torranceshipman Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 This is a question for the girls of LS: people often say that girls only want bad boys that treat them bad and the 'nice guys' don't get anywhere. Now...if I met a truly 'good guy' tomorrow who was cute, who I had great chemistry with, who was clean livin and had great manners and who wanted a stable R...I'd be so into that! What do the rest of you girls think, or is there anyone here who would honestly turn that down for a 'bad boy' instead?
prettybaby Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Only girls with issues like bad boys that treat them bad. Since there are a lot of girls with a lot of issues out there ... As far as I'm concerned: I'm into good guys who treat me well
carhill Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Timing is everything. If I could catch a woman in the 10 seconds between her dumping one bad boy and banging another one, I'd be golden Well, that was more fun than a mere thread subscription...
Yamaha Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 It depends if your into drama. Some girls like drama and feel things aren't exciting if there isn't emotional drama in a relationship. BAD BOYS bring drama. Many girls say they like good guys but look at all the posts of good guys saying they get stuck in the friend zone.
TigerCub Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I've never liked a guy that treated me badly - I never would...BUT...in highschool/university, I used to love the guys that were arrogant/ahole-ish to most people but me - it kinda made me feel special - yeah pretty silly, I know.. But when it comes to dating, I've always liked the sweet romantic guys. Nice guys don't finish last as long as they're not boring/clingy...
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I'm not sure where I fall on the spectrum of bad guys/good guys. I don't really like guys who fell like they NEED to take care of me, make me happy, make me succeed. I'm more independent than that. As for romance? It's not really my thing, I mean, its nice once in a blue moon, but overall, I stray away from it and prefer just... laughing with a guy over gushing over one. So in a way, nice guys - the ones that a lot of people may see as catches? Not really my thing. I don't want perfect in a relationship, because perfect is boring. So I guess I kind of seek out guys with one flaw or another. That being said, I don't like jerks. I'm a person, my friends are people, and everyone we run into is a person too. If a guy cant be respectful of others, hes not worth my time. I'm like a weird mix I guess ;p
Rooster_DAR Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 My observation is that many women vacillate between bad boys and good guys. After the bad boy dumps them because he found a stripper that satisfies his inhibitions, she will gravitate to the nice guy because he can feed her ego for a while. Then, nice guy gets boring, so it's time to fall for bad boy again. It's a cycle that keeps going. Some eventually figure out their dilemma, some keep living in that loop. Cheers!
monkey00 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I don't want perfect in a relationship, because perfect is boring. So I guess I kind of seek out guys with one flaw or another. I find that little tidbit to be quite true. Most of the girls I know who are in relationships are with guys who are still struggling in life and aren't set in their careers. The girl may be accomplished but the guy could be a loser. Or both could be struggling. Humans are imperfect by nature, why would we want perfection?
carhill Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Why would a "good man" be any more "perfect" than a "bad boy"? Sounds to me, for numerous ladies, the bad boy is perfection personified; perfectly bad
Kamille Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I'm still part of the school who thinks there are bad boys, "nice" guys and then real men. By that I mean, there are the boys who will treat you badly either because they care more about landing women then building a relationship. They're part of the school who believe a man's worth is measured by how many women he can land in bed. Sure, there is a public of women who care more about landing the bad boy then building a relationship, so it works. Then there's the self-titled "nice" guys, who gush over you 3 minutes after meeting you, under pretext of being "honest" who attach way too much of their self-esteem into what you think of them way too soon. They want a relationship, but often, the girl and her personality are ornamental to that relationship: it's all about proving what great guys they are to that girl. So she never is able to "appreciate" them to their true value - because deep down they're relying on her approval to fix their self-esteem. Believe me, I've been in relationships like this and it's tiresome. My friends who are like that are usually the ones who complain about girls only being into bad boys. Then there's real men: men who have their own life going on, are willing to build a relationship, but with the right person. They don't need a woman's approval to fix their self-esteem so they recognize her a fellow human being. Most real men are honest : they don't need to be bad or nice. They can be themselves ie, imperfect yet caring human beings.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Then there's real men: men who have their own life going on, are willing to build a relationship, but with the right person. They don't need a woman's approval to fix their self-esteem so they recognize her a fellow human being. Most real men are honest : they don't need to be bad or nice. They can be themselves ie, imperfect yet caring human beings. Yes, I think Kamille thats what I was trying to get at maybe. A "real man" is the kind of guy I want in my life
norajane Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Bad boys are a phase. When a woman matures, the bad boys are less appealing. And make no mistake, so-called nice guys also bring the drama. It's just a different kind of drama, especially since they often aren't all that nice, but think they are. As Kamille said, real men are preferred. But you have to wade through a lot of 'nice guys' to find one who is a man.
carhill Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Assuming you like sugar, have you ever had a drink that was overly sweet? Too much? Like it would have been a good thing if they just toned down the sugar? That's IMO the best way to describe the nice guy. I was one for years. Not clingy, not overly invested, but just too damn nice The balance of that was an emptiness and self-loathing which resulted from obviating my own needs at the altar of the woman. Very unhealthy. It carried over into my marriage. It wasn't until the shock of my mom's illness and descent into dementia and the responsibilities which thrust upon me that I realized I had to take care of my own needs or die. That's when the process of becoming a real man began. I would say now that fewer women "like" me, but more respect me, even the ones who don't like me much. I can include my wife in that bunch. It's an interesting dynamic. On-topic, I think it's not so much that "girls liking bad boys" but rather that some are attracted to them. There is a difference
samspade Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 There is a difference between a "good guy" and a "nice guy." A good guy can be a gentleman, but he is also strong, independent, and masculine, even a little cocky. He has a dash of "bad." A nice guy is needy, clingy, unable to live without validation through relationships, and submissive. A bad guy - now that covers a wide range. Could be a TRULY bad, abusive guy...or just a badas$ or a jerk or whatever. Women hate boring men, and most nice guys are BOOORRRING. In my experience, I am much more successful seducing women when I avoid any "nice guy" behaviors. But I'm not what anyone would call "bad," either. I'm just an unapologetic male with a lot of confidence.
Meaplus3 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 This is a question for the girls of LS: people often say that girls only want bad boys that treat them bad and the 'nice guys' don't get anywhere. Now...if I met a truly 'good guy' tomorrow who was cute, who I had great chemistry with, who was clean livin and had great manners and who wanted a stable R...I'd be so into that! What do the rest of you girls think, or is there anyone here who would honestly turn that down for a 'bad boy' instead? Well.. the bad boy types do have a certain appeal, however speaking from my own personal exp.. their no good for a long term R. I'll take the good guy anyday. AP:)
Green Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 I'm the nicest guy I know and girls still like me so I guess there goes that theory. "excuse me baby can I please touch your stuff, you know squeeze your butt" thats polite. Some times you have to treat a woman like a piece of meat to have some fun.
monkey00 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 As Kamille said, real men are preferred. But you have to wade through a lot of 'nice guys' to find one who is a man. They probably do..this is the new millenium and there are a lot of grown up kids who didn't have the right upbringing to be a man. Or a man's man A nice guy is needy, clingy, unable to live without validation through relationships, and submissive. I tend to notice a common pattern among nice guys and controlling/clingy women. 2 of my friends are the classical nice guys..submissive/whipped whatever you called it, and they have perfectly functional relationships with their gfs - whom I find to be pretty controlling. ugh, no thanks but I could never date someone who's that controlling. I need a balance in women I date and have relationships with. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not keeping up with times..maybe I need a chain around my balls too to be in a satisfactory relationship with someone..
ChickenAce Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Yeah, I always wanted to be sweet and loving and nice to people but you know sometimes being mean has got its merits and its not about always who you conjure yourself up to be but rather who you are. All people want to have great sex and be in a perfect relationship but it don't exist except for few and even then how perfect is anything really? But loving someone also requires some sort of niceness which is in my book of thought. I mean you really never can build any emotional bridge unless you allow your true natures to be exchanged and seen. Some people I guess we are fearful of opening up cos we might get hurt as we have done before but I dunno this is all opinions and they don't matter. At the end of the day, if two people are lucky enough to have love health and happiness together everything is worth it. Sometimes i've seen bad boys being too proud by my impression and things fall apart and sometimes with girls too but in the end it all works out.
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