I'm 29 and still don't have a Master's degree! Is it too late?

[Suonarelamusica]

I'm 29 years old and really want badly to have a career, and I would like to go to graduate school, but I am so scared that it's too late. I realize that technically a graduate school might accept someone of my age, but that at 29 I would be in a sea of 21-22-year olds, and I would feel like the "grandma" of the class. I guess that that would be better than simply NEVER going to graduate school, but I worry that my age would be a detriment to my getting accepted. Discrimination, ostensibly, is illegal but there's no way to guarantee that it won't happen to me, and I'm behind everyone else (most people have their master's by my age).

The trouble is, that if I pursue a Master's degree then by the time I finish it I'll probably be too old to get married and have children!

 

My heart is breaking, because I want a career but I also want to have a husband and children of my own, and I should have had those things sooner, but it didn't work out, and now I'm running out of time.

 

There is no guy in my life right now, and I've had no luck finding one, but if I were to marry, then I don't see how I could go to graduate school. I could be wrong but I worry that getting married would shut the door on higher education for me.

 

However, I want BADLY to have a profession. I graduated with a degree in Spanish and got a job as a translator in a law firm, and I HATED it. I realize that I'm behind and that I should have a master's and I should be married and have children, but I was on the wrong track for a long time. For years, I'd been planning on being an attorney and going to law school, but a series of experiences my last year of college and my first year out in the real world opened up my eyes to the fact that that would be a wrong move.

 

Now I'm adrift and not sure what to do... I feel ashamed of not having a profession and really want one, but it was a lot of upheaval after I'd planned my future for years and then lost all enthusiasm for it.

 

I don't want to go back to law school, and be an attorney, I'm definitely in the wrong field now, and right now I am in the process of changing careers. I'm studying a certificate to teach English as a foreign language... it's not a masters just certification. The reason I'm doing it is because I want to live abroad again. I studied abroad in Mexico when I was a senior in college and thought that I would get it all out of my system, but now I'm more restless than ever and I feel like I need to have another adventure or I'll just explode.

 

If I were to go to grad school I would rather go abroad, because I really loved living abroad. Also, I want to return to Latin America (where I studied) because I have a better chance of finding a husband there. There are latin men at my church but they seem to be "taken."

 

My mom keeps telling me to be a dental hygienist, because the benefits are good, but I would HATE it. I don't want to spend the next 40 years doing something my heart's not in. I don't want to be miserable.

 

If you're 29 years old, or 30, or older, how big of a detriment is age if you want to enroll in graduate school?

What do you do when you planned a particular profession all your life, and then have an epiphany and realize it's not for you (as in my case, where I decided not to be a lawyer, and now I'm totally lost as to what to do), and realize that time is running out?

 

How do you decide between having a family of your own and a career?

I feel so torn!

 

I'm panicking because I realize that if I want a master's that I'm running out of time, and I'm not even sure what I would want to do. Regardless of what people tell me, I would hate being a dental hygienist or a nurse. No offense to anyone who does those things but it's not for me. I'd rather butcher pigs. Ditto for going back to law school and being an attorney. I don't want to butcher pigs, for that matter.

 

I just want to be happy but scared that it's too late!

 

I've been feeling very sad lately because nearly everyone that went to my junior high and my high school is already married and has children of their own.

 

I don't want to choose between being never having a family, and never having the education I dreamed of.

 

If you can help me, thank you.

[Nemo]

I'd forget it, grandma, and get back to work. Grad school is for lazy people who don't want to do real work.

 

Anyway, one thing's for sure - don't be asking yourself this question again in 2 years' time. Or 4 years' time. By then, you could have gotten the darn piece of paper.

 

You might not be an intellectual, but you can still make a useful contribution to society. By having a baby, or something like that.

 

Stop being picky, and settle for a half-decent guy. That's not too ugly. It can't be that hard, surely?!

[GPFan]

If you're 29 years old, or 30, or older, how big of a detriment is age if you want to enroll in graduate school?

Age is no detriment at all unless you make it one.

 

You would not be too old to start a family after graduating. Early- to mid-thirties is a great time to marry and start a family! To do both, however, may be too much of a strain on your time and resources. It may well be better to concentrate on one or the other.

 

Good luck and I wish you well.

[eatmydust87]

It's never too late to gain knowledge. My father has 2 masters degrees, the second of which he attained in his 40's. My mother also got her masters degree in her 40's. My mom did it with full custody of 2 kids, and a full-time job. From what I understand, age doesn't really matter for graduate school, they would rather you be older with life experience than younger straight out of undergrad.

[Tony T]

You should definitely go for your masters...it's certainly not too late. While you're in school, learn to express your thoughts more concisely, to the point, in readable brief prose. Less is more!

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

It sounds like you make some very high goals for yourself and then you have a hard time following.

 

I really don't believe everybody should have a Master's or that is any important.

 

Seems like you found what you like to do, and that is very important. That is to work abroad and do those kind of projects.

 

Good luck finding a good guy.

[Suonarelamusica]

I lived abroad and adjusted to the culture there, but when I returned to the states I had a really hard time readjusting. I realize that I never really had a sense of belonging in my own culture, and found the niche elsewhere.

[Dominique]

Calm down already. You have a terrible mindset.

 

This panic is neither going to get you a husband nor a steady career.

 

I do not know what cave you have been living in but people get advanced careers at all kinds of mature ages, as they want and will. There are no "grandmas" or "grandpas" in a classroom--if anything, the older people are admired for their life experience, maturity and desire to re-boot a bit in school. I know, I am a professor.

 

As for the husband--who is to say you would have found him at 21 or 25 and by the way--why marry so young when you have a sense of adventure in side and "unfinished business". To become divorced at 37?

 

As long as your body and looks do not go downhill through intelligent discipline and being very vain about your looks, you will be fine, you will always attract. PS the best men are attracted to looks and brains. So if you go for your degree you might find the man you love also studying for his degree, or you find him once you are in a nicer job. Chill, already.

 

I've attracted more men in my thirties than in my twenties...and, I'm well educated too.

 

And forget the "dental hygenist" business. Life has to be about far more than medical "benefits"

 

DOM

[Walk]

I started on my bachelors when I was 31, here you are worrying about a masters at 29.

 

Focus on doing the things that are going to make you happy in life. I've always found that when I'm happy and content in life, that I attract good people. It's how I met my H. I'd given up on the idea of relationships altogether and decided to just live life the way I wanted and do the things that made me happiest.. then suddenly, bam... great man pops up out of no where. And best yet... he actually encouraged me to keep focusing on the things that would make me happy (career I wanted, etc.). I'm just saying... there are people out there who won't make you choose between your dreams or them, and the best way to find them is by doing the things that make you feel good about yourself first.

[Geishawhelk]

You should definitely go for your masters...it's certainly not too late. While you're in school, learn to express your thoughts more concisely, to the point, in readable brief prose. Less is more!

 

:laugh:

 

Short, succinct and to the point!

[lovestruck818]

My aunt was 53 when she got her masters...

[Nemo]

My aunt was 53 when she got her masters...

Did it take her 33 years to graduate? Wow, now that's what I call dedication!

[pretty professional]

I wouldn't want a man who liked an extremely vain person, that would be so boring. Yawn.

 

Calm down already. You have a terrible mindset.

 

This panic is neither going to get you a husband nor a steady career.

 

I do not know what cave you have been living in but people get advanced careers at all kinds of mature ages, as they want and will. There are no "grandmas" or "grandpas" in a classroom--if anything, the older people are admired for their life experience, maturity and desire to re-boot a bit in school. I know, I am a professor.

 

As for the husband--who is to say you would have found him at 21 or 25 and by the way--why marry so young when you have a sense of adventure in side and "unfinished business". To become divorced at 37?

 

As long as your body and looks do not go downhill through intelligent discipline and being very vain about your looks, you will be fine, you will always attract. PS the best men are attracted to looks and brains. So if you go for your degree you might find the man you love also studying for his degree, or you find him once you are in a nicer job. Chill, already.

 

I've attracted more men in my thirties than in my twenties...and, I'm well educated too.

 

And forget the "dental hygenist" business. Life has to be about far more than medical "benefits"

 

DOM

[D-Lish]

Hey- it took me from 25-33 to complete two degrees. I am currently considering doing my MA as well (at 38).

 

You NEVER want to look back and regret anything. What if, in ten years you find yourself in a job you still hate and wish you could have followed your heart when the need struck you?

 

Do it, do your MA.

As for being single- geez.... what better place to meet sexy academics??

I had a hot TA finishing his Phd and he was about 31 at the time. He married a fellow Phd peer and now the two of them are Uni professors with two kids making a grand income.

 

Living the life of a student means being more frugal than you are used to... but the rewards will outweigh that temporary sacrifice.

 

Hey- I just lost everything- my business, my loft, my independance... I moved back home TO MY PARENTS HOUSE after taking a crack at being an entrepreneur (erm... at 38). My dad has been pushing me like crazy to take this opportunity to do my MA... My tuition would be partially handled because he has Tenor at a Canadian Uni. Sure- I will be at home for another few years. But... You only have ONE life. Make the most of it.

 

29 is Young. I went to Uni with plenty of mature students. Do what will make you happy. It's never too late... but I'd say you are in a perfect position right now.

 

Do it.

[jerbear]

Just do it!

 

I got my MS in my 30's and made another great group of friends.

[sunshinegirl]

I went back for my master's at 28.

 

Dominique said it well. You are panicking needlessly and creating a false sense of either/or.

[pretty professional]

I think if you want a Masters, go for it, but you don't seem to know what to do with it and even what your passion is. You seem to want a masters just for the "status" and being able to tell people you have your masters. You have stated you want to travel to Mexico and what have you, but you really haven't stated a passion for what you want to do with your life and how a Masters will help you better yourself (besides statuswise.) Like I said, you have no clear idea what you want to do. You state that you hated translating, then you go off on how you love Spanish and such and want to teach it, then you state I want a law degree but now I know I don't, you are just all over the place. You just want the status of a higher degree, you have no idea what you're going to do with it.

[D-Lish]

I think if you want a Masters, go for it, but you don't seem to know what to do with it and even what your passion is. You seem to want a masters just for the "status" and being able to tell people you have your masters. You have stated you want to travel to Mexico and what have you, but you really haven't stated a passion for what you want to do with your life and how a Masters will help you better yourself (besides statuswise.) Like I said, you have no clear idea what you want to do. You state that you hated translating, then you go off on how you love Spanish and such and want to teach it, then you state I want a law degree but now I know I don't, you are just all over the place. You just want the status of a higher degree, you have no idea what you're going to do with it.

 

Wow, I very rarely see you post anything positive to ANYONE.

 

I don't think it's about achieving status... it's about finishing something you've always wanted to do despite the obstacles or social barriers.

 

I am sure it has something to do with being a bit undecided... but anyone that has been through the academic institution will feel the pull to go back if they venture into life and find it even a smidgeon unsatisfactory.

 

If you have a degree... you will always wonder if you should have gone on... it is almost like "not following through".

 

She obviously loves school.... I say go back!

[sunshinegirl]

Wow, I very rarely see you post anything positive to ANYONE.

 

I don't think it's about achieving status... it's about finishing something you've always wanted to do despite the obstacles or social barriers.

 

I am sure it has something to do with being a bit undecided... but anyone that has been through the academic institution will feel the pull to go back if they venture into life and find it even a smidgeon unsatisfactory.

 

If you have a degree... you will always wonder if you should have gone on... it is almost like "not following through".

 

She obviously loves school.... I say go back!

 

But I think prettyprofessional has a very very good point here. I totally missed it in my earlier comment.

 

I didn't go back to grad school until I knew what I wanted to do and was completely and totally psyched to start that particular program. ie. I considered law school and business school and seminary but none of them really spoke to me...yet I had this vague sense that I wanted to go back for another degree. After some months, and various work experiences, international relations became very very interesting to me. And when I looked up the programs of various schools, I couldn't WAIT to get in the classroom and discuss, read, and write about those topics.

 

As a result, my grad school experience was totally worth it. I loved it, and am now doing work that is directly related to what I studied. Thank goodness I love what I do, because I also came out with a lot of debt that I am still paying off.

 

To the OP: my best advice is that you should not go back to grad school until you are excited about a particular direction or program. Otherwise you run the risk of NOT loving what you study, casting about while you are there to figure out what you "really" want to do, and graduating from a program with debt and feeling "stuck" in a profession or job that you don't want to make a career of.

[pretty professional]

Sorry, D-Lish, but in today's economy, getting a degree just to get one really doesn't make a lot of sense. You can get a Masters but if it lands you living at your parents' at age 38 with no job....hmmm....I don't want to see this for this young lady.

[Dominique]

I wouldn't want a man who liked an extremely vain person, that would be so boring. Yawn.

 

 

Oh, honey....I assure you, there is nothing boring going on at all....

[Sarita12385]

I work for an online university, and I have students in their 40s and 50s just beginning their BACHELOR'S DEGREE, so no - you are not behind! 29 is NOTHING, really. Just calm down and take a breather

[sb129]

A Masters degree isn't an automatic ticket to a "career". I know plenty of people without a masters degree who have good careers, and a few people with Masters degress who have never worked in their field, yet are still paying off their loans.

 

I agree with SSG and others. While 29 is definitely NOT too late to start or continue a tertiary education, it could be a big waste of money and time if you are unsure of what path you want to take, and simply do a masters course for the sake of "having" a masters.

 

29 is also not too late to be panicking about not being married or with kids. I met my fiance the day after my 29th birthday.

 

I think you need to address the obvious inadequacy/ self esteem issues you have.

The only reason you feel the way you do is because you are comparing yourself to other people all the time, and thats a sign of low self esteem.

 

Work on that, and the other stuff will be much easier.

[Jilly Bean]

Sorry, D-Lish, but in today's economy, getting a degree just to get one really doesn't make a lot of sense. You can get a Masters but if it lands you living at your parents' at age 38 with no job....hmmm....I don't want to see this for this young lady.

 

Do you have issues with D-Lish because she's gorgeous, smart, educated and has options you may not? No reason to hate the pretty girl with a great family and great choices, really. Personally, I respect D for taking risks in her life. Pay attention Pretty - you could stand to learn a LOT from someone like D-Lish.

 

OP - I think education at any age is of value. Some careers really value advanced degrees like an MBA), while others (like a masters in communications), not so much. Still, I don't see how an advanced degree at ANY age would be a detriment to you professionally OR personally.

[woodsfield]

i was recently laid off from a Sawmill where fellow "layoffees" in their 40s and 50s are pondering trying to get their GED.

 

gimme a break, man; get your Masters already...

 

...if you can afford it.