CaliGuy Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Now, my question...Is there anything in particular that you(men or woman) pay more attention to when dating...especially when dating outside your race? I have dated just about every race of woman there is. Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, etc. You name it. The only thing I cared about is who she was, not what she was. If your focus is on who the person is on the inside, what they are on the outside should never matter. Cheers.
Vertex Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 I'm white and I've dated mainly white or Asian women. Lately it's been geared more towards the Asian side (but this might be because I have a lot of Asia-centric interests).
You'reasian Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Of asiatic descent I've dated white, asian, latin, middle eastern and interracial.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 for those black women who this applies to, the reason perhaps is lack of exposure and fear of disapproval from the black community. my reason was just lack of exposure and that i love black men still. ---> so to answer your next question , the "IT" question...i said that because the last non-black guy(s) i dated held my interest a greater deal, than the black americans i dated. i have dated black guys from other countries and they too held my interest, but were too controlling. so maybe i just really take to men of other cultures...not other races...? i enjoy spending time with men who are well rounded and who have a swagger about them that says they're confident and one that makes me feel safe in their presence. Give it up for us white guys!!!!!
allina Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 If he is Indian and the oldest son he will be expected to move his parents in with you. No, not really, things no longer work like this among Indian families, especially educated, westernized ones. Thankfully
taiko Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 No, not really, things no longer work like this among Indian families, especially educated, westernized ones. Thankfully Really, I got a friend in North Carolina who talks about his sub division with a large South Asian population, where the homes are built with two master bedrooms on different floors. One for the grandparents, the other for the son and his wife.
allina Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Really, I got a friend in North Carolina who talks about his sub division with a large South Asian population, where the homes are built with two master bedrooms on different floors. One for the grandparents, the other for the son and his wife. I'm not saying that there aren't some old school, traditional people out there. People from all part of the world used to live the way you describe and many hold on to the tradition. I'm only speaking from my experience. My bf is Indian, and the oldest son, he and his brother moved out to go to college and lived on their own since. No one in his family has or will bring a spouse back to the mother's house when they marry.
vonerik012 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 I'm not saying that there aren't some old school, traditional people out there. People from all part of the world used to live the way you describe and many hold on to the tradition. I'm only speaking from my experience. My bf is Indian, and the oldest son, he and his brother moved out to go to college and lived on their own since. No one in his family has or will bring a spouse back to the mother's house when they marry. Well then this would be a rare exception. Usually I have seen Indian couples finish grad school, start working, buy a larger home, AND THEN move the mom into their home. I have yet to ever see a young Indian couple living WITHOUT one of their moms, Dads etc. But then again it is also common for them to date Americans until it is time for marriage and something serious, when they switch to a nice Indian girl.
taiko Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Well then this would be a rare exception. Usually I have seen Indian couples finish grad school, start working, buy a larger home, AND THEN move the mom into their home. I have yet to ever see a young Indian couple living WITHOUT one of their moms, Dads etc. But then again it is also common for them to date Americans until it is time for marriage and something serious, when they switch to a nice Indian girl. That's my understanding too. While he may be a boyfriend the family and nationalistic desire to protect Hinduism, Sikhism and other mostly Indian specific cultural things means that while the boys will play with the outsider in the end folks from South Asia are among the least likely to take that step and marry outside of their culture. Anyone in a cross cultural relationship is a minority, Indians who do it, atleast in North America, seem to be a micro minority.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 .. and we all know how our sweet LS Moderators hate them. Nah, they like them just fine. Racist talk can run rampant. Now sarcasm, now that is just frowned upon. Racism is ok here.
allina Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Well then this would be a rare exception. Usually I have seen Indian couples finish grad school, start working, buy a larger home, AND THEN move the mom into their home. I have yet to ever see a young Indian couple living WITHOUT one of their moms, Dads etc. But then again it is also common for them to date Americans until it is time for marriage and something serious, when they switch to a nice Indian girl. Ok, well thanks for sharing your experience, wherever it comes from. While I think taking an elderly parent in instead of dumping them in an old folks home is a honorable option, I do not know any Indian couples (mixed or not, yes I know both types) who have this sort of living arrangement. My experience is based on people I know in San Francisco/Silicon Valley and most importantly my bf, his family and my family
vonerik012 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Well as TAIKO alluded to, Indian men play around until it is time to get married. Actually all men do. I guess the difference is they KNOW ahead of time they will not marry that American girl. I seriously doubt you have never met an Indian couple with that living arrangement, as it is EXTREMELY common. Would you be opposed to his mother, and/or rest of family moving in?
allina Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Well as TAIKO alluded to, Indian men play around until it is time to get married. Actually all men do. I guess the difference is they KNOW ahead of time they will not marry that American girl. I seriously doubt you have never met an Indian couple with that living arrangement, as it is EXTREMELY common. Would you be opposed to his mother, and/or rest of family moving in? Maybe I have met people who had this living arrangement, I don't know, I don't know the living arrangement of everyone I meet. I suppose I should have been more specific and said that the couples I know:rolleyes: What I do know is that my bf's parents have always lived separate from their parents after marriage and that his parents do not plan on living with us, ever. Of course depending on their health/age this can change because his parents, like mine, would be welcome in our home.
Author muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 Well as TAIKO alluded to, Indian men play around until it is time to get married. Actually all men do. I guess the difference is they KNOW ahead of time they will not marry that American girl. ...so what is it about american women, that makes some men of other ethinicities not desire marriage with many of us? i've heard this of some indian, hispanic, and african men. i'm truly curious. i've heard that they think that we american women try or are too independent and therefor will not "submit" as easily. also, do they assume that the majority of american women are just crazy sex fiends...(ridiculous, but...)
allina Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 ...so what is it about american women, that makes some men of other ethinicities not desire marriage with many of us? i've heard this of some indian, hispanic, and african men. i'm truly curious. i've heard that they think that we american women try or are too independent and therefor will not "submit" as easily. also, do they assume that the majority of american women are just crazy sex fiends...(ridiculous, but...) I'm not really American, I moved here from Europe when I was 9. But, what I have heard was that American women are very self indulgent and often lack a certain sophistication that makes them wife material. Also, there is the opinion out there that American woman tend to throw themselves at men too much, then push for commitment, then push for marriage etc. These aren't my opinions just stereotypes I've heard.
vonerik012 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I think it is as simple as people choosing to preserve their race/culture/religion/ ethnicity. That seems normal to me. Some poor people from other countries come to America to make money. The rich from other nations do not. They do not come here to submerge themselves in our culture and breed inter racially.
taiko Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 I'm not really American, I moved here from Europe when I was 9. But, what I have heard was that American women are very self indulgent and often lack a certain sophistication that makes them wife material. Also, there is the opinion out there that American woman tend to throw themselves at men too much, then push for commitment, then push for marriage etc. These aren't my opinions just stereotypes I've heard. I agree somewhat it not specifically American. It is any woman of an outside cultiure, nationality, religion or even social class. If you make yourself available a man will take. But with closed societies/religions he will dump the girlfriend when it comes time to take a proper wife. He could be Chinese, Filipino, Indian, Saudi etc. If its there for the taking few men can remain pure nomatter how devout to race, religion or society.
Author muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 I'm not really American, I moved here from Europe when I was 9. But, what I have heard was that American women are very self indulgent and often lack a certain sophistication that makes them wife material. Also, there is the opinion out there that American woman tend to throw themselves at men too much, then push for commitment, then push for marriage etc. These aren't my opinions just stereotypes I've heard. interesting...very! never heard of the "throwing themselves at men" stereotype, but the self-indulgence part does sound pretty familiar. however, i don't see that as being negative at all...once you marry and start a family there will be less and less self-indelgence and we often loose ourselves quickly (in many senses of the word "loose") for the simple fact that "we" give so much during the time of marriage and especially parenting.
vonerik012 Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Throwing themselves at men? lol If anything I heard American women are colder and more aloof... If you want easy sex go to Europe, not the USA, lol.
taiko Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 interesting...very! never heard of the throwing themselves at men stereotype, but the self-indulgence part does sound pretty familiar. however, i don't see that as being negative at all...once you marry and start a family there will be less and less self-indelgence and we often loose ourselves quickly (in many senses of the word loose for the simple fact that we give so much during the time of marriage and especially parenting. I guess it happened because the thread started shifting to Indians specifically. Without the normal social/family ties and little fear of what used to be called a shotgun wedding is there any wonder why an outsider would be the playmate of choice. Choose a girl from the community you have your fun but potentially the family suffers. Back to India specific, remember their actors can't even kiss its considered porn and adultery.
Author muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 Throwing themselves at men? lol If anything I heard American women are colder and more aloof... If you want easy sex go to Europe, not the USA, lol. thank you vonerik! i was about to ask allina who she's been talking to or what she's been reading or is she just HATING...lol. i know for myself and sooo many american women. we are very cold and standoffish, in comparison to some. now allina may be getting our confidence confused with being "loose". i agree that we are pretty confident women generally speaking. that comes from HAVING to take responsibility for so much at such early ages in our lives in comparison to women if other cultures. e.g., many men and women in other cultures are encouraged to live at home longer. this is just one example. we american women do enough to know that we can survive, with or without a man beside us. however, my desire is to have a man to help share my load eventually. so far, i think i've done pretty darn good..."if i must say so myself". (hope i don't sound like i'm "throwing" myself at anyone...)
Author muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 I guess it happened because the thread started shifting to Indians specifically. Without the normal social/family ties and little fear of what used to be called a shotgun wedding is there any wonder why an outsider would be the playmate of choice. Choose a girl from the community you have your fun but potentially the family suffers. Back to India specific, remember their actors can't even kiss its considered porn and adultery. the actors can't kiss...ok...and? does that make them any more prudent than "u.s."(no pun intended)? what they do behind closed doors/off the screen may be far more wicked... hence, when dating americans "what you see is typically what you get"...however, men especially from other ethnicities end up being down right insane, or controlling or sex-crazed. i'm speaking from experience, btw
trubella Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 i've heard that they think that we american women try or are too independent and therefor will not "submit" as easily. this is a trend i noticed while living in europe, even with my current bf who is eastern european, in his culture women are expected to take care of the children, cook, clean and submit to their husbands. men are the dominant types/providers while the women are there to cater and stay home most of the time. if women were to work it cant get in the way of taking care of the family. when he moved here to america 8 yrs ago, he noticed the mentality of women is a bit different, alot more independent compared to women in his country. he stills holds onto that belief even with the culture shock of moving here, but i dont begrudge him of that, its what he was born into. alot of european men definitely hold that view of women here though.
Author muse08 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 this is a trend i noticed while living in europe, even with my current bf who is eastern european, in his culture women are expected to take care of the children, cook, clean and submit to their husbands. men are the dominant types/providers while the women are there to cater and stay home most of the time. if women were to work it cant get in the way of taking care of the family. when he moved here to america 8 yrs ago, he noticed the mentality of women is a bit different, alot more independent compared to women in his country. he stills holds onto that belief even with the culture shock of moving here, but i dont begrudge him of that, its what he was born into. yeah. i feel you on that. two africans i dated had that mentality, but we couldn't come to a common ground. sounds like you have a decent understanding of him and i'm sure he appreciates it. do you think you may end up marrying a european? just curious...
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