Katelynn27 Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I met a guy at work. I started a new job with 15 other people and we are all in training class for 9 weeks. We are in our 5th week. He was attentive and flirtatious from the start. I'm single and he told me was. We have a 7 year age difference, He is 21, I'm 28. We take lunch and breaks together everyday. He is usually the one initiating contact. He calls me all the time and we text each other at work all day. He is always casually touching me, pulling lint off my coat, etc. He tells me how beautiful he thinks I'am, amoung other things. I took it he was interested in me on a romantic level, because of all the flirting and questions he would ask. Two weeks ago, I asked him what his intentions were with me, because he hadn't asked me out yet, but all the other signs were there. He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship right now, he was looking to "go with the flow" and "whatever happens, happens". I never thought that far into it anyway, because of how young he is. I just thought maybe we could go out and have fun. I told him that but he still hasn't taken any action. Yet he treats me like we are dating. Another guy took interest in me at work and he found out, he acted jealous about it. And than I went away last weekend and he asked where I was going, why and with who. I never told him who I was going away with, I just said a "friend". I wanted him to wonder. Now here is another weekend and he still didn't make a move. Yet I know for a fact he will call me tonight and tomorrow. I just don't know what to do at this point. I'm afraid that my feelings are going to get stronger, but I can't continue this game. I don't want to tell him to stop calling me either... What should I do???
TigerCub Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Well you actually went as far as to ask him why he's not making moves on you and asking you out and he still isn't making any moves. He's either not interested or he's a huge p*$$y, don't waste time waiting for him. Stay friends and all, but find someone else to date. p.s. I think sometimes people read way too much into little things like a person taking interest and asking questions about another person, or someone being touchy feely. I'm that way with my friends, even the guys and I don't intend for every little thing I do being misread as an advance in some way.
torranceshipman Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 It sounds like he might just want a little fling with you because he thinks you're super hot, but that he doesnt want actual commitment from anyone right now (he is only 21, after all).
pretty professional Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 He is just not that into you. He's into the ego boost. You posted this same thing a couple weeks ago and things have not changed. He has not made a move. He knows he can have you, but he isn't taking you. Just move on, and just be civil at work, but don't continue to have friendly contact, just necessary work contact.
prettybaby Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Sounds like he's just enjoying the flirting but doesn't want any commitment. In other words: he's a waste of time. Next.
Geishawhelk Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I'm not being insulting, but at 21, he's emotionally much less mature than you too... only a short while ago, this was just in adult age.... admittedly, that's now moved down, but maturity with a lot of people is still not the main attribute.... just another spoon in the pot......
OpenBook Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 You scared him when you asked him about his intentions. I think he's totally into you... but he doesn't know what to do with you. He's just a boy. Enjoy the interaction if you want to, but I wouldn't expect him to be a man. If you are starting to develop feelings for him, nip those in the bud NOW - stop answering his phone calls, be nice but a little cool and aloof when you see him. (Which is what I would have done the MINUTE I heard him say he was just "going with the flow.")
Author Katelynn27 Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 You are sure he is single? He told me he was single...that is all I can go by, unless he lied. I'm considering that possibility. I have read "He's just not that into you" and I don't want to say I'm the exception to the book, BUT I think there is more to my situation. I know when a guy is into you, he will ask you out. But why does he pay me so much attention, if he isn't into me, even a little? He calls me, he textes me, he initiates contact with me at work, he is the one asking all the questions about what I do and whom I'm with. I haven't experienced this with a guy that wasn't interested. Thats what makes this so confusing for me...
Author Katelynn27 Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 You scared him when you asked him about his intentions. I think he's totally into you... but he doesn't know what to do with you. He's just a boy. Enjoy the interaction if you want to, but I wouldn't expect him to be a man. If you are starting to develop feelings for him, nip those in the bud NOW - stop answering his phone calls, be nice but a little cool and aloof when you see him. (Which is what I would have done the MINUTE I heard him say he was just "going with the flow.") Earlier last week, I tried to take the "cool and aloof" route. One day later he approached me at work and asked me if something was wrong. I asked him why he would ask that and he said he felt tension between us. He said he thought that "I thought or felt different that I did before" about him. I told him that nothing had changed. He was genuinely concerned, about my aloof behavior, towards him. I felt bad and mean for acting that way, because I do like him. That night he called me and we spoke on the phone for 2 hours. Maybe I should have come clean....
monkey00 Posted October 19, 2008 Posted October 19, 2008 Considering the age gap and him being 21, it sounds to me like he's an indecisive little boy. He could be into you, but not really looking for anything serioius. Or he could be and finds you to be intimidating because you're more confident than him because of the age gap. Since you're the older one, why not be the one to take the lead and ask him out?
Author Katelynn27 Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 He could be into you, but not really looking for anything serioius. Since when does going out on a date have to turn into a relationship? I'm interested in seeing how he is outside of work and off of the phone. He may be different.
Lady Bird Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 I agree with a previous post, why not ask him out? Stop playing the little games and go for broke. That way you will know for sure and stop the guess work.
pretty professional Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 Lady Bird, she did that already and he shot her down.
Lady Bird Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 I must have missed that part, sorry. That says it all! He just isn't that into you. Remain friendly but don't put any effort or concerns into him, flirting can be fun but know that it's not going any where. Good luck!
BubblyPopcorn Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 I met a guy at work. I started a new job with 15 other people and we are all in training class for 9 weeks. We are in our 5th week. He was attentive and flirtatious from the start. I'm single and he told me was. We have a 7 year age difference, He is 21, I'm 28. We take lunch and breaks together everyday. He is usually the one initiating contact. He calls me all the time and we text each other at work all day. He is always casually touching me, pulling lint off my coat, etc. He tells me how beautiful he thinks I'am, amoung other things. I took it he was interested in me on a romantic level, because of all the flirting and questions he would ask. Two weeks ago, I asked him what his intentions were with me, because he hadn't asked me out yet, but all the other signs were there. He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship right now, he was looking to "go with the flow" and "whatever happens, happens". I never thought that far into it anyway, because of how young he is. I just thought maybe we could go out and have fun. I told him that but he still hasn't taken any action. Yet he treats me like we are dating. Another guy took interest in me at work and he found out, he acted jealous about it. And than I went away last weekend and he asked where I was going, why and with who. I never told him who I was going away with, I just said a "friend". I wanted him to wonder. Now here is another weekend and he still didn't make a move. Yet I know for a fact he will call me tonight and tomorrow. I just don't know what to do at this point. I'm afraid that my feelings are going to get stronger, but I can't continue this game. I don't want to tell him to stop calling me either... What should I do??? He wants to keep it non-commital, which is perfectly fine and perfectly acceptable. And it is also perfectly acceptable that you are not available to him whenever he wants/needs/prefers you to be and he has no right to ask or question your where-abouts, who you date, etc. None of his business. Can't have your cake and eat it too, sorry charlie.
muse08 Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 are you sure he's "str8"? men who like men are touchy feely too. they even flirt sometimes with you if you're hot. you'd be surprised... if that's not the case then he's just a young "boy"...you can't force him to go at your desired pace. so try accepting that. but still...consider what i said!...and move on.
DollWelch Posted October 20, 2008 Posted October 20, 2008 This situation/flirtatious relationship is unfolding in the workplace. Right? So, what makes you think that it's alright to carry-out a full force romantic relationship. I think he isn't making any moves mainly because he doesn't want to mess around at work. Perhaps he likes working there, and doesn't want to get in trouble. Does your workplace have any regulations and guidelines about dating within the company? You should look into that, if you don't know. Bottom line is he's experimenting with women and his new found freedom. It wouldn't surprise me if he's dating/seriously flirting with other women in his life. Let go of him, before you develop any serious feelings. Instead, go out to clubs and bars -there are plenty of men who would love to go out on a date with you.
ChickenAce Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 There is a certain breed of guyz who are ultra pussy because they got no experience. I can ever remember the first time for me I was freaked out. A girl came up to me and i just blitzed off. Its up to you, but if you think you got the hots for him, give him a chance shoot it straight up his way, remember after all your dealing with a less experienced person.
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