Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 Teasing women, being condescending or arrogant - these are ways to pick up women. To get them to 'qualify themselves' to the man, rather than vice versa, as often happens. Done well, with charm and a little self-deprecation it often works. On some women, such an approach will never work. So this is an actual approach? Is this something those crazy dating coaches advise? Do you know what I'm talking about?
jerbear Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Thanks guys, you are all making me feel better about this :love: On that note, my tool is feeling pretty massive right now :DIs that the reason why CB35 is feeling better!? :laugh: I think a lot of it is how you are raised. Are you raised to be a well rounded person? To think of others, not just yourself? Do you mix and mingle with many different types of folks?I try to mingle with different folks, once in awhile, they might teach you something or offer a better solution. The thing about pedigree is that it tends to breed more "crap" and legacies at universities just cause more inbreeding. I do see the reasons for a legacy system but that is besides the point. I'm more impressed with someone who actually started a venture with or without a degree. A person who owns her own home (condo or whatever) is more impressive than someone who is trying to impress. If I met CB35 at a bar and learned that she owns her condo in DC, well I would be more inclined to pursue her. Shows me that she is financially responsible and understands money.
The Collector Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 So this is an actual approach? Is this something those crazy dating coaches advise? Do you know what I'm talking about? Could well be. Or he could be an arrogant jerk naturally, which is attractive to some women (if the guys tall and decent looking). Specifically, I've never heard a crazy dating coach to pick on the woman's income, but in general there is lots of advice on 'how to pick up chicks' that advises to make the woman prove herself to the man, he is The Prize that she must prove herself worthy of, etc. And also general teasing -or 'negging' is often advised. Do you think it was a tactic or he was just a natural jerk? And do you never go for arrogant guys who tease or did this one just lack the charm(/height) to pull it off?
torranceshipman Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Oh God, thats an actual dating approach? Thats rubbish :D I can see how it might work on girls with truly bad self esteem (which suggests that the guy using it has really bad self esteem too, and needs to make a girl feel bad about herself so she feels 'below' him and he gets a power trip)...surely that approach is never going to work with a girl who is self assured, confident and successful, as the ass condescending CherryBlossom obviously found out? Occasionally guys do this to me and I play along as I find it hilarious, and usually I let them believe whatever they want about me (as they're clearly not dateable if they're that rude/igorant!)-its my friends that usually bust out the truth when they've really gone on a while, and there have been a couple of priceless moments when the guys realise what a complete ass theyve made of themselves!! I've got the kind of resume these 'elitist' guys think theyre looking for, but they're often not able to really articulate a great argument when pushed, so they tend to be more mouth than trousers sometimes in the intellctual stakes - but I rarely bother as I don't need to win some dumb argument to prove myself to them. Give them the sound of silence CherryBlossom-that guy was clearly below you!
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 Could well be. Or he could be an arrogant jerk naturally, which is attractive to some women (if the guys tall and decent looking). Specifically, I've never heard a crazy dating coach to pick on the woman's income, but in general there is lots of advice on 'how to pick up chicks' that advises to make the woman prove herself to the man, he is The Prize that she must prove herself worthy of, etc. And also general teasing -or 'negging' is often advised. Do you think it was a tactic or he was just a natural jerk? And do you never go for arrogant guys who tease or did this one just lack the charm(/height) to pull it off? No, I hate arrogance and I don't like to be teased. Confidence yes, arrogance no. He was very tall, by the way. Why would "negging" be advised in picking up women? When I'm looking at a man as a potential date, I certainly don't want someone who is going to make me feel bad about myself or who thinks that is ok. Different stokes for different folks I guess.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 How do I handle situations like this in the future? How do I keep my self esteem intact and not let this bother me? You haven't learnt already? Have you gone through life without meeting people that you think are complete jackoffs? Just chalk them up as someone you don't want to bother with and go talk to someone else. Either that or take the p1ss out of them if you're that way inclined.
SushiX Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Maybe he didn't know what else to talk about. Remember alot of people get nervous in situations like these. Maybe you could change the subject and talk about something else. If he's really a jerk then no need to talk anymore.
The Collector Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Why would "negging" be advised in picking up women? When I'm looking at a man as a potential date, I certainly don't want someone who is going to make me feel bad about myself or who thinks that is ok. Different stokes for different folks I guess. The idea is that women, especially very beautiful women, live a life where men are constantly kissing up to them, and get bored and they don't respect these men. If someone comes along who doesn't acknowledge her supposed power, who doesn't immediately put them on a pedestal, who acts like he could care less if he offends her, that can be a rare and attractive thing. Actively 'negging' - to be accurate it's supposed to be a certain mixture of a compliment and a put-down, and delivered with charm, is not supposed to make the woman feel bad - just challenged, or eager to please a man who isn't seeking her approval. One of Kate Moss's boyfriend's first lines to her was supposedly 'You smell of piss.' Would that work on most women? Maybe not. Would it intrigue a model who is bored of compliments and false 'nice guy' approaches? Evidently it did.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 The idea is that women, especially very beautiful women, live a life where men are constantly kissing up to them, and get bored and they don't respect these men. If someone comes along who doesn't acknowledge her supposed power, who doesn't immediately put them on a pedestal, who acts like he could care less if he offends her, that can be a rare and attractive thing. Actively 'negging' - to be accurate it's supposed to be a certain mixture of a compliment and a put-down, and delivered with charm, is not supposed to make the woman feel bad - just challenged, or eager to please a man who isn't seeking her approval. One of Kate Moss's boyfriend's first lines to her was supposedly 'You smell of piss.' Would that work on most women? Maybe not. Would it intrigue a model who is bored of compliments and false 'nice guy' approaches? Evidently it did. Hmmm.....ok. I guess there is a fine line there. This particular guy went way overboard IMO.
carhill Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Would it intrigue a model who is bored of compliments and false 'nice guy' approaches? Evidently it did. LOL, my canned line is "Did you just fart?" Now that's a conversation starter
johan Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I was LIVID! I said, no, thank you very much, I own my condo and I make a good salary. I walked away after that last remark. You must have a second job, though.
Nemo Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 You must have a second job, though. Or a rich ex-husband.
Geishawhelk Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 She's really Zha-Zha Gabor, you know.....
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 No second jobs or rich ex-husbands. The latter might not be a bad career plan, however, to keep me in the lifestyle I so richly deserve
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 LOL, my canned line is "Did you just fart?" Now that's a conversation starter OMG, that would have been hilarious!
torranceshipman Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 So negging means that the guy makes himself stand out by being rude and offending the girl? Why is that meant to work, if the whole experience of a beautiful girl is to expect attention and good treatment as the BASE level - i.e. great treatment is the least she can expect from every man that hits on her? Surely not even making that basic level of treatment means she'll toss him aside in a heartbeat. If its to get her attention, sure, I suppose he'll get it, but I doubt its the right kind of attention that he wants! And to be fair, Kate Moss isn't a great example, as she seems to go for that skanky kind of guy these days anyway (I mean, Pete Doherty? c'mon!!-you have to have issues to be attracted to that thing) What I want to know is how a girl can go from the Jonny Depps of the world to the Pete Dohertys?! Jonny Depp was such a hottie :confused: Sure, the rude one'll stand out, but only for being a jackass!!
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 So negging means that the guy makes himself stand out by being rude and offending the girl? Why is that meant to work, if the whole experience of a beautiful girl is to expect attention and good treatment as the BASE level - i.e. great treatment is the least she can expect from every man that hits on her? Surely not even making that basic level of treatment means she'll toss him aside in a heartbeat. If its to get her attention, sure, I suppose he'll get it, but I doubt its the right kind of attention that he wants! And to be fair, Kate Moss isn't a great example, as she seems to go for that skanky kind of guy these days anyway (I mean, Pete Doherty? c'mon!!-you have to have issues to be attracted to that thing) What I want to know is how a girl can go from the Jonny Depps of the world to the Pete Dohertys?! Jonny Depp was such a hottie :confused: Sure, the rude one'll stand out, but only for being a jackass!! Yeah, Pete Doherty sucks. I forgot she went out with Johnny Depp! I think for models and actors, a lot of people they meet just kissing their *** , so I can see why they would be interested in the person who makes them earn their respect.
carhill Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 OMG, that would have been hilarious! True story: My friend (the one in my journals) was being especially annoying one day on one of our trips and I laid that line on her. Now, you have to understand, she's one of those special people for whom gas never passes those sacred lips, so you can imagine the daggers I got for the rest of that day. Hilarious I mean, what are friends for, if you can't pass gas together... Guess what I got called later......yep, just like the OP, c o n d e s c e n d i n g
The Collector Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 So negging means that the guy makes himself stand out by being rude and offending the girl? No, re-read my previous post. Why is that meant to work, if the whole experience of a beautiful girl is to expect attention and good treatment as the BASE level - i.e. great treatment is the least she can expect from every man that hits on her? Are you a beautiful woman? Have you dated many? Maybe you don't quite understand how dull and repetitive it is for men to shower you with attention and 'good treatment' 24/7 just because of your looks, to the point that what really turns you on is someone who doesn't. Or and this is the important bit, doesn't give it to you until you prove yourself worthy of it. And I repeat, it only works if delivered with charm. Why do so many women fancy Simon Cowell? He's one of the biggest neggers in the world.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Why do so many women fancy Simon Cowell? He's one of the biggest neggers in the world. Because he has a bank balance the size of a small country and is famous. If a short bald fat ugly 47 year old guy walks up to a 22 year old model and tell her she stinks of p1ss in a charming way do you think he gets to take her back to his apartment and do her all night? No I thought not...
The Collector Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Because he has a bank balance the size of a small country and is famous. . That doesn't hurt, but it's not the whole story is it? So are plenty of celebs that don't register with women. He's a harsh critic, but also capable of rare praise. Catnip for many women. If a short bald fat ugly 47 year old guy walks up to a 22 year old model and tell her she stinks of p1ss in a charming way do you think he gets to take her back to his apartment and do her all night? No I thought not.. The odds are stacked against him, but I'd say it was possibly his best shot.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 The odds are stacked against him, but I'd say it was possibly his best shot. Ok your point about Cowell has merit. However I'd say you're getting confused betwen the fact that women on the whole respond to sincerity and the PUA BS that insulting women gets you laid.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 That doesn't hurt, but it's not the whole story is it? So are plenty of celebs that don't register with women. He's a harsh critic, but also capable of rare praise. Catnip for many women. This is like the teacher who is very critical of students. When they do give rare praise, it means more.
torranceshipman Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I do get hit on a lot, Collector, every day really, by cute guys as well as not so cute ones - and I'm what you'd put in the beautiful woman category (it sounds so conceited to say that, but I'm just answering your question!-but I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder etc-but yes, I can generically say that I am considered beautiful by a lot of men and I used to be a model-and a cheerleader-so am used to attention from men). I think its really nice that guys make the effort, no matter how much it happens and I'm not conceited-I think beauty is as much on the inside as it is on the outside and I love manners, a good heart, integrity, character, etc-way more than a good body etc, and I couldnt care less about whether the guy has money etc (thus, the Simon Cowells/flashy bankers, etc of the world would hold no interest for me). So that means that if a guy puts me (or my friend) down in some strange bid to pull me, I'll just think 'what an arrogant tw*t' as most guys (like I said in my post) treat me nice as a default approach, so thats the least I'd expect in a chat up line (and like I say, I appreciate that good treatment no matter how many guys approach me like that). I read the rude approach as arrogant, ignorant, insecure, mean, etc, and I wouldnt give that type of guy the time of day as a result-I'm not for him, and he's not for me. I'd need someone more confident in his own skin. I also believe in treating others as I would like to be treated, and I would never, repeat NEVER put someone else down to make myself feel better or to get something. I think people like that are stupid.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 If the guy is going to put you down within the first 1/2 hour of meeting you, what do you think a relationship with this person would look like?
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