billyb88 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Alright where to begin.. Im a 20yr old guy, married with almost a 2yr old daughter. I have been with my wife for 5 years, married 1. We met on the internet actually, and talked for around a year before irionically her parents moved to where I lived. We started dating immediately and everything was great. 3 months later it turns out she pregnant. Now this was the girl I lost my virginity too, and basically the only SERIOUS relationship I ever had. I was scared at first, but my daughter turned out to be the best thing ever in my life. I cant remember exactly when, but my wife had always said she thinks she bipolar because her mom and grandma was and she showed symptons. It was putting a little damper on our relatinship at the time so we decided to get her counseling and go from there. We went to counsiling around 4-5 times, and she ended up getting daignosed with depression and put on anti-depressants. I thought everything would get better from there but it didn't. Her anger never got better, her pessimistic attitude never got better, and so on. Fast forward to today. We still get in fights quiet frequent(she has physically hit,kicked,and slapped me) and I have never laid a hand on her. And I dont know when it happened, but I am not IN love with her anymore. I love her with all my heart and want her to be happy, but I do not feel what I did 3 years ago. I have tried for the past year almost to change this feeling around or hope that she will somehow change. It always is good for a couple weeks then goes back to the same thing. We got in another fight today and I told her it was over... She starts the crying and the guilt trip and I fall for it everytime. I have always been the shy guy and low self esteem. I put women on a pedistal compaired to men. I dont know how to officially end it and stick to my guns, or if this is really what I want. We live with my mom and her parents live about 10min away. We are very finacially stressed(who isnt?) and I do worry about how I will be finacially if we get a divorce. Also I will only get to see my daughters on the weekends or whatever, which is the last thing I want. Plus her parents arent the greatest, and I feel bad MAKING her move there if we split. Any advice will be appreciated..
quankanne Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I think you've got two separate issues to deal with here: your wife's psychological condition and your desire to not be in an abusive relationship anymore. Yes, I said abusive, because her possible bi-polar condition is no excuse to physically or emotionally treat you the way she has, it's unhealthy for all the parties involved. get to counselling, both individual and couples counselling, a good counsellor wll help give you the tools you need to deal with issues as they arise. Also, try to help her get the proper medical/psychological help she needs, because if you mention divorce while she's unhinged, there could be serious repercussions. can't really help you on the financial part, I know divorce and child support can really take a chunk out of what you earn, but the more worrying issue in y'alls case would be your wife's mental well-being and the safety of your little one. get to a counselor and see what options you have. And good luck with all of this, it's going to consume a lot of mental energy. hugs, quank
sparkey64 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Dude, abuse is abuse. Even though you are a big strong man and when she hits you it doesn't really hurt. It hurts... emotionally and believe me its like death by a thousand cuts. My situation is similar to yours (girlfriend got pregnant while I was in university, we got married) No after 18 years of marriage, Im sitting here by myself. You don't need to take that for the next 20 years...
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