Stephen09 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Ok, so i'm doing really well from being away from her so far. But i'm thinking about her a little now. I need advice on some things to keep my mind off of her (or how y'all coped and surpassed the thought of your lover). When i find myself thinking about wanting her i usually think of the fights and unhappiness we had but it's starting not to work anymore. ANY suggestions will help! Thanks!
BubblyPopcorn Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Lets see, my first LTR in my early twenties, that was a tough one because it was a first love, we we're eachother's best friends and there was no real reason for us to break-up except that we were both young and inexperienced. It was difficult too because we both wanted to remain in each other's lives and we did for a good period but that just made it harder. The final push was when he started dating someone new, he eventually moved on so that forced me too. Then I was in a LTR with someone for several years, he cheated and it took a long time to recover emotionally, but it was easier in the sense where I could "force" myself to move on, not have any contact with him, etc. because the cheating factor was the nail in the coffin for me. I spent a lot of time with my friends, going out, focusing on myself, etc. so it's always different for everyone, factors in the RL and why it ended, etc.
norajane Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Best thing to do is to focus on your own life. All this time and energy you are wasting thinking about your ex is just that, wasted time and energy you will NEVER get back to live over again. Don't let your ex take more of your life away from you - your ex isn't wasting this much energy thinking about you!! It's your life, so LIVE it. Spend time with your friends and family. Go out and do things you enjoy. Go for a bike ride. Change the oil in your car. Clear your house out of any and all reminders of your ex and just dump them in the trash. Go shopping and buy some new clothes...you probably need a wardrobe update. Is there something you're interested in, but never found the time to try? Teach yourself to play guitar, or take some lessons. Join a gym or get some weights at home, and turn your body into a lean, mean, muscley machine. Learn html. Plan a dream trip and go on vacation. Your life should be about YOU and what is good for you. The ex is in the past and no longer your concern.
Zorie Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I resorted to all sorts of stuff when I was initially getting over my ex. Anytime a thought of my ex popped into my head I basically "told" the thoughts to STOP and GET OUT! lol yeah I felt like a crazy person but it worked and after a while the thoughts were less and less I also journaled alot and took up a boxing class which was not only great stress relief but I started to feel so much better about myself that I started to realize that my ex was not worth any additional thoughts or energy. Meditation helped too, I downloaded some guided meditations and listened to them before bed which helped me clear my mind. The thoughts seem to get worse if you allow them to take over your mind, I know it sucks when you are hurting but you will start to feel better as time passes. And yes keep yourself busy go out and surround yourself with people do things you enjoy to distract you from having those thoughts creep up. good luck!
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