Titan Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I posted my story on here some time ago, but to sum it up shortly I'm 28 years old and my wife has been moved out since August 24. She filed for a divorce and is trying to be nice about everything, but I am so stressed financially that is all I worry about and I can't grieve emotionally. I'm coming to terms that my marriage is over - i've been with her 10 years and married 3 - but I am starting to accept the fact that it is time to move on. I just don't know where I am moving on to? I know I need to simplify things, but I have a truck I can't get rid of and a home I can't afford along with my truck. Plus, in this economy our home is worth less than we owe so we can't sell it. If she wants the house i'm starting to think she can have it. If she doesn't I will there until it sells, but she would have to pay half the mortgage or else I can't afford it. Her name is on the mortgage too. I'm just lost, confused and scared as to what my options are. I can't think of a roomate to live with, and I really don't want to, and I can't just get a cheap apartment because I have two dogs and I am not getting rid of them - they are my boys. I'm scared of the thought of me - at 28 - having to go back to my parents to save money for a home or pay off my truck. I just feel like a failure! My life was great and FLASH - gone in a blink of an eye and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm trying to take one thing at a time but everything is overwelming me and my future looks bleak. How did everyone deal with their financial struggles after a divorce when they didn't make much money?
a4a Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Rent out the house. refinance if possible or needed. Move into what you can afford and where you can keep your dogs...... get a second part time job for 1 year. Keep that part time job until you can pay off the vehicle. If you have to move in with your parents... pay them rent as well. Make a plan that will work to get you back up on your feet in 16 months or less....... see how the real estate market is then.
Gunny376 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Your going to have to scrabble to find anwers to the questions, and solutions to the problems. First off, she's not off the hook for the mortgage just because she left and moved out, so she's going to need to "pony-up" and come up with her half of the mortgage. If she's not forthcoming, then you need to drag her happy-@ss into court and garnish her wages. If she's got to move back in with Mom and Dad ~ "Oh-well?" She's the one that opted out? Meanwhile you need to sell the truck, and get into something you can tote the note on. Foreget image, think transportation. I would recommend a good used Toytoa, they don't stop for anything execept oil, gas, and tires! Damn good cars! You're probally are going to have to cut back. Basic cable if any! Basic phone service, if not pay-as-you-go. Phone cards and pre-pay. Keep posting, I have other resourses for you, but its late and I need to go to bed.
Author Titan Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 At the moment I am living in the house and she is paying me half of the mortgage until we figure out what to do. She wants to get an apt next month so she wants to get off the house ASAP. I've got news for her, I can't afford the house and my truck so I will have to see if she wants the house. I'm assuming she will take the house even though she doesn't want it, because she will not want to pay me half of the mortgage as well as paying for her apt - that would get old really quick. We can't just sell the house because in this economy - in Michigan - our house is worth less than what we owe. - I"m not sure how much because we need to get it appraised. I would love to put the house up for sale and live there well she pays half, while I pay down my truck, but that won't happen for long. Also, as I said, I have two dogs - which i'm not getting rid of - so an apt. is not an option. As for my truck, I can't get rid of that easily either because who wants a big crew cab 2WD truck that is a gas guzzler. Even if I did find someone to buy it, I will have a remaining balance of at least 5K or so to pay off. I've exhausted all my options, but If I can't get rid of my truck I can't afford to be on my own until I pay the truck down enough to dump it and buy a 3K beater to drive. Then, and only then, can I afford to purchase a new home. I'm 28 and my whole life is changing. I know that once I get through this hard part it'll most definitely get better, but for now I'm seriously thinking I will have to get the wife to take the house and move in with my folks in order to pay down my truck and save for a house. I really hate to do that - I feel like a loser - but that is what family is for and I really don't have many options. The financial stress of living on my own right now with all the bills overtakes the downfalls of moving in with my folks for a bit. Getting a roomate is not an option because I just don't want that. You're probally are going to have to cut back. Basic cable if any! Basic phone service, if not pay-as-you-go. Phone cards and pre-pay. I've cancelled the phone service at home and I have a work phone that I am using. My cable and internet bill is still high because I have HD and really don't want an HD t.v with no HD ya know.
amaysngrace Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 All I can say is relax. Three years. That's the norm to recover from divorce. Give yourself a break here. Divorce is financially straining on mostly everyone. Sometimes you barely keep your head above water but somehow you will make it. Take it one day at a time (for the next three years anyway).
Author Titan Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 All I can say is relax. Is my anxiety showing through my post that easily I realize it'll take time, but I just need to put this behind me and move one.
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