Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Hello everyone, I have been having a long moment of weakness today, and I just wanted to walk up to my ex and hold her, kiss her, tell her I love her, and tell her how much I miss her. And or I have been wanting to send her an e-mail just telling her how much I love her and how important she was to me and that I miss her, even though I know on my end the relationship is 100% over even if she did feel the same way I guess I just want to get it off my chest. I am sure I already know what the advice will look like but please let me know how you all feel about this... Do I send the e-mail or not?
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I think maybe writing the e-mail, but never sending it, is the best decision. I totally understand why you want to send it - to just let it all out. It does not matter if it repulses them or not anymore, because its just about, saying what you need to say. I advise against that though, telling them, because even if you right now feel that you expect nothing from her, the act of putting yourself out there will still hurt you. If she doesn't respond, maybe you'll wonder if she even got the e-mail, you'll start to try to rationalize what has happened with regards to the e-mail. If you need to let it out, just write the e-mail but don't give it to her, OR post it here, OR if you need to just send it somewhere, you can always send it to me... if that would help? I don't know... but I understand your inclination towards needing to just let it out.
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 I think maybe writing the e-mail, but never sending it, is the best decision. I totally understand why you want to send it - to just let it all out. It does not matter if it repulses them or not anymore, because its just about, saying what you need to say. I advise against that though, telling them, because even if you right now feel that you expect nothing from her, the act of putting yourself out there will still hurt you. If she doesn't respond, maybe you'll wonder if she even got the e-mail, you'll start to try to rationalize what has happened with regards to the e-mail. If you need to let it out, just write the e-mail but don't give it to her, OR post it here, OR if you need to just send it somewhere, you can always send it to me... if that would help? I don't know... but I understand your inclination towards needing to just let it out. Awwww that is sooo sweet, maybe I will send it to you. I would know however if she got it or not as we do still live together for at least the next month or two. Good advice, Thanks!
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Well you're 9 posts away from PM priviledges, then I can send you my e-mail , if you decide to go with that option! But yeah, say what you need to say, don't bottle it up, but don't send it to her either. Its so rough you still have to live with her. You're doing well being strong
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Wait! I already says you're an established member! Nvm about the 9 posts, I'm insane
Nemo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 , I'm insane You have a great sense of self-awareness.
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 Yeah I can send and receive pm's
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 You have a great sense of self-awareness. Thank you so much for making me laugh!
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 You have a great sense of self-awareness. NEMO! You are such a little bully ;p Rawrawrawrawr. Having PM powers is nice huh?
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 NEMO! You are such a little bully ;p Rawrawrawrawr. Having PM powers is nice huh? It would have been really nice when I first joined the site and I wanted to pm someone, but since then I have not had much of a need for it.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I think its nice having now... I guess I don't need to PM people for help, but if people ever need me I don't mind PMing them over small stuff. You doing a bit better now Konfuzion? ;p Now that you can just chat on LS? Its so therapeutic for me ;p posting on this thread makes me less shakey even ;p
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 I think its nice having now... I guess I don't need to PM people for help, but if people ever need me I don't mind PMing them over small stuff. You doing a bit better now Konfuzion? ;p Now that you can just chat on LS? Its so therapeutic for me ;p posting on this thread makes me less shakey even ;p Yes this site is a god send... Just reading other peoples problems and trying to advise them makes you realize that your not alone or even that others have it worse... Not that I would wish this on anyone.
FF84 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Write it out and post it here or send it to someone - but not to your ex. I sent my ex several very long emotional emails after she left me. I felt good to get my feelings and thoughts down but she ended up getting pushed further and further away. Furthermore, i read the emails back that i sent to her and they don't make sense now. That was what i felt at the time, but not now. So don't bottle up the confusion, but don't let your ex know about it. These feelings and thoughts pass and change every day. I'm actually keeping a journal now which only i can see, and it helps, but it's strange how i change from day to day.
Hersheys Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Hi Konfuzion! It's normal what you're feeling right now. We all go through weak days. I had a moment of weakness months ago and broke NC with my ex. I regret doing that. If only I held on and maintained NC, I could have been well on my way to recovery and healing at this time. It's understandable that you want to write and send her a letter because there's so much inner dialogue (mostly about our ex's) going on inside our heads. You can write a letter but you might want to think a couple more times first before you send it to your ex. Your ex may or may not give you a response. Of course, you will hope and wait for a response. You have to be ready for anything or nothing at all.
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 This whole thing is bothering me still today. I guess I have always felt from day one that we were supposed to be together and none of this makes any sense to me. Of course I have never felt like this about anyone before.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 This whole thing is bothering me still today. I guess I have always felt from day one that we were supposed to be together and none of this makes any sense to me. Of course I have never felt like this about anyone before. Honestly, just write your emotions into a letter you wont send. I think, if you really truly feel that one day you were supposed to be together... well as I'm sure you know, you can only really get that if you go NC and heal. While you're going NC, you can find ways to improve on yourself, and start feeling happy again. I really really believe, if people can just, become strong and sexy and loveable again, their ex's will want them back. The problem really is.. stuff happens while we heal. We meet new people, we learn to love others, the ex comes back, but were in a new situation, or maybe they're in a situation they're unsure about... If you want that second chance... you have to just dive into the paradox I'm writing about... Getting over someone and moving on to get them back. But the thing is, you can't hold out for them coming back, because thats cheating, and it won't work out if you hold on too long. You just need to let go entirely and release yourself from wanting them back, and only then someday a fresh relationship with that person is plausible... but likelyhood is you'll both be with different people then. Its a gamble I guess, a crazy one, but its the best chance you've got. Sorry for rambling on your page Konfuzion - I'm just trying to show you the best way to be happy again, or what I believe is the best way ;p
Eve Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 guess I have always felt from day one that we were supposed to be together and none of this makes any sense to me. Of course I have never felt like this about anyone before. Awww.. *Hugs* .. I know that you are probably not there yet but .. you will have opportunity to love again. I go with the writing the email and posting it onsite or to someone you trust idea.
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 Honestly, just write your emotions into a letter you wont send. I think, if you really truly feel that one day you were supposed to be together... well as I'm sure you know, you can only really get that if you go NC and heal. While you're going NC, you can find ways to improve on yourself, and start feeling happy again. I really really believe, if people can just, become strong and sexy and loveable again, their ex's will want them back. The problem really is.. stuff happens while we heal. We meet new people, we learn to love others, the ex comes back, but were in a new situation, or maybe they're in a situation they're unsure about... If you want that second chance... you have to just dive into the paradox I'm writing about... Getting over someone and moving on to get them back. But the thing is, you can't hold out for them coming back, because thats cheating, and it won't work out if you hold on too long. You just need to let go entirely and release yourself from wanting them back, and only then someday a fresh relationship with that person is plausible... but likelyhood is you'll both be with different people then. Its a gamble I guess, a crazy one, but its the best chance you've got. Sorry for rambling on your page Konfuzion - I'm just trying to show you the best way to be happy again, or what I believe is the best way ;p Your not rambling, your advice is spot on and I would follow it 100% but we still live together so NC isnt an option right now. I guess also I didn't specify what is confusing me about the whole "I guess I have always felt from day one that we were supposed to be together and none of this makes any sense to me." is that I still feel that way but I don't think I could ever forgive her for what has happened. So I don't understand how I could be meant to be with someone and on the other hand be unable to be with them.... Let me take it back real quick... Back before I met my ex everyone knew I was soooooo happily single and had no desire to ever be in a relationship... And then I saw my ex... I grabed my friends arm that was with me at the time and I said "OH SH**, I am going to marry that girl" and he almost fell over, and her and I have been together ever since untill now. And I have moved on in life, and have been bettering myself. I am actually dating a beautiful girl right now (I am so not worthy, and this is a j/k I know I am worthy). But the whole conection and feeling of meant to be together has me so lost. Awww.. *Hugs* .. I know that you are probably not there yet but .. you will have opportunity to love again. I go with the writing the email and posting it onsite or to someone you trust idea. Yeah I think I am going to put the letter together and post it here, just to get my thoughts out into the universe.
Author Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 I should add to the self improvement thing. 8 Years back I use to be a fireman and I had a body to die for (8% body fat and cut up like Bruce Lee), I worked very hard at having it. Well 8 years ago I broke my back and I could no longer exercise like I had been, and I also had to find a new career. Well after 8 years I am back to jogging and lifting weights and I am already 100% happier with my body than I have been in the last 8 years.
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