alwayssme Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 im confused...how do you fall out of love with someone after being with them for so long? i understand when u first meet a person and u reject them saying "sorry i don't like you like that" but when you're with that person for so long and told them you loved them? how do you stop even LIKING them in that way? can someone please help me understand? why would someone fall out of love??? its so hurtful how can i trust again?
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Trusting again is hard. But, you can't let that stop you from meeting other people, and trusting them! If you have trust issues in a relationship, and bring them to the next one, it will only cause problems. This I know from personal experience. How will learning to trust again come about? You'll meet the right person one day I think. He'll catch you off guard, you wont have time to think if you trust him or not. You'll just fall for him. Love is a funny thing. It seems like it just... happens sometimes. You're not looking for it, not expecting it, but it just shows up, there you are, in love. How can a person fall out of love you ask? I think its something that happens over time. I think you can fight it, the power of the mind is incredible, and I think you can convince yourself to keep loving someone, no matter what, if you have the will power. But... the thing is, most of us don't have that will power, and with good reason, sometimes its better to move on. So you start falling out of love. You don't change it. You fall out of love a little more, each day theres a bit less left. You still love the person, but its diminishing. Then one fine day - we walk away. What provokes this walking away? I think it varies from person to person. My ex? He needed to meet another girl to date before he could walk away, he did not want to face being alone. But it changes from person to person.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I guess I should mention that... we don't fall out of love at the same pace. If we did, breakups would be a lot easier. But we don't. So someone always gets left behind. I used to think... right after my ex left me for another woman... "well I met a lot of guys I could have gone after, but I didn't I was stronger than him (my ex)". The truth is, I met a lot of guys and allowed myself to entertain the idea of being with them, I had emotional relationships with these guys. My ex had an emotional affair and moved on. I had emotional affairs and stayed with my man. Who was the better person? I don't think thats a fair question to ask. All there is now is understanding. We gave what we gave. Eventually, things had to come to and end. We laughed, we smiled, we had amazing moments, we loved. But thats all past tense. Today? We're moving on.
Katherineos123 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 All there is now is understanding. We gave what we gave. Eventually, things had to come to and end. We laughed, we smiled, we had amazing moments, we loved. But thats all past tense. Today? We're moving on. So true, yet so hard to come to terms with. Always, it hasnt been that long since you and your ex split. I know that this has probably been the longest two months of your life, but in reality two months is just two months. You have to give yourself time to heal and mourn the loss of this relationship. Once you have done that, you will be able to trust again. In the meantime, just do you.
Author alwayssme Posted October 20, 2008 Author Posted October 20, 2008 definetely the longest two months...i'll think of something that has happened recently and be like "that was LAST WEEK?" it feels like so long ago! but yet my break-up feels like it just happened yesterday! i guess everyone's situation is different and mine could be worse but it's bad enough already. ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never thought he would "fall out of love" with me! its not fair at all, i know its not his fault but this is so hurtful towards me. i would feel so hurt if i ever made someone go through so much pain!!! he should have never told me he loved me and all these things if one day he was going to break my heart...
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