Peter_pan Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Basically I havnt heard a peep from her. for some reason smells, thoughts and places are coming back into my head about her. I really dont know what to do, memories are eating me up. i have met a new girl and things have been up and down mainly due to her still being in contact with her ex. and It got me thinking that maybe i was a bad person to block my ex out my life like i did since we shared a huge chunk of our early days together, each others first etc. what i dont understand is why when i reached out to her a while back she ignored me, completely. and has done ever since, i.e no happy birthday, nothing. no doubt thats coming from him telling her to have nothing to do with me. i changed my life for my ex. i moved away from my home into a house with her and we lived together for 2 years i even changed my life so that i could be in the same university. and then she leaves me for someone new that she meets at a night club...after 3.5years of being together and it tore me apart. initially i used NC as a tool that i hoped would bring her back to me but it didn't. looking at her fb profile picture would indicate she is still with the rat that stole her from me even though i knew at one point they split up due to trust. I just hate the fact that she did what she did to me and i said nor did anything about it. And now i live in a different country and or lives are completely different. met her brother in town a while back, he said he didnt no wether to talk to me but he dosnt care what -her name- said he still loves me. the way it ended between us was horrible. i was on holiday, and she told me about the new guy and i had no choice but to go NC. i had already moved out the flat we shared, and she was due to be moving into a house her dad bought her. I still hold alot of hate towards her i guess and i dont no what to do.
northstar1 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Basically I havnt heard a peep from her. for some reason smells, thoughts and places are coming back into my head about her. I really dont know what to do, memories are eating me up. i have met a new girl and things have been up and down mainly due to her still being in contact with her ex. and It got me thinking that maybe i was a bad person to block my ex out my life like i did since we shared a huge chunk of our early days together, each others first etc. what i dont understand is why when i reached out to her a while back she ignored me, completely. and has done ever since, i.e no happy birthday, nothing. no doubt thats coming from him telling her to have nothing to do with me. i changed my life for my ex. i moved away from my home into a house with her and we lived together for 2 years i even changed my life so that i could be in the same university. and then she leaves me for someone new that she meets at a night club...after 3.5years of being together and it tore me apart. initially i used NC as a tool that i hoped would bring her back to me but it didn't. looking at her fb profile picture would indicate she is still with the rat that stole her from me even though i knew at one point they split up due to trust. I just hate the fact that she did what she did to me and i said nor did anything about it. And now i live in a different country and or lives are completely different. met her brother in town a while back, he said he didnt no wether to talk to me but he dosnt care what -her name- said he still loves me. the way it ended between us was horrible. i was on holiday, and she told me about the new guy and i had no choice but to go NC. i had already moved out the flat we shared, and she was due to be moving into a house her dad bought her. I still hold alot of hate towards her i guess and i dont no what to do. Hey Peter, nice to see you back. You've been coping pretty well it seems, but all of us have setbacks at some point or another. The problem with holding onto hope that NC will bring them back, is that you are still waiting for them to contact you - which brings it's own pain. I get that you want to have some contact with her, but if she is still with the other guy, what good will it do you? I think you need to ask yourself what you hope to accomplish?
Author Peter_pan Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 thanks for the reply, i appreciate it v much. I dont know what it will achieve, tbh the answer would be nothing. all i could do is release anger i didn't inflict on her back then at the time, because the pain was to much to bear. i guess the only thing that would sooth me would be knowing she made the wrong choice, or was sorry for what she did.
northstar1 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 thanks for the reply, i appreciate it v much. I dont know what it will achieve, tbh the answer would be nothing. all i could do is release anger i didn't inflict on her back then at the time, because the pain was to much to bear. i guess the only thing that would sooth me would be knowing she made the wrong choice, or was sorry for what she did. Well, it's hard to say. It may release some anger, but if she doesn't reply back, it may bottle up even more anger. It's a tough call, but I'd leave it.
Author Peter_pan Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 i have ways of contacting her, phone, msn. or pushing questions through other people i.e brothers sisters of hers, our mates. i just feel so messed up over it all. really gets under my skin
Sysyphus28 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Basically I havnt heard a peep from her. for some reason smells, thoughts and places are coming back into my head about her. I really dont know what to do, memories are eating me up. i have met a new girl and things have been up and down mainly due to her still being in contact with her ex. and It got me thinking that maybe i was a bad person to block my ex out my life like i did since we shared a huge chunk of our early days together, each others first etc. what i dont understand is why when i reached out to her a while back she ignored me, completely. and has done ever since, i.e no happy birthday, nothing. no doubt thats coming from him telling her to have nothing to do with me. i changed my life for my ex. i moved away from my home into a house with her and we lived together for 2 years i even changed my life so that i could be in the same university. and then she leaves me for someone new that she meets at a night club...after 3.5years of being together and it tore me apart. initially i used NC as a tool that i hoped would bring her back to me but it didn't. looking at her fb profile picture would indicate she is still with the rat that stole her from me even though i knew at one point they split up due to trust. I just hate the fact that she did what she did to me and i said nor did anything about it. And now i live in a different country and or lives are completely different. met her brother in town a while back, he said he didnt no wether to talk to me but he dosnt care what -her name- said he still loves me. the way it ended between us was horrible. i was on holiday, and she told me about the new guy and i had no choice but to go NC. i had already moved out the flat we shared, and she was due to be moving into a house her dad bought her. I still hold alot of hate towards her i guess and i dont no what to do. Don't bother. No effort from you = no effort from you. Check out my story....same thing. CHanged my life for her and got royaly F-ed over. That its, it is the way the cookie crumbles. You are going to be fine. Hold that hate to your advantage....she f-ed you over big time. She is a nobody, and enemy, a ghost. Her daddy bought her a house? Get a woman who isn't a spoiled brat.
ninjaturtles Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cZHTLUlYAXg
Author Peter_pan Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 i miss her dearly. she never acted spoiled even though she could have. she said she didnt ever want me to be out of her life, i would always be her friend and that she will always remember me as i was her "first love"
foxh1234 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Hi PP, I would stick to NC and put thoughts of her out of your mind man. Thinking about things and wondering only hurts more. NC is the way.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Stick to NC! Its been 9 months of it and that's AWESOME! Although, creeping her facebook is KINDA cheating you know ;p. You've gotta cut her out 100%! Going on her facebook seeing shes with that guy - whats it doing for you? Nothing. All its doing is having you over analyze their relationship, and you don't need to do that. 9 months strong. Keep going. I HOPE I can hit that someday, its sweet! If you break it now, you'll have to start back at day 0, over a girl who left you for another man, is it really worth it? I think not!
kizik Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Peter, I completely understand the urge to contact your ex. I think about mine daily, and have changed my life 180 degrees since I last saw her. Sometimes I think that I could just call her, and catch up, and boy wouldn't she be jealous to see how well I'm doing... ...but as everyone here has said, there's absolutely nothing that can be gained from doing so. If I were to call her, she would sound happy (whether or not it would be genuine) and I'd revert back to the darkness that kept me captured inside my own heart for so long. And I don't even really believe you would contact her, because you can envision how fruitless it would be. But I'm writing here tonight to tell you that I totally understand the desire to do so. Josh
Author Peter_pan Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 thanks for the replies people i just feel as though i was meant to have done something wrong for her to say the things she did and behave the way she did. i really got no proper answers or anything. memories of good times together and how i was with her and her family are truly soul destroying, knowing that its all over. even simple things like looking round a shop with her, being in her presence, looking at her smile, are now gone i havnt looked on her fb profile, she had posted a comment to a friend of mine and i noticed obviously, saw her profile pic. wasnt to good. but i got over it. i just wonder what i would say to her or what id do if i actually saw her. i wish i could undo the past or something.
BackonTrack Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Its been 9 months. We are both in the same boat. Only it has been 7 months for me. For some odd reason I STILL THINK she is going to contact me. I know she is going to contact me but LONG LONG LONG after I forgot about her. By then I can tell her "**** Off, You whore". On that same note, we are both on mutual groups in FB. I deleted those groups from my profile, made me wonder. I always suspected she liked one of the dudes from the group. I would rather keep any and all information about who she's seeing out of my life. Honest, I just want to forget but I don't feel as if that is going to happen as long as a) I keep posting on LS and b) until I find someone else Also, the guy didn't steal her, she left you. She willingly went with him. Don't blame the guy, blame her for making stupid choices. As about contacting her.. WHY??? She's not worth it. Forget about her, its been 9 months keep moving on, why open up a wound that could possibly bring you back to day 1? As about wanting to hurt her and inflict pain, well I realized a few days ago subconsciously I want to hurt her but then I told myself "Na, it isn't worth it" but if the opportunity arose, I would definitely take it. I guess it only goes to show i am not over it which is BAD. Right now I am at the point where I have no more emotions toward her but she's still on my mind. At least a few minutes, every single day for the last 7 months. Especially when I am alone, my mind wonders. All I'm saying is you've done 9 months. Keep going, sooner or later you'll forget about her. I think subconciously I saved a pieace of my heart for her, for when she returns I can tell her to **** off, then I can finally move on. \ Wow, Look, i said "When she returns" implying that I Am still holding on to hope or is that because I don't have anyone else to think about??? not sure but means I am not over it aka stay no contact. but thats just me, maybe your tougher, but if she hasn't reached out in 9 months = she doesn't care about you right now. maybe when she is older and matures, she'll realize and then it will be your choice if you take her back or not but for right now she's probably young, not thinking about you at all and enjoying life.. atleasts thats what a old wise women who was 29 and traveled the world told me.
Author Peter_pan Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 i feel what your saying. she was a very stubborn person as i seem to remember so i cant hold out on hope that "one day" she may contact me. i really dont think she will if im perfectly honest. im just in a bad place, i shared everything i had with her i dont blame him entirely but im sure he played a massive role in it. it makes me sad when i think she is sharing something new with this guy and not me anymore. my chance has gone. i wish i knew what i know now, but obviously i cannot change time. the only hint that ive got from 2 people as to why she ignored me or isnt in contact is because, she dosnt want to talk about "him" to me. and the other is that she is scared of me and my feelings and dosnt want to hurt me any more than she did
selena_cat Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Peter P, hold on Brother man,dont break NC really-its been almost 7 months for me but luckily i didnt change my life for the B stard,i wouldve regretted it. That urge will pass,it will.,..someimes keeping away from the compuyter helps to,its so easy to send that e-mai or msn message,or forward attachments too, when you feel that urge,step away from the computer,delete her number got to be strong,u will and can do it i'll check on you again
Author Peter_pan Posted October 17, 2008 Author Posted October 17, 2008 i havnt sent her nothing. i deleted her email. the only thing i have is her mobile number. even that may not be correct now.. i dont even know her address. all i know is i miss her more than i ever knew i would. does that mean i truly love her? it really makes me angry that she moved on straight away after what was a very log time between us. and that is what i should have played on with her. i more or less gave up once i knew she was seeing him. why? i wish i made her feel like **** for doing what she did. and that is what still lies within me. why should i let time between us comfort her to? when she left me and i had no choice but to keep moving, a part of me died. i no longer cared. i dropped my hobby which i had cared about for 4 years and even now i have lost interest in it completely. but its what i loved so much at the time. why should she get away with all this? the only reason i didnt go nuts at her for what she did was because i thought she would realise her mistake and come back. and i didnt want to destroy the bridge back for future. but it dosnt look like that is ever going to happen not given the circumstances she has hurt me so much i trusted her with everything and she threw it all back in my face. the one person i trusted in this world she angers me so much. she is friends with my sister on fb... i want to kill her tbh (not my sis)
Author Peter_pan Posted October 18, 2008 Author Posted October 18, 2008 updates on my thoughts. i miss her miss the photos of us
Recommended Posts