tabethalyn Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 he told me he loved me for the first time and now he's pulling away. what's up with that?
Kamille Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 It made him feel vulnerable and now he's trying to find his balance again. But if he said I love you he most likely means I love you. Don't panic, give him space and enjoy the budding relationship!
jadedone Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Depends. Did you say it back? If yes, he might be spooked a little. If you didn't say it in return, then he probably feels vulnerable/hurt.
AriaIncognito Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 How long have you been seeing eachother? Did you say it back? It's probably like the other posters said, he put himself out there and now feels like he's vulnerable or has given you "control" over his feelings so to speak. I've been told it's hard for many men to utter the words, though I've only not heard it from the guy in my past 2 relationships. Well I can't really say for the current one as it's still "budding" but the other one, he never said it. I did say it to him, but during a break up, just to get it off my chest. I'd wanted to say it for a while. Even when that guy and i had gotten back, he never said it. So anyway, I'd say he feels vulnerable, unless he realized it's been way too soon for him to have feelings of that nature, which is why I asked the initial 2 questions...
AriaIncognito Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I just went back and read all your other threads. Is this the same guy as in your original few threads? He seems like he's been confusing you a lot since the get go...
jason83 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I would agree with the others. It's sometimes a scary realization when you say that knowing that you mean it. You're fully exposed and realize how much the other person could potentially hurt you. Let him know how much he means to you and try to be reassuring without actually calling him out on how he reacted
Author tabethalyn Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 yes, it is the same guy from my other posts. and yes i did say it back. i realized too that i had been saying it to him for while, but i never actually said that words out loud to him. i had written it down and stuf but never actually spoke them until now. he did also admit that it is very early for him to be saying those words and that he doesn't want to rush into anything...(if youd read my threads before, he rushed into getting engaged to this girl and then she cheated on him 3 months from the wedding) but he's also told me that he knows i won't break his heart, not because he won't let me but because i won't do it, that i care about him too much.
flc Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 I think it is pretty normal as long as it does not last. Using the L word puts you into a different level of the relationship and once you say it you get kind of a buyers remorse. You step back and think do I really mean it, what does this mean etc. Kind of like will you marry me. You may think about it very deeply before you say the words but once said and seeing the reaction of your partner all kinds of insecurities pop up. Frankly, I think it is a better sign than someone who says it and then does not react. In that case maybe they say it a lot and it really has no meaning.
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