My rather strange break up...

[Weary30]

I am sure that my 'story' is rather weird to some...but I hope that when people read this and can give me any imput, they do so with an open mind.

 

I "met" this guy almost 2 years ago on an online game. We were always friendly and our chats were good and flowed. For a year we chatted sporatically, then earlier this year we just started chatting more and more..not just in type but on programs with voice chat and on the phone. During the course of our conversations, we found that we of course had a lot in common, but that we were also quite similiar in temperment and disposition. After a few months, we both admitted that we liked each other a great deal and thought about meeting up. Now, we both live a pretty big distance from each other...so my big condition to this was, if he didn't want a RL or he was into an adventure and not the long haul, then to not bother. We got along so well that I really had to get a sense of what would happen after meeting...since we both discussed that if things went awesome then we need to be prepared for a LD thing. And that meant trips, LD phone calls, and the possibility of one of us moving.

 

So we did talk about all these kinds of things. Going the distance for a frivolous reason wasn't going to work...as it couldn't be just 'some date' or something. So we planned a trip, to essentially meet halfway between us. We talked about how much we adored each other, etc, mailed each other gifts for birthdays, spoke to each others parents. When we spoke of personalities, we talked about how both of us can have little patience and have a tendency to get irritated easily. About 2 months before we went on this trip...he seemed to get angry about a lot of things, really easily. I tried to be supportive, and figured that a lot of this was stress coming from 2 issues he was having (work and house). But he would be really short fused with me sometimes...and abrupt. Nothing I would consider too major.

 

About 4 months into our "RL" he did tell me he loved me...and I didn't respond in kind until about 6 weeks later....not because I didn't...just because I needed to make absolutely sure of how I felt. (I am sure this is relevent at some point). So anyways...we meet, and we have a week. Everything is awesome. He is sweet, attentive, affectionate, funny...we are having a blast together and completely enjoying each others company. He tells me he is happy...that I am amazing, that he loves me, that he is incredibly comfortable with me. Needless to say I was overjoyed. Previous to this trip we talked about me coming to his city...so during the trip, we talked about me coming there and how great it would be.

 

The day before we are to leave. We go for breakfast..everthing is fantastic. We walk to a venue and stop for ice cream on the way...everything is great. we get to the venue...enjoy it and leave. Then something at some point on the way back..I don't know "sets him off". I am not sure if it was the crowd, or the "way I answered a question", but he just started walking, really fast. I couldn't keep up with him...so I was aways behind him but I could still see him. He didn't stop, he didn't look around for me at any point, after about 15 minutes I lost him. I get back to the hotel, after calling him, and him not answering, and I tell him what he did was terrible, and he just left me there and didn't care. I then get told "I can't do this anymore".

 

To quote my other thread, I was told that he loves me very much, but that he is not a good person, and that I am so amazing that I don't deserve to be treated the way he is going to end up treating me. He thought things could be different (the reason for starting the RL in the first place), but he realizes he can't change...and that he is just verbally cruel to people and is just an angry person, and that he wants to save me from that...essentially. He wants me to be happy...and that I am better off without him.

 

Of course I am upset and I start crying and I am in complete disbelief...but then I watch him go completely stoic. He starts talking to me / treating me like a buddy or something and doesn't understand why I am upset...I guess because he is essentially "saving" me. He goes into the bathroom and tries to get an earlier flight out the next day. Then he wants to go for dinner and I agree to go...but I am completely uncomfortable, and upset, and don't really say anything. He then starts to berate me for ruining his dinner...and if I didn't want to go for dinner, then why bother??

 

So the next day, we leave for the airport. And he sits me down and tells me he is sorry for yelling at me. And reiterates that I am so amazing, that he is just going to ruin me if we continue. He gives a hug and tells me he is going to miss me so much, and that he still loves me, and that I have changed him forever, but he is meant to be alone. And walks away. There was about 5 hours before both of our flights...and he calls me to ask if I found my gate alright, I didn't answer the phone. Then he calls a few hours later and asks me to call him when I get into my city to let him know that I got in alright. I didn't answer the phone. I left a message on his when I arrived to say I got in alright. Had my friends meet me at the airport and take me for coffee and pretty much console me.

 

THe next day I get up and I start to unpack. As I am doing that, I see that he slipped the birthday present I got him months ago into my suitcase. I thought that was so freaking rotten. So, since I have been back 4 days now, I haven't played the game we play together. I haven't been around at all. Then yesterday he emailed me saying that he has a terrible feeling, and he didn't know what to do the night before..and he was looking for me and wanted to talk to me, and that he was so sorry. I didn't respond. Then I get a voicemail the next day, saying essentially 'you haven't been around...I hope everything is okay'.

 

Yes, the end result is that he doesn't want me, I get that. I just don't understand why he is contacting me if he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like he is trying to goad me into a responce, because he has been expecting one...and hasn't gotten it. I can't hide forever, I would like to play my game again...but I just don't feel like I have a thick enough skin yet. I just feel sick and heartbroken. Does anyone have any insight or advise?

 

Thanks for listening

[CherishG]

**hugz to u ***

sorry to hear what happened 2 u weary.

I think you should just stay away and not call or return his phone calls.

I really don't know him personally, but judging from what he's done to you, there's NO EXCUSE for treating anyone like that.

If you ask me, and I'm sure you have heard this alot, but you really do deserve better.

He must have some serious committment issues, or an anger management problem, or worst, he's hiding something and is consumed with guilt.

I don't wanna tell you things that you don't wanna hear, but just know you can do this...

I think I can speak for myself and the rest of LS, are on the same boat as you, hurting, suffering and confused like hell.

BUT...that's no reason to let him have the upper hand and have him treat you like that.

I know, I know, this blows, it sucks, to be fooled and misled to believe that the relationship had a future...

but someday, not sure when, he will realize what a great loss he had.

Keep yourself busy, go out and be with friends, some say exercise.

If you truly miss gaming, then find another gaming forum, or change ur screen name?

but in all honesty, right now is a time to heal...

hope u feel better and we're all here 4 u

[Geishawhelk]

From what I can read into this, he has some sort of emotional/personality problem.

This isn't you.

It's him.

He needs couselling.

You need to put loads of space between you and just not fall under his controlling ways.

He's damaged goods, and needs repairing.

but only he can 'fix' him.

not you.

[RainbowBlue]

I too am really sorry, this has been a rollercoaster ride for you. But you need to be strong. He is not for you, h is not good for you. He sounds like he is being honest with you, and if so then he wants spare you the pain of loving someone like him but he also wants you. So its up to you to let him go. This pain is nothing compared to future pain with this guy, and he will always be able to say to you "I warned you!". You like the game, so send him an email saying you thought it would work and you had strong feelings for him, but he is not for you. Do not defend yourself. Do not take him back. Do not talk to him on skype or the phone. Keep your communications short. I know its so hard to listen to your head and not your heart, but you have to be strong.

[muse08]

sounds too familiar...(sorry this is so long, but pls read)

weary, i am truly feeling your pain. geisha is absolutely right! he has some serious emotional problems and it needs to be resolved. that's his problem not yours...do not allow this to consume you or make you second guess yourself.

 

i'm going through a VERY similar situation right now...so similar that my jaw dropped when i read your post. i'm wondering if this is some new trend or "condition" amongst men...to act one way one minute, then do a 360 the next. what i'm about to say may give you some insight...

 

my last ex- and i just broke up about 3 weeks ago. we live about 2 hrs away from each other. we met online as well. we chatted almost every single day online for several weeks, exchanging pics,then started talking on the phone frequently. he would call when i was at work or on my way to work or after we both got home. so we decide to meet each other. he comes to my city. we spend 3 str8 days together. though things were steamy at times and we were up under each other, we had already decided to wait for s*x until we made a more serious commitment to one another. we had some VERY CLOSE calls 'cause we're both very affectionate, but we managed to avoid going all the way. our conversations were engaging, we went to dinner, movie, we couldn't keep our eyes or hands off of each other. he was supposed to only be here for us to go to dinner, that's it! he ends up staying 3 days! And on the last day he wanted to get another outing in, to any place I wanted to go. things just flowed...he even came back 2 weeks later…weird things that stood out in my mind: TIC: (he has this tic that makes him shake his head and twist his neck something serious. I asked if it was a voluntary or involuntary. he said “well, due to sports, and it may or maynot be a habit).CONTROL: when i would tell him i was busy and needed to get off the phone soon(whether i was at work or at home), he would try and continue the conversation as if he didn't hear me.then decide to end it when he was ready. as if to say we will end the conversation when I(he) wants to. he was a very mild mannered guy for the most part, but talked excessively sometimes. to the point where i was really wondering if he was aware of it] i'm very blunt and would tell him when i thought he was talking too much or was beating a topic too much. he says he loved me being that honest with him. we also discussed what we both wanted and did not want in our lives. he made it clear that he was not looking for just a friend with benefits. he wanted to be more serious minded and think towards starting a family. we spoke about the job possibilities for us both in the places where we lived and/or wanted to live.

 

BUT on the first visit i started noticing things like him staring at me a little too hard and weird-like. and i had to tell him it was freaking me out after like the 2nd or 3rd time. HE called it the "crazy about me" stare (how about the just "crazy" stare). Then conversations about him being a DEPRESSIVE and me making him want things that he knew he couldn’t have right now(then). He told me he had thought about me living where he was. once he said this I was slow to disclose my similar feelings b/c it wouldn’t help anything if he already was saying he couldn’t have it and sounded like he was fighting it. his/our logic was that it was too soon to be thinking like this. and that "when you love someone, you don't ask them to make a selfish move" like being with him when he's not stable.True! we had both just ended relationships, but his ex- was crazy. So then, he starts bringing up the issue of my safety. He says he’s concerned about my “safety” being around him and his environment during this time. From the jump, I told him I wanted no low-NO drama in my life. His ex was drama. so in our last convo- I say to him “why don’t you just say you can’t see me anymore, so we don’t have to keep discussing this issue of safety.” So he says he couldn’t see me anymore for the reasons of safety and additionally he didn’t think this was a “SANE” time to ask me to be with him or move to be with him. note: I never said I was going to move to be with him. I would have considered it, but I never brought that up, he did. with this said plus the weird things that stood out in my mind, I got some advice from others and started putting some pieces together, ‘cause I was broken up over him saying he couldn’t see me anymore. I am STILL trying to process it. on some days it gets really sad. So from several DIFFERENT sources, I’m inclined to believe that he may be bi-polar. He never used that word. Instead he would talk to me side-ways, hinting at stuff about his depression, low confidence, lack of focus at work, etc. here’s the kicker weary, HE initiates contact after this incident, as your ex did. I was trying to get over him and accept things. but he calls me and left 10-12 text messages the next day saying how he is sorry but he didn’t want to bring “mess” into my life, because I said I didn’t want drama. this is true, so leave me alone and let me heal…! (I thought to myself)But he emails me just last week asking how I was doing and telling me that he is resolving his drama, etc. I didn’t respond until2 days later with a one liner acknowledging his message, but telling him I had nothing much to say due to the drama that had taken control of his life.

 

So basically, your guy/ex definitely sounds like he has some personality issue/disorder. Aside from the anger, he sounds similar to what I’ve mentioned. i've been advised to take the my ex's hints for what they are and allow him to work his stuff out. doesn't mean i will be here waiting, but when men are unstable like this it really could be unsafe being around them and any other drama they may have.

i wish you well WEARY~stay strong!

[lonelyandfrustrated]

Stay far, far away from him! I'd almost guarantee that he's bi-polar like Muse said, along with some other really nice personality disorders. My ex was bi-polar, narcissistic, and just cruel. Once we were at a restaurant and I went to the ladies' room and came back to the table to find that he'd left! Yeah, just up and left. Just cause 'he felt like it.' lol. Stay away from the weirdos! RUN!

[Hersheys]

 

To quote my other thread, I was told that he loves me very much, but that he is not a good person, and that I am so amazing that I don't deserve to be treated the way he is going to end up treating me. He thought things could be different (the reason for starting the RL in the first place), but he realizes he can't change...and that he is just verbally cruel to people and is just an angry person, and that he wants to save me from that...essentially. He wants me to be happy...and that I am better off without him.

 

Of course I am upset and I start crying and I am in complete disbelief...but then I watch him go completely stoic. He starts talking to me / treating me like a buddy or something and doesn't understand why I am upset...I guess because he is essentially "saving" me. He goes into the bathroom and tries to get an earlier flight out the next day. Then he wants to go for dinner and I agree to go...but I am completely uncomfortable, and upset, and don't really say anything. He then starts to berate me for ruining his dinner...and if I didn't want to go for dinner, then why bother??

 

So the next day, we leave for the airport. And he sits me down and tells me he is sorry for yelling at me. And reiterates that I am so amazing, that he is just going to ruin me if we continue. He gives a hug and tells me he is going to miss me so much, and that he still loves me, and that I have changed him forever, but he is meant to be alone. And walks away. There was about 5 hours before both of our flights...and he calls me to ask if I found my gate alright, I didn't answer the phone. Then he calls a few hours later and asks me to call him when I get into my city to let him know that I got in alright. I didn't answer the phone. I left a message on his when I arrived to say I got in alright. Had my friends meet me at the airport and take me for coffee and pretty much console me.

 

THe next day I get up and I start to unpack. As I am doing that, I see that he slipped the birthday present I got him months ago into my suitcase. I thought that was so freaking rotten. So, since I have been back 4 days now, I haven't played the game we play together. I haven't been around at all. Then yesterday he emailed me saying that he has a terrible feeling, and he didn't know what to do the night before..and he was looking for me and wanted to talk to me, and that he was so sorry. I didn't respond. Then I get a voicemail the next day, saying essentially 'you haven't been around...I hope everything is okay'.

 

Yes, the end result is that he doesn't want me, I get that. I just don't understand why he is contacting me if he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like he is trying to goad me into a responce, because he has been expecting one...and hasn't gotten it. I can't hide forever, I would like to play my game again...but I just don't feel like I have a thick enough skin yet. I just feel sick and heartbroken. Does anyone have any insight or advise?

 

 

Looks like you're in for a long and arduous mindf**** if you let this continue.

[Weary30]

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate everyone's insight. Sometimes I need an 'outsider' to look in and give me an honest perspective.

 

I think the next step is inititating...what in the world do I do now? My friends have been awesome...we have been going out all week and they have been trying to ensure that I have some fun and a good laugh...but also let me know honestly what they think..and let me tear up a little

 

The part about the game is what worrys me. Its an MMORPG, for those of you who don't know what that is, its essentially a huge game where you play with 'real people' from all over the world. So I essentially have 3 options open to me.

 

1) Play my game, even with him there and not let him goad me into a reaction or conversation, essentially ignore his existence, and have fun.

 

2)Leave the server I play on and play on a different server. This costs money, and then I lose the online friendships I have established with the people there already. But then, it also limits the ways he can contact me to phone and email, both of which can be blocked.

 

3) Leave the game all together. I don't really want to do this, as I have a lot of fun gaming, and have done it for a long time, but if it gives me peace of mind I'll do it.

 

I am just trying to minimize the ways I can get hurt further. I guess I just worry...if I do stay put where I am and keep playing, I feel like I am left vulnerable...and that eventually he will get to me..on an emotional level. Like the previous posted said...I don't need a further mindF. On the other hand..I loathe the fact that me leaving will mean that he wins...he changes nothing, there is no consequence, and it is me that has to leave my online buds.

 

Not really sure what to do at this point.

[Hersheys]

If you feel strong enough to carry on with the game and think like "ex never happened", you can go for # 1 option BUT you will have a hard time moving on as you will remain in contact with him, you will know what he's up to, both of you will wait for a reaction from one another.

 

If you have feelings for him, it's best to go for what will help you move on and forget him. Don't worry about what he'd think. 2 & 3 are your best options.

 

Go for what you think will avoid any future hurt, thinking, problems and confusion on your part.

[muse08]

how about you just go with option #3 until you feel you're strong enough to return to the same site and server. who knows, he may decide to leave the site as well. if so, when you return, it's a win/win for you.

things will get easier for you one day at a time...

[Storyrider]

:eek: :mad: :( :eek:

 

That being said...

 

...both of us can have little patience and have a tendency to get irritated easily.

 

And both of you are more comfortable relating on line than in person (?) An entire week together is one hell of an intense first date, even for the most gregarious, yeilding of couples.

 

Go back on your gaming site if and when you feel like it, and not before. There's no wrong answer.

[Weary30]

Well it's finally taken a week, but now I am angry. It's funny, when I called my friend on my trip, aside from being worried about me being there by myself she was right PO'd. And she had said I should be angry. And I honestly couldn't conjure up any anger, irritation...anything ..except disbelief and hurt.

 

So tonight...I decide to wait until really really late to go onto my game. I get on and I decide to take him off my 'friends' list, which notifies you when they come online. I shouldn't have done that, because like 1/2 hour later I am caught completely off guard. He says hi. I just sat there like an idiot. I say hi back. And as I am logging out he asks me what I have been up to, and that he hasn't seen me in awhile. So it's taken a week, and now I am angry.

 

I seriously wanted to scream at him. HE wanted to be alone so damned bad, so WHY is he talking to me? There are plenty of other ways to alleviate his own guilt (IE rationalizing it away like he is used to), without talking to ME. I am angry because..I fly to meet him, I get horridly dumped, I feel like crap...and now I can't do something I enjoy...AND then the icing on the cake is now I have to avoid it? Can the guy interfer ANYMORE? It's not fair that I will have to leave my friends in an effort to avoid him.

 

I haven't done NC in quite a few years. I don't remember all the rules....but can I at least Email him or something and ask him not to contact me?

[Hersheys]

can I at least Email him or something and ask him not to contact me?

 

You don't have to do that. Your silence will speak volumes. He will eventually get the point.

[Weary30]

Yeah...last night I went upstairs and there was a txt from him saying that if I didn't want to talk to him, to tell him and he would stop bothering me. Is that still a no-go in terms of contact?

 

I don't believe he is a stupid man, but I am starting to think he is getting wonkier. The fact that I didn't reply to his email or his voicemail earlier this week should be indication that I don't want to talk to him. The fact that he is trying so hard to "be friends" by acting like nothing is wrong unnerves me.

[muse08]

Yeah...last night I went upstairs and there was a txt from him saying that if I didn't want to talk to him, to tell him and he would stop bothering me. Is that still a no-go in terms of contact?

 

I don't believe he is a stupid man, but I am starting to think he is getting wonkier. The fact that I didn't reply to his email or his voicemail earlier this week should be indication that I don't want to talk to him. The fact that he is trying so hard to "be friends" by acting like nothing is wrong unnerves me.

...yeah weary, texting would still be considered a form of contact and by NC rules is a no-no/no-go. but who says you have to do NC. you can do what you feel you need to do.

 

he might not be stupid, but yes he may be a little "off" as we mentioned b4. to keep pursuing YOU after HE'S the one who wanted to end things and only be friends. i think he may be a bit of a sadist. why else would you inflict hurt on someone and try to witness the hurt by making contact...

[Storyrider]

...yeah weary, texting would still be considered a form of contact and by NC rules is a no-no/no-go. but who says you have to do NC. you can do what you feel you need to do.

 

he might not be stupid, but yes he may be a little "off" as we mentioned b4. to keep pursuing YOU after HE'S the one who wanted to end things and only be friends. i think he may be a bit of a sadist. why else would you inflict hurt on someone and try to witness the hurt by making contact...

Because he doesn't really know what he wants. He panicked.

[Weary30]

I know I don't have to do NC....but I feel it is the best for me. Even right now I feel guilty that I have been rude by not answering him. I have always been bad for giving people the benefit of the doubt too many times, in an attempt to not be wrong. I know that talking to him will just be torture and I will constantly over analyze the things that he says, and try to twist them into 'See...he still cares about you!!!'. I want it to be over and I want it to be finished.

 

I have never been able to be friends with an ex...ever. He knows that, so why he is trying I don't know. I have always been the type that needs to put a lot of distence between me and an ex to be over it. Then after I am over it...they never seem to have any outstanding qualities that would make good friends. I don't know, I guess I am black and white on the issue...but..my friends love me and take care of me and listen to me, and would do anything to shield me from pain, this person obviously doesn't do that, so they can't really be my friend..in my mind anyways.

 

It's all about him feeling better. A 2 line email snuck in at work about being sorry doesn't cut it, because I honestly don't think he knows what he is sorry about. The fact that I haven't been around in pretty much a week and he keeps asking 'what I have been up to' seems to make him nervous. My entire mode of thinking seems to be that I am not reaxting like he expected me to, and now he doesn't know what to do with it.

 

*shrug*

 

And I know some of you are probably thinking...'Just leave it be, don't be concerned about what he does, think about you', I do fully agree with you there. My process to get the emotions to be less raw is to be logical and rationalize and strive to understand the mystery...thinking versus feeling is what helps me to let go.

 

Oh and storyrider...I have always known him to be impulsive...he would always say he was envious of the way I could be cautious about everything and think of every possible angle before doing something. Maybe he didn't want breakup and he reacted before thinking. BUT...he still had time on our trip to retract that, and didn't. Further, he has had a week to do something and hasn't (Unless you count a 2 line email and a 30 sec voicemail). He is panicked now because I am not reacting the way he envisioned. I am sure he expected one of my big emails, with me pouring my heart out. I almost did that...but stopped. My theory is, once you dump me, you are no longer privy to my emotions or thoughts..you get apathy and nothing more. Yet another reason why I prefer NC...then.. even when I have weak moments or tears or voice cracking etc, they never see it.

[muse08]

Because he doesn't really know what he wants. He panicked.

yeah, this is possible...

is this common for STORYRIDER? are you male?

[muse08]

right on! with this comment weary.

 

"My theory is, once you dump me, you are no longer privy to my emotions or thoughts..you get apathy and nothing more."

 

this should give you stength in knowing that you still do have some self control. he does not know exactly how you're feeling and this is driving him a little nuts. why men are like this, i don't know.

[Storyrider]

yeah, this is possible...

is this common for STORYRIDER? are you male?

No, I'm a woman. (And I'm not advocating for her to maintain contact. She should stay away from him for as long as she wants to. Probably the longer the better. She's right about the overanalyzing thing.)

 

I'm just putting the facts together. He has trouble communicating effectively. He cared for her enough to travel thousands of miles to see her. They seemingly got along very well at first (I'm assuming the chemistry was good? She didn't specify that. So I'll admit that is speculation.) Then they got overexposed to each other for a week, to the point of emotional saturation. The way they met was like having the pressures of your first date and your honeymoon all rolled into one?! He freaked. He pushed her away, as hard as he could. Now he's feeling her absence. If not, why would he bother contacting her, unless it is just to relieve feelings of guilt--that is another possibility.

[LikeCharlotte]

He cared for her enough to travel thousands of miles to see her. They seemingly got along very well at first (I'm assuming the chemistry was good? She didn't specify that. So I'll admit that is speculation.) Then they got overexposed to each other for a week, to the point of emotional saturation. The way they met was like having the pressures of your first date and your honeymoon all rolled into one?! He freaked. He pushed her away, as hard as he could. Now he's feeling her absence. If not, why would he bother contacting her, unless it is just to relieve feelings of guilt--that is another possibility.

I fully agree. In fact I experienced this myself recently. I didn't run away but I came very close. I totally and completely panicked in a very similar situation. I think OP is understandably hurt but I don't think her friend is a sociopath. There may be some guilt involved but it sounds much more like fear. In my experience people who tell you that they are "horrible" are afraid to let anyone too close to them in order to protect themselves from pain (or they have a back-up lined up and don't want to admit it). Anyone who actually manipulates to that degree isn't going to warn you. I'm not saying that he doesn't hurt or manipulate - just in a less calculated way than he is portraying. I honestly think he is exaggerating it to save himself - or because it saves him from having to make a choice (can happen if there is another girl). Self-preservation is a strong motivator. Also, there is an air of arrogance with someone who wants to be a savior (not wanting to hurt you) while hurting you. Ever hear of narcissistic personality disorder? I'm just throwing things out there. I might need more information to make a real judgment and I'm likely projecting a bit.

 

Weary- I am sorry that it didn't work out but I get the strong feeling that this person really cares for you but cannot see you hurt and sometimes that makes it hurt all the more. As for NC, just tell him you need some time or that you don't want to speak again. Its that simple. There seems to be no reason that you can't simply say it and end contact.

 

I would also like to add that it took lots of strength for me to recognize the intensity of my own (similar) situation and try to have empathy for him - and understand my own over-the-top hurt and fear. It was very much as Storyrider said 'all rolled into one' and that really is overwhelming for anyone. I was lucky enough to have someone who is reasonable enough to see that we were both under unusual pressures, the fear dissipated and we resolved to enjoy our time and let the mutual panic attack go. I don't know if that helps at all, but his being unable to do that speaks volumes. Hope you are feeling better.

[thirtythree]

Hey Weary - I think that the best thing to do is accept that this guy's not for you. And be comfortable with your choice to not want him as a part of your life anymore.

 

No blame, no regrets, no strings. You can't forget him - and nor should you. But just move on and feel great and live life

[LikeCharlotte]

Addition: I think you are making the right choice. No matter what he says now. Its done. You can do better.