alwayssme Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 2 months and it still hurts. everywhere else in my life i'm doing good. i have a job, great friends, good family, bla bla bla...and i am dating, going out so i don't stay at home and go crazy...yet it still hurts, i still miss him, i still want him back...i truly love him and it feels like i will never get over him...i'm at home waiting for my date (who seems like a cool guy) and i'm on LS talking about my ex...this sucks! i wish i could escape somewhere but everywhere i go he's on my head...we're still friends and that's the ONLY thing that makes me not go crazy...i couldn't handle losing him! i'm so torn, i lost 20 lbs, and i just can't function...i have other guys liking me and my ex always told me i'm beautiful and bla bla bla so my self-esteem shouldn't be low...yet it is...but even after hanging out with friends and having other people wanting to be with me...i'm empty...how can i feel so empty because HE is not here? if things are okay in other aspects of my life... and every sad song feels like it was written for me...last night my friend kissed me and told me i'm so dumb for loving someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore and that i should give HIM a chance because he would make me happy...he said "u must really enjoy misery" and i don't know...i felt even worse, cause here i am with someone wanting to be with me and i'm still hurting over my ex! it's not fair...it wasn't meant to happen like this i want HIM and only HIM...i think i am going crazy...i am dating people and "keeping myself busy" but it still hurts... last night i dreamed of kissing his lips and it felt so real..i woke up so so so sad...i don't even know how i got myself out of bed
UnamedSeven Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 2 months and it still hurts. everywhere else in my life i'm doing good. i have a job, great friends, good family, bla bla bla...and i am dating, going out so i don't stay at home and go crazy...yet it still hurts, i still miss him, i still want him back...i truly love him and it feels like i will never get over him...i'm at home waiting for my date (who seems like a cool guy) and i'm on LS talking about my ex...this sucks! i wish i could escape somewhere but everywhere i go he's on my head...we're still friends and that's the ONLY thing that makes me not go crazy...i couldn't handle losing him! i'm so torn, i lost 20 lbs, and i just can't function...i have other guys liking me and my ex always told me i'm beautiful and bla bla bla so my self-esteem shouldn't be low...yet it is...but even after hanging out with friends and having other people wanting to be with me...i'm empty...how can i feel so empty because HE is not here? if things are okay in other aspects of my life... and every sad song feels like it was written for me...last night my friend kissed me and told me i'm so dumb for loving someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore and that i should give HIM a chance because he would make me happy...he said "u must really enjoy misery" and i don't know...i felt even worse, cause here i am with someone wanting to be with me and i'm still hurting over my ex! it's not fair...it wasn't meant to happen like this i want HIM and only HIM...i think i am going crazy...i am dating people and "keeping myself busy" but it still hurts... last night i dreamed of kissing his lips and it felt so real..i woke up so so so sad...i don't even know how i got myself out of bed Its impossible to think when things like this happen. You just can't understand anyone or anything. If you really are still hurting over him, then tell him flat-out. Let him know that what he did to you, is ruining your entire life. If this doesn't have any effect whatsoever, then just not be his friend because the pain isn't worth it. I got dumped on (coincidently) 2 months ago just b/c she wanted to end everything. Yet, we never faught. I haven't seen her for 1.5 months and im still willing to bet that if i do see her somewhere, i will jump right back into loving her like i used to
Dmoney28 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Well depending on why you broke up, is there any chance of you guys getting back together? Does he feel the same way about you? Here some advice....dont get into another relationship, or lead someone on your dating...if you still love your ex. Take some more personal time to gather your thought about what you really want. Dont rush into anything til your sure exactly what you want....i feel your pain. I cant even dance with girls at the clubs without missing my ex like crazy.
Author alwayssme Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 no, there are no chances of us getting back together, that's the worst part i know i love him but i have always been "strong" and now I feel almost ashamed for hurting this much, i don't understand why am I getting repaid like this for simply being in love? I know I made mistakes but not for all this. I see him in every guy I look at. And like I said it's not about being needy of affection because I have the chance to have that with other people. I go out, I live my life BUT i miss him...this is the first time i'm going through this, understand i wanted (and still wish i could ) spend the rest of my life with this man. this wasn't a game for me and i thought we were on the same page but apparently we weren't. this wasn't a break-up with just my "boyfriend"...i lost the one i loved with all my heart and it's shattered my heart. Anyone else feel like this? I know there's not much I can do except for let time pass and bla bla...but it's been 2 months and it's not getting any better...i feel like even if one day i move on with someone new, i will always love my ex...honestly i don't know how i will get over him, it seems like this will never end
MichiganMan222 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I think I'm gonna be like that. I tried dating and it made it worse. It made me miss her more. Should've been her sitting across that table and no one else. I hate it just like you do. Its only been a short time and we ended on a good note. The only saving grace I have that i cling on to is the possibility that she could very well be feeling the same way as I am about me. Throughout she maintained that she loved me and always will, that this whole thing sucks (but its necessary to her), that it is tearing her to pieces, and that she knows she can't handle a new relationship anytime soon. I hate missing, worrying, wondering. It sucks ass. I just wish I could take a pill to be out of love. And when it wears off, love someone that wants me and my flaws.
EmperorR Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I know how it feels almost been two months yet I still miss and love her even though she was a cheat and kicked me to thE curb. At least nc seems to be working one day I hope to get out of this situation
Katherineos123 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I feel for you. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and even though Im begining to truly heal, I still think of him every single day... But I can assure you that even though you dont feel like it now, you WILL feel better soon. And like you said, you very well may always love this person, but you wont always pine for them. Now, you said that there is no chance for recconciliation here, yet, I feel as though if you and him are in good enough standings to be friends so quickly after a break up, then there are still warm feelings there, and where there are still warm feelings there are still fond memories, and so on. So I feel as though if you two can be friends with each other, then a second chance isnt impossible. How close are you two? Why do you think recconciliation is unlikely? Does he know how you feel?
Author alwayssme Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 I feel for you. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and even though Im begining to truly heal, I still think of him every single day... But I can assure you that even though you dont feel like it now, you WILL feel better soon. And like you said, you very well may always love this person, but you wont always pine for them. Now, you said that there is no chance for recconciliation here, yet, I feel as though if you and him are in good enough standings to be friends so quickly after a break up, then there are still warm feelings there, and where there are still warm feelings there are still fond memories, and so on. So I feel as though if you two can be friends with each other, then a second chance isnt impossible. How close are you two? Why do you think recconciliation is unlikely? Does he know how you feel? well our relationship wasn't always perfect, we argued alot and eventually he stopped having feelings for me in that way...he knows how i feel and wants to stick with his decision, and that's the worst part...even knowing all this i still love him, it's so unfair! i think i'm still in shock because i would have never expected this to happen and i don't know what could make me feel better...it hurts alot:(
Dmoney28 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 if your ex, has no feelings for you, and you're sure he never will...then honestly its time to move on. I know its painful, every day seems like a week...you wish it were night so you go to bed...but you cant cuz you cant escape him even your dreams. NC...thats the only way to go. If he never contacts you..it wasnt meant to be. It will hurt, it will sting, you will cry...but eventually you will get better. You will hurt less with each day that passes. Easier said than done, i know. You feel like no one knows the pain you're in...but we know. That feeling of a part of you thats missing...gone. You have to hang in there no matter what....but you dont belong in this situation...you got to move on..escape from this place..cuz this time you are right to move on.
Author alwayssme Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 if your ex, has no feelings for you, and you're sure he never will...then honestly its time to move on. I know its painful, every day seems like a week...you wish it were night so you go to bed...but you cant cuz you cant escape him even your dreams. NC...thats the only way to go. If he never contacts you..it wasnt meant to be. It will hurt, it will sting, you will cry...but eventually you will get better. You will hurt less with each day that passes. Easier said than done, i know. You feel like no one knows the pain you're in...but we know. That feeling of a part of you thats missing...gone. You have to hang in there no matter what....but you dont belong in this situation...you got to move on..escape from this place..cuz this time you are right to move on. i know we are over and i am not trying to get him back. i want us to be friends, he was a great boyfriend and my best friend, i don't want to lose him. it hurts me to have him completely out of my life. NC is hell..this whole situation sucks..reality sucks right now!
popey Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I totally understand how you feel. Unfortunately, by being friends w/ him right now, you are escaping the grieving process. You're not only are hurting b/c you lost him. You also lost your identity as a couple, your plans for the future, your inside jokes, etc. Going on dates when you don't even want to probably isn't going to help it either. Definitely not suggesting you shut yourself off, but maybe you need to stop contact with him and spend sometime letting yourself be sad about that. This should help you move to acceptance of a you that will make her way back to being happy w/o him. You alone. The combination of him as a friend, and the dates are probably serving as void fillers for all you lost... and as you can see it doesn't work. Hope the clouds part for you in time, and you come through strong and happy.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I totally understand how you feel. Unfortunately, by being friends w/ him right now, you are escaping the grieving process. You're not only are hurting b/c you lost him. You also lost your identity as a couple, your plans for the future, your inside jokes, etc. Going on dates when you don't even want to probably isn't going to help it either. Definitely not suggesting you shut yourself off, but maybe you need to stop contact with him and spend sometime letting yourself be sad about that. This should help you move to acceptance of a you that will make her way back to being happy w/o him. You alone. The combination of him as a friend, and the dates are probably serving as void fillers for all you lost... and as you can see it doesn't work. Hope the clouds part for you in time, and you come through strong and happy. Hanging out with your ex is a BAD idea for moving on. PERIOD. The same laugh, the same mannerisms, the same speech pattern, the same joking, that you fell in love with. You dumped me......you get to be my friend. Freinds don't hurt eachother so badly.
popey Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Hanging out with your ex is a BAD idea for moving on. PERIOD. The same laugh, the same mannerisms, the same speech pattern, the same joking, that you fell in love with. You dumped me......you get to be my friend. Freinds don't hurt eachother so badly. I don't think I agree w/ an across the board standard- that if someone dumps you, that necessarily means this is a person who doesn't deserve to be ever be your friend. When a friend hurts another, it doesn't usually cause the same devastation as when an SO does. But this isn't always due to a difference in grievous actions, but rather to the extent of the loss the actions translate into. Friends let us down sometimes in life. Sometimes we find out that a friend is the kind of friend who will come through for us like we thought. Sometimes "best friends" grow in different directions, and evolve into less significant relationships. In many cases, these are still relationships that survive in some form. I agree w/ what you say about all the same stuff you fell in love w/... being around it is a problem, however. That's a problem until/unless you move on.
M2k Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 no, there are no chances of us getting back together, that's the worst part i know i love him but i have always been "strong" and now I feel almost ashamed for hurting this much, i don't understand why am I getting repaid like this for simply being in love? I know I made mistakes but not for all this. I see him in every guy I look at. And like I said it's not about being needy of affection because I have the chance to have that with other people. I go out, I live my life BUT i miss him...this is the first time i'm going through this, understand i wanted (and still wish i could ) spend the rest of my life with this man. this wasn't a game for me and i thought we were on the same page but apparently we weren't. this wasn't a break-up with just my "boyfriend"...i lost the one i loved with all my heart and it's shattered my heart. Anyone else feel like this? I know there's not much I can do except for let time pass and bla bla...but it's been 2 months and it's not getting any better...i feel like even if one day i move on with someone new, i will always love my ex...honestly i don't know how i will get over him, it seems like this will never end i know exactly what you are going through, search back through my previous posts .. i have only posted a few so shouldnt be hard. i came to this site probably much the same way you have, to find answers and advice on how the hell to deal with what i can honestly say has to be one of the hardest things in life. some of the things people will say on here you will as i did think "yeah but they dont know the kind of love we had" and it is very hard to hear some things that people will say.. but believe me when i say that usually they are right and usually if its over its over.. i personally went through sheer hell and as you have said you have woke up feeling bad because of dreams.. i had this for almost 4 months i either woke up in cold sweats (twice woke up crying so much i threw up) or woke up thinking everything was fine for about half a second then suddenly it was reality, and everything sucked! i am one of the very few lucky ones who ended up getting back with my ex fiance.. we have been back together since roughly june.. but by no means has it been easy.. we still argue alot and there are still problems.. but sometimes if its meant to be it will be! for me and my ex it took 6 or 7 months or pain and heartache (i now know on both sides) for her to finally trust me enough to see the changes i had made! it has been 2 months for you and whilst i cannot promise anything know that if it is meant to be and if he feels the way you do.. then he will come back.. but for now i suggest listening to the people here as they will give you as much advice as you need and help you with getting on with your life.. i cannot as i never did but i hope my ramble has been of some help.. even if it is just that you know someone has felt what you are feeling before
MitchRapp Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Me: Hi, I'm MitchRapp...and I'm lovesick Group: Hi Mitch... Me: I'm proud to say that I've been no contact for 3 days Group: (applause)
cashley Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Oh this made me cry. I felt like this about my ex, he was on my mind all the time...still is.., but its been 6 months..I was having 'some' good days, where I didnt think of him at all, and then theres the days where, everything reminded me, like TODAY..I folded and rang my ex. He cried when we spoke, we both cried, and knowing he misses me too, kind of helps. I was the one who left him, and I worry I called because im blinded by lonliness, or missing the familiar...i dont know. he says he isnt over me. Im not holding out for us to re-unite..that wouldnt be easy, again, i just dont know...theres kids involved..and geographical nightmare too. Im glad he misses me too, but it made me wonder why we are not back together?? life is short. I am seeing someone else too, but its not the same, not deep and im not 'in love'. Hes living with someone else, and still loves me..?? Im empty. I am glad we spoke though... I had not spoken to him for 2 months... Now I have to just make sure I get on with life, regardless of what hes doing. Im not sure if talking to him today was a good thing or not.
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