Die Hard Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Hi my gf of ~4 months has told me I cannot listen to music anymore while we have sex. i asked her why not and she says she just doesn't like the idea. i asked if i was less attentive or something and she said no, she just doesn't like it. i told her i didn't appreciate her telling me i cannot do something. had she simply asked for me to turn the music off i would have, but it wasn't just that. she told me to turn it off and that i'm to never do it again, period. can any women give me some insight on this: is music during sex not cool? i personally love music and sex and always enjoyed doing two things i love at once. this could be a deal-breaker for me. i don't have to listen to music during every sexual encounter but i don't think it should be forbidden completely either. i've been with women who didn't like it but they never forbade me from doing it at least occasionally.
oceangrl Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 It depends, what type of music do you turn on? omg, I hope its not country!
tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Who are these women you're dating? I've never heard a girl complain once about having music on during sex.
Kamille Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Wow I've never heard of that. What kind of music do you listen to?
Author Die Hard Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 It depends, what type of music do you turn on? omg, I hope its not country! yeah i thought of that too and i'm going to ask her. i feel like an idiot having to discuss this with her but i'm not willing to give it up completely. i never would have imagined this would become an issue. no it's not country although i do like some country music. here are the songs i had looping the night this happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk8VZgJkpeg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzqJyd9mycc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2snP7rGP6g maybe i should stop looping music and just use the radio or something. but that sucks because they don't always play music i like when the time is right. does anyone see an issue with these songs a women might not like or that might have turned her off to music and sex? i'm starting to think she never liked it but didn't say anything. now that she thinks she has me she can start giving orders.
Kamille Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 I notice those songs are good dancing songs. Maybe what bothers her is that you seem to be more into the music then into the intimacy of the moment or into her? I agree with you however that asking you to never listen to music during sex is a big compromise. What if you asked her to select the music?
Author Die Hard Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 Who are these women you're dating? I've never heard a girl complain once about having music on during sex.well besides this one the last time a women complained was because the sounds of sex turned her on and she said the music interfered. i was sympathetic to that and complied and she was sympathetic to the fact that i liked it occasionally and she was cool with that. we broke up due to non music related issues
bobdole Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 I'm male, but when there is music playing while having sex I can't climax. It some how distracts me and gets irritating after awhile. Same thing probably happened to her, got irritated and snapped at you. I don't snap at my girl I just shut it off or ask her to shut if off, but if I was irritated enough (like she wanted to play music every time with sex) then I might be kinda snappy as well.
oceangrl Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Sex is such an emotional thing for some girls. I think maybe your music choice is affecting her emotional state/mood during sex. For guys its easy to get off....just 1, and 2 and done. But girls...it can be 1, 2 5, 3, 5... 7 7 7 7 7 I'm not saying that she has a right to tell you what to do, but I think that might explain why she brought it to your attention. Maybe you find out what type of music turns her on....and incorporate it them into your list.
Author Die Hard Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 I notice those songs are good dancing songs. Maybe what bothers her is that you seem to be more into the music then into the intimacy of the moment or into her? I agree with you however that asking you to never listen to music during sex is a big compromise. What if you asked her to select the music?i asked her if i was less intimate or something and she said no but maybe she was lying? maybe she felt i was in my own little world or something? she can't pick the music. she likes classical, which i like some of it but it just doesn't do it for me with sex. maybe Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture would but that's about it.
tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 does anyone see an issue with these songs a women might not like or that might have turned her off to music and sex? Well the first two are kind of cheesy. I like those songs in general but I wouldn't be able to f**k to Bruce Springsteen either. 1979 seems like a decent choice though. It might just be the selection. Do you guys have different musical tastes? For guys its easy to get off....just 1, and 2 and done. But girls...it can be 1, 2 5, 3, 5... 7 7 7 7 7 Friends!
Kamille Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 she can't pick the music. she likes classical, which i like some of it but it just doesn't do it for me with sex. maybe Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture would but that's about it. Haha! I think we're on to something. You two just don't like the same music. You can't do it to classical, she can't do it to classic rock. Maybe you could take turns being djs
Author Die Hard Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 Haha! I think we're on to something. You two just don't like the same music. You can't do it to classical, she can't do it to classic rock. Maybe you could take turns being djswell we're going to be discussing this tonight she just doesn't know it yet. i'll check back in after the convo. this ought to be fun. i'm half expecting to be called a perv for focusing on this issue and bringing it up again. she's going to let out a deep sigh and roll her eyes when i bring it up.
tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Put on Flight of the Bumblebee and f**k her as fast as you can.
Author Die Hard Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 Put on Flight of the Bumblebee and f**k her as fast as you can.i'm just wondering what to do if she continues to forbid it. break up or try sneaking an ipod into bed.
KismetGirl Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 yeah i thought of that too and i'm going to ask her. i feel like an idiot having to discuss this with her but i'm not willing to give it up completely. i never would have imagined this would become an issue. no it's not country although i do like some country music. here are the songs i had looping the night this happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk8VZgJkpeg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzqJyd9mycc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2snP7rGP6g maybe i should stop looping music and just use the radio or something. but that sucks because they don't always play music i like when the time is right. does anyone see an issue with these songs a women might not like or that might have turned her off to music and sex? i'm starting to think she never liked it but didn't say anything. now that she thinks she has me she can start giving orders. Oh, now I get it. I dont know how old you are, you didnt say, but Im 26 and I can sufficiently say those songs do NOT turn me on in the slightest. To be fair, the first to made me start laughing when I imagined getting all seductive and sexy with someone and then "dancing in the dark" or "boogie man" comes on. I wouldnt be mad at the guy, I'd burst out laughing, which is not always conducive to sex dude! 1979 is a good song for sure, but its not really a sexy song, per say. I dont think her problem is music, i think her problem is your taste in "sex" music! Sorry, Im still giggling at the thought of those first two songs just coming on while im trying to get all down and dirty. haha. Seriously, try something less upbeat, less techno or dancey or disco. try something harder, slower, sexier. There are many different genres for chrissake! Depends on what kind of lovemaking you wanna do! Slow and sensual? Dirty and nasty? Hardcore f**king? Maybe you shoudl ask HER to pick a few songs. Try googling "music to make love to" or "music to have sex to" and i guarantee you'll get tons of playlist suggestions people have put up: In my mind, always popular, dependant on mood, of course: Principles of Lust- Engima (a classic sexy song, especially with the girl panting heavily, woosh, gets me going) Closer- nine inch nails (more of the "hardcore f**king" type, this one is up to the individual....) colorblind- counting grows (slow and sensual, lovemaking type of music) take our time- TLC angel or any other song by massive attack queer- garbage touch it- monifah (this one makes me laugh, but hell, she's saying if your eally wanna touch , do you really wanna touch it tooooonniiiiight) I Feel You (throb mix) by Depeche Mode (SEXY as hell, the beat is meant for f**ing, seriously, sorry for my expletives, but lovemaking or "sex" just doesn't fit with this song. it's for f**ing) Portishead- Roads Wicked Game- Chris Isaac Radiohead etc etc, I could go on and on but , and I could be wrong, i think her problem was possibly the type of music you put on. Im sorry, its just not terribly sexy stuff! Soooooooo, try asking her what kind of music she likes, maybe? And perhaps you can come to some compromise? Some girls like slower stuff, some like faster, but I ve never really met any that HATED music on, even if its just on the lower side in the background, right? Unless she really just hates music during sex. In which case , sorry dude, mabe it aint meant to be. Yep. Good luck!
prettybaby Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 Dude, the songs you posted would really turn me off too. That's not good makeout music at all! Pick something sexier. I love music during sex, but it has to be hot and sexy, like some smooth RnB tunes or something like that. Heck, even Sade is better than Bruce Springsteen when it comes to the bedroom.
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 this is kind of weird.. I love music.. I always have music playing while having sex.. this is part of it. Maybe she doesn't like the choice of the songs.. have her choose what she likes.
Ms. Red Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 Zeppelin always gets me hot and bothered. I think every one's taste is different. Bruce would definitely kill the moment for me. I like this one also
Author Die Hard Posted October 17, 2008 Author Posted October 17, 2008 Dude, the songs you posted would really turn me off too. That's not good makeout music at all! Pick something sexier. I love music during sex, but it has to be hot and sexy, like some smooth RnB tunes or something like that. Heck, even Sade is better than Bruce Springsteen when it comes to the bedroom.i wasn't going to post this but you guys have to understand she does not like soft slow sex. trust me boogie man works well for hardcore pelvis to ass slapping sex. well it works for me anyway. you know i thought of something too. she asked me several months ago and again a couple weeks ago to call her a slut and a whore during sex and i refused. i wonder if this is retaliation. she's outa luck if it is because i cannot do that. it turns me off in every way imaginable. i pull her hair and slap her like she asks but i can't do the name calling stuff. i don't even like the hair pulling and slapping but i can live with it.
KismetGirl Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 Put on some NIN or White Zombie. yeah, i'd imagine a little "closer" action might be something she'd like given that! But hey to be honest, i love the whole ass slapping and hair pulling thing , trust me, handcuffs, everything, i dig it big time. But those first two songs you put on still would make me laugh out loud buddy. They're fun songs to get drunk to in a bar maybe? Little too cheesy for the lovin' in my opinion! So, tell her she's a bad girl, instead of a whore. It's somewhere in between, no? She must just like when you talk to her. Tell her' Yeah that's right, you bad girl, you love it when I give you that big, hard...." well, you get the idea. Wooooooooooo
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 my fetish album for the massages is Enigma, Love, Sensuality, Devotion... and at this song.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJ1q3u_fD4w I climb on the table and let my body do the massage... I love the beat.. that's when it gets wild.. lol
KismetGirl Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 my fetish album for the massages is Enigma, Love, Sensuality, Devotion... and at this song.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJ1q3u_fD4w I climb on the table and let my body do the massage... I love the beat.. that's when it gets wild.. lol oooooh lizzie that song is awesome, it is sooo going on next time mm comes over! I lov enigma. by the way, i dont know if i ever mentioned, but if that is your photo on your profile, you've got a lovely rack. Tee hee.
Ms. Red Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 i wasn't going to post this but you guys have to understand she does not like soft slow sex. trust me boogie man works well for hardcore pelvis to ass slapping sex. well it works for me anyway. you know i thought of something too. she asked me several months ago and again a couple weeks ago to call her a slut and a whore during sex and i refused. i wonder if this is retaliation. she's outa luck if it is because i cannot do that. it turns me off in every way imaginable. i pull her hair and slap her like she asks but i can't do the name calling stuff. i don't even like the hair pulling and slapping but i can live with it. Sounds like you may not be sexually compatible. If you can't go where she wants you to then it may be boring & hum drum for her. And Boogie Man may work for you but for someone who wants it rough, that's the last thing they want to hear. I would start LMAO as someone else above all ready said. Maybe your girl held back the laugh & instead said you "cannot" play music. You do definitely need to talk about this in length.
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