What is this girl thinking??? Am I missing something?

[NoChance]

I apologize about the length of the story, but I can use any advice I can get right now.

 

About 4 years ago, in my first year of university, I met this girl Jess when her boyfriend (my good friend) Colin introduced me to her. Gorgeous beyond words without a spec of makeup (think a replica of Emmanuelle Chriqui), loves laughter and life, and witty intelligence I had never encountered in a girl.

 

We hit it off great, had amazing rapport and had a connection that I surely felt (Jess and I ended up in the same class unintentionally so we spent a lot of time together studying/chilling on campus without Colin), but she was dating my friend so it was friends zone, nothing more no matter what as me and Colin had been good friends for a while and it wasnt worth it to me.

 

Years past and Colin, Jess, myself and my girlfriend formed a tight group and became really close friends. However the group of 4 was constantly changing, with Colin, Jess, myself, remaining in it and my girlfriend at the time (many short relationships) always changing. Because of that the three of us got pretty close, and it became a running joke that Colin and Jess would find me a girl to complete our group.

 

But this year things have started to change. I was over at their place a few months ago as were several other of our friends. We were sitting, having drinks and talking and Jess who happened to be sitting beside me, put her hand on my inner thigh pretty close to my crotch. She just let it sit there like this was normal. I was so caught off guard I wasnt sure what to do ... any reaction could have been bad with how many people were around so I shrugged it off as she is just too comfortable with me and acted like I didnt even notice it. I figured no girl would do that in a dirty way with so many friends and her boyfriend in front of her (up until this day she has been all class).

 

So after shrugging that off, the 3 of us as well as many other friends went to a concert where everyone was drinking. On the way back in the taxi, Jess was the last one in, so she just opened the back door and squeezed in right beside me. Didnt plan it, but I ended up in the back besides Jess while Colin was in the front passenger seat. As the ride back home progressed Jess snuggled closer and closer to me. I did not push her away but I did not touch her with my hands either. She had her head on my shoulder and was pretty much on top of me to the point where the taxi driver probably thought we were a couple. The whole way back was weird for me so I cant imagine what Colin was thinking. At the time I just played it off as a combination of her being tired and drinking and just wanting be comfortable in a uncomfortable taxi. The weird thing was despite how close me and Jess have been before, she has never been the touchy feely type.

 

The next week I came over, it was clear Jess and Colin had just been fighting. I could be wrong, but I have a hunch Colin confronted Jess about me and she told him something, or Colin thinks Jess is attracted to me when she really isnt, because since then Colin's attitute seems to gotten very cold to me or at least awkward. I honestly dont even know how Jess feels or what is going on, all I know is that my group of friends is now ruined. What is this girl doing? I'm not even sure if she realizes how her actions are being intrepreted/misintreprted. Am I over reacting? Is this a fixable situation? I havent done anything wrong, but I can see why Colin would be like wtf is going on right in front of me.

 

Thanks

[juliemanooli]

I apologize about the length of the story, but I can use any advice I can get right now.

 

About 4 years ago, in my first year of university, I met this girl Jess when her boyfriend (my good friend) Colin introduced me to her. Gorgeous beyond words without a spec of makeup (think a replica of Emmanuelle Chriqui), loves laughter and life, and witty intelligence I had never encountered in a girl.

 

We hit it off great, had amazing rapport and had a connection that I surely felt (Jess and I ended up in the same class unintentionally so we spent a lot of time together studying/chilling on campus without Colin), but she was dating my friend so it was friends zone, nothing more no matter what as me and Colin had been good friends for a while and it wasnt worth it to me.

 

Years past and Colin, Jess, myself and my girlfriend formed a tight group and became really close friends. However the group of 4 was constantly changing, with Colin, Jess, myself, remaining in it and my girlfriend at the time (many short relationships) always changing. Because of that the three of us got pretty close, and it became a running joke that Colin and Jess would find me a girl to complete our group.

 

But this year things have started to change. I was over at their place a few months ago as were several other of our friends. We were sitting, having drinks and talking and Jess who happened to be sitting beside me, put her hand on my inner thigh pretty close to my crotch. She just let it sit there like this was normal. I was so caught off guard I wasnt sure what to do ... any reaction could have been bad with how many people were around so I shrugged it off as she is just too comfortable with me and acted like I didnt even notice it. I figured no girl would do that in a dirty way with so many friends and her boyfriend in front of her (up until this day she has been all class).

 

So after shrugging that off, the 3 of us as well as many other friends went to a concert where everyone was drinking. On the way back in the taxi, Jess was the last one in, so she just opened the back door and squeezed in right beside me. Didnt plan it, but I ended up in the back besides Jess while Colin was in the front passenger seat. As the ride back home progressed Jess snuggled closer and closer to me. I did not push her away but I did not touch her with my hands either. She had her head on my shoulder and was pretty much on top of me to the point where the taxi driver probably thought we were a couple. The whole way back was weird for me so I cant imagine what Colin was thinking. At the time I just played it off as a combination of her being tired and drinking and just wanting be comfortable in a uncomfortable taxi. The weird thing was despite how close me and Jess have been before, she has never been the touchy feely type.

 

The next week I came over, it was clear Jess and Colin had just been fighting. I could be wrong, but I have a hunch Colin confronted Jess about me and she told him something, or Colin thinks Jess is attracted to me when she really isnt, because since then Colin's attitute seems to gotten very cold to me or at least awkward. I honestly dont even know how Jess feels or what is going on, all I know is that my group of friends is now ruined. What is this girl doing? I'm not even sure if she realizes how her actions are being intrepreted/misintreprted. Am I over reacting? Is this a fixable situation? I havent done anything wrong, but I can see why Colin would be like wtf is going on right in front of me.

 

Thanks

 

 

 

 

NoChance, I hate to say this, but she sounds like trouble.

 

Although this girl sounds amazing (i even googled her replica), she is slowly breaking the friendship zone, and that could potentially lead to even bigger problems between you and Colin. I suggest you talk to him to clear things up. the fact that you didnt push her away leads him to thinking that maybe there is something between you two. Maybe once you two talk, he will have a better understanding of both sides. Now.. about jess.. She is causing a lot of mess, but i'm not sure what she wants based on her actions. She just seems like a big flirt to me. Maybe she just recently grew feelings towards you? Whatever the case, it is still wrong for her to do things like that. You are being too nice to her. Do you like her like that? Was the only thing stopping you from making a move was Colin?

[Federica]

Please don't cut and paste the whole post over again. Especially if it's very long.... Relevant bits can be used, or if you're the next (first or second) respondent, there's no point.

 

Thanks guys!!