alwayssme Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 if the one you loved left you, what was your reaction towards them? did you cry and try talking to them or completely walked away and never looked back? in either situation, how did you feel afterwards and what were the consequences? also i'm curious...if you were the "dumper" what were your reasons for leaving the other person? how did they react towards you and what did u do after their reaction? (like if they cried to you and you still cared about them as "friends" did you feel sad for hurting them?) sorry so many questions...but I really want to know from a lot of people on both sides so I can get a better understanding. Be as specific as you'd like! Thanks!
Gypsy_Heart Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 In my case, I was dumped. I tried talking to her for 10 minutes about giving it another chance, and when I realized she was quite sure of her decision, I said "ok fine, I understand". We kept small-talking until we finished our coffees, paid the waiter, and then left. She sent me a mail the next day and that's it. I haven't had any contact with her for the last 2 weeks. I felt like **** the first week, I cried my eyes out. Then picked myself up, started working out in a gym, taking guitar lessons and focusing on my work and things are more or less ok now. I hope we can get back together because I do love her and want her in my life, but I don't need her nor anyone else. Besides, this break up was a blessing in disguise really. It served as a wake up call to comtemplate all the mistakes I did and all the issues I have (being a "nice guy" as described in "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover). Now I'm working on them and I'm confident I'll be able to move on if she doesn't want to try again.
UnamedSeven Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I tried to hide the pain/hatred as much as i could. It was so sudden, so swift, i couldn't bear anything much more. I still never found out the whole reason why she dumped me out-of-the-blue, and i absolutly hated myself for still loving her. What i did, i wrote a poem. You have no idea what happens when your heart writes, instead of your brain.
Karma101 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I reacted with understanding and as much dignity as humanly possibly... and then I went home and curled up in my bed and cried.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 With my ex? He left me - I initiated the dumping, but only because he would have stayed with me and cheated on me (already was emotionally), and he was treating me like ****. But I wanted him back. I begged for him back, he wouldnt have it. I was staying at his house for the next 24hrs because I was visiting from out of town. It was miserable. We half got back together, but his heart wasnt in it. A day later I quit. For two weeks I went on and off NC, basically I'd ignore himand let him talk to me, pretending that was sufficient to meet the ends of NC. Then he kept treating me badly, so I told him to just stop. This was 4 days into the breakup, he dated the new girl he was having an emotional affair with, still is to this day. For a month I kept my hopes up, allowed contact if it happened, occasionally made conversation. Then about two weeks ago I just gave up. Hes with her now, he does not miss me, hes not coming back. Thats the reality, and it feels better going NC than anything else, its all I've got now! So thats how I dealt with my breakup. Now? I remind myself each day why hes going to miss me - he sure as hell will. He took me for granted and stopped seeing why I'm a steal. I remind myself how lucky the next guy will be to have me, and I remind myself there is better love out there. Thats how I'm dealing now.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 also i'm curious...if you were the "dumper" what were your reasons for leaving the other person? how did they react towards you and what did u do after their reaction? When we were in a long-distance relationship visiting every three weeks, his behavior suggested he was very invested and committed. He talked about me being "the one", long-term plans, cohabitation, marriage, etc. He quit the successful band he'd been in for 15 years and left his hometown to move to my city. Once he got here, he became distant and, I felt, held me at arm's length. He told me he was scared of "losing his independence". So, I gave it back to him. How did he react? Twice he talked me out of breaking up with him, telling me I was the one, he couldn't lose me, and he'd "get his head out of his ass". The third time, I told him my decision was not up for discussion, and asked him not to contact me again unless there was an emergency. He has respected my request and not contacted me.
Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I was dumped, I treated my ex like a queen and she would attest to that I think she felt like she could come back to me at any time which probably was true. At first it all seemed like a dream, so I took it quite well and then she slept with another man 5 days after we broke up. I called her every name you could possibly think of and told her to hurry up and get the F out of the house, and as I was running around the house yelling, cussing and calling her names I proceeded to break everything in sight. I even took a ring I gave her for V-day which she wore everyday even after we broke up and smashed it to pieces. I then called the OM and told him to fear for his life (yes I have major anger issues that I thought I had under control, I use to get into fights daily when I was young) And then I called the OM and let him listen to my ex crying while I was yelling at her, and I was telling him to come and pick her up so I could have my way with him.... And my ex was telling him to be afraid and hide from me. Anyway I am very ashamed of how I reacted and I wish I could undo it all. And for the record (I think this post makes me look like an uber a-hole) I have never hit a woman, never would. I work on my anger issues daily and I am a much better person today than I was 10 years ago. And I can't remember the last time I had a fight.
Hersheys Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 My previous breaks / breakups with my now ex were dramatic, with me sulking and in denial for days. I just wanted him back. But this one our most recent breakup was easy. I was ready. I was just too tired to give it another try. I hope that this breakup & NC will go the distance. By that I mean, I'd be able to finally let go, forget and move on.
floyd Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 It was kind of strange. I broke up with her after nearly six months. I saw it as being rather sudden, since I put everything into the relationship, not wanting to do it "half way". When I realized the relationship, from my point of view, plateaued, I ended it. It was not fair to her to think I was in a different place than I actually was. I told her at her place. I went over everything I felt and what I had come to realize..etc.etc. She got a little upset..cried.., but didn't really want much more of an explanation. I asked her if she was shocked, but she really didn't answer me. I know for a fact that she was looking at this as a long term thing and said she could see us together for a long time. About 5 mins after I stopped explaining, she went inside her place to get some tissues. I followed her in a few mins later to find all my stuff on her kitchen table and saw her on the computer deleting me from Facebook and any other connection we had. She piled pictures, notes, stubs, etc. all on top of my stuff. It was unbelievable (to me) one minute, literally, thinking big things for the future and the next wanting to erase every single memory of me from her life. Obviously she was very hurt by this and her insecurities run deep, but I did not expect to be removed from her life 5 mins after we break up. I'm surprised she didn't delete me from her cellphone as I was breaking up with her. I learned a lot about her insecurities. She once said, that past relationships always ended with her initiating the break up. Maybe this was too much for her ego to handle.
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