Bells Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 There's this female friend I know that dated a few guys here and there....she's with a guy now exclusively. But "how they met" was something I wouldn't have even tolerated. Apparently, the guy she knows now....she dated "on and off" for a period of 5 years. To "fill in the gaps" with the OTHER guys she's dated. Date a guy....date him....date another guy...back to him...date another guy, didn't work out...back to him. I think in her last relationship...her now current boyfriend would call and text her several times, and she wouldn't return them...then 6 months later...she decides to contact him...and the rest is history. She toyed with this guys feelings for so long, and why he put up with it, and didn't move on...is be yond me...but...now...that they are "Together" A mutual exclusive couple....is that all moot now? I felt sorry for this guy, because she treated him like a tool. I've actually heard quite a few "How we met" stories where the guy suffered pain and mental anguish over a woman pulling crap like this....until he "won her hand." Would any of you dot he same?
RainbowBlue Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 Would I do the same. Nope. Resoundingly no. But hey, people make their own decisions. And you never know, they might live happily ever after. They are adults. They know each other and they have made their choice.
torranceshipman Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 There's a lot you don't know about this R and their dynamic-I have a guy in my life who keeps coming back to me over and over and over, but I keep it on a friends level - he really pushes for more than friendship and says that he loves me - but he's also not in the right place for a serious R-because I know him so well I can tell, but its way more than a physical thing that he tries to start with me-oh, its complex, basically, hard to explain, but I could tell the R wouldnt work right now. So there's a lot of to-ing and fro-ing going on here, and I understand him to a point, but noone else would understand the situation so I dont bother discussing it....if he does get to the point where he feels 100% capable of a committed R then when I see that, the next time he tries to start something up with me, I'd possibly let in happen. She might have been dealing with his insecurities for a long time...they might have been guilty of flaky behavior with eachother for a long time too...
prettybaby Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 To be honest, it depends. Everybody is different and the dynamics of a relationship can be so intricate. Who knows, maybe she realized that he was the only one who truly stuck around through all those years. And if he put up with it all, then he probably really loves her. I think it can work. I know a few people who had on & off relationships with the same person for several years and dated others in between, and then eventually ended up together for good. I won't judge. I simply know that it's perfectly possible and OK.
Kamille Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 You can easily reverse the genders on this scenario Bells. A guy plays a girl plays a girl plays a girl and then decides she's the one for him. Who knows why anyone puts up with it? But yeah, once they make up their mind, it is all "moot" and nobody else's business.
carhill Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 OP, such is gender neutral IMO and part of relationship "timing". If he had truly wanted to "move on", he would have. What works for each couple is what works for each couple. The really cool thing about being human is we only have to live our own lives, not those of others, yes?
Shygirl15 Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I know you've heard this far too many times but "why does that bother you, Bells?"
Jilly Bean Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I know you've heard this far too many times but "why does that bother you, Bells?" Seriously! HiItsMe - it seems like 95% of your posts are rants about what other people are doing and how annoyed you are. And most of these posts don't even involve you. Me thinks you'd be a lot happier if you focused on YOUR life, and stopped obsessing over what some gal posts on her POF profile, or how another couple is living their relationship, or wondering why someone would do anything. I think you spend way too much time coveting other people's lives and acting like a 13-year old girl who is gossiping about everyone else in class. Concentrate on your own life, let people live their own, and Im sure yours will become vastly more interesting.
Author Bells Posted October 19, 2008 Author Posted October 19, 2008 Seriously! HiItsMe - it seems like 95% of your posts are rants about what other people are doing and how annoyed you are. And most of these posts don't even involve you. Me thinks you'd be a lot happier if you focused on YOUR life, and stopped obsessing over what some gal posts on her POF profile, or how another couple is living their relationship, or wondering why someone would do anything. I think you spend way too much time coveting other people's lives and acting like a 13-year old girl who is gossiping about everyone else in class. Concentrate on your own life, let people live their own, and Im sure yours will become vastly more interesting. Wouldn't be much of a LS message board if I didn't talk about other single people, right? lol I think I said what I had to say about myself already...at least until something new comes up Should I just stick to posts about my dating issues?
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