cherish!! i havent seen u on here in awhile..how have you been girl? do u think maybe he wants to get back with you? what does he say when he calls? maybe you still have a chance with him...,i know you may think i'm CRAZY for saying this (and i probably am) but sometimes i WISH i had a baby with him so he could always be in my life regardless! i know i sound so desparate and i cant beleive myself...but i think there is always a bigger chance of people getting back together and falling in love again when there is a baby in the picture! I wish you the best girl, i really do, your baby is beautiful, hopefully your ex will get it together and you can be happy, and if not then hopefully you'll find someone better! [i know hearing things like that doesn't do much
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