jason83 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 So life has been wonderful with my girlfriend and I until I recently found out that she has been talking to another guy behind my back. She hasn't done anything with him but we both view it as cheating as it was hidden from me and he was telling her things that got her emotions tied up into his words. She told me she wanted to be with me though instead and would break it off with him. I really did believe her only to find out 2 days later that she was still talking to him. I told her I was done and that was the end of it. I simply want my stuff back that she has. She called me last Friday night when she was in Chicago with a friend of hers drinking talking about me and saying she wanted to make this work between us. She had a few too many to drive though so I went to her. She held me tighter than you can imagine and promised it would be different, she loves me, etc, etc, etc. She then couldn't stand and I carried her to my car. Her friend called her cell phone and I answered it telling her where I was. I ended up carrying her into her friends place and she kept apologizing to her friend for lying to her and to me. She had told her friend she was with the other guy not me. Her friend told her she just wanted her to be happy and she said "I will be...with Jason" and smiled really big. Her chest began hurting very badly and she couldn't control her breathing. I called an ambulance and followed it to the hospital so I could later drive her where ever she needed. She refused to call her parents and gave them my number as the emergency contact. She kept saying she was sorry and it was only me she wanted. I stayed by her side until they told me I had to go to the waiting room. She kept telling them she wanted me there and told them she cheated on me (they wanted to know who she was arguing with that got her all upset). I'm running off of 29 hours of no sleep at this point but refused to go anywhere. I had her cell phone in my pocket and I did look to see what was being said. She hadn't spoken to the guy in a week unless of course she had deleted the messages. I took her back to my place that night because her parents thought she was staying with her friend. I stopped on the way home to get her a toothbrush, shampoo, etc. and got her all cleaned up. Even got her to eat a little before going to bed. Then I took her back to Chicago and got her car and we spent time down there together as a couple. She went home and changed her cell phone number and told her parents everything that has been going on. Her dad really doesn't want her with this other guy. I know the other guy personally and he plays mind games. He will promise you anything in the world and get very deep into your head. That has been my biggest fear--that he's already gotten to her. She went to work on Monday (where she, I, and the other guy work...I know, more excitement!) but I had the day off. She called me on her break saying he is telling everyone how bad of a person she is and that I showed him messages from her, etc. Which I never did. I think the guy is scum and wouldn't talk to him about personal life. She heard what I said and she believed me. But now one of her VERY good friends at work has been talking to him saying mean things about her. But then her friend tried hugging her and saying she was so sorry to hear she was in the hospital, etc, etc, etc. I stopped in to say hi to her and try to make her feel better. I asked one of the girls that is her friend if she knew something I could say in spanish to make a very nice girl feel better. She looked at me and asked who the nice girl was and I told her my girlfriend's name. At that point my girl walked away saying "I can't do this right now". I found out later that right before I came in was when she found out her VERY good friend had been saying stuff about her. I apologized to her saying I was only trying to help and that I was sorry. I went to the parking lot thinking on how I shouldn't have done that. A few minutes later an ambulance pulls up. Yep, it's for her. I wasn't sure what to do so I waited....and then followed it to the hospital. Well, I tried. I went to the wrong hospital and they told me it was the other that is 10 minutes away. I walked in and saw her two brothers and sister sitting there. I told them I wasn't sure if she wanted me there or not and her sister said "I know everything that's going on. It's ok if you sit with us" and she smiled at me. I said I wasn't sure if I should or not....but gave my phone number to her brother, asking him to call me if she wanted me here or if I could do anything for the family. She texted me a few hours later saying she wished that I had stayed and she was going home now--she would call after while. She did call....later that night because she had fallen asleep. Turns out it was another anxiety attack and she has to go see a psychiatrist in one week. She's on anti-depressants and anxiety pills. She says it's from the stress of all that she's hearing, her parents being upset with her about this other guy, etc, etc, etc. She says that she loves me and wants to be with me....but right now she needs to take care of herself and feel better. I asked her if her heart said we would be together and she said yes. I told her I understand the questions in her head but to please listen to her heart and let me know if there was anything that I could do for her. She said she would and said "I love you". I told her I love her too and that I respect her space and hope she feels better. I've never gone more than a few days of not talking to her. She usually calls me. It's now been 24 hours because I took the last 3 days off at work (already had this planned before this all happened). I'm trying to take care of me right now but I really do love this girl. She's amazing and I feel bad that she is feeling this way. My friends say she has issues and to move on. To run from this right now....but that they do support me. My mom feels that she is simply scared and not sure what to do. That she put herself in this situation and doesn't know how to get out of it. She suggested I respect her wishes but maybe take her a book that she has been wanting on Saturday or so....just a little pick me up to get her mind onto something she enjoys (it's an architect book) but that way it also shows my support and that I'm thinking of her. All I know is that I'm going crazy about this all. It's so hard when I feel so strongly that I've found someone for me....but I can't be with them right now. I know regardless I have to give her space and time but I keep hoping she is going to call me soon. I know this is a very elaborate situation so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this and give me their opinion on it. Thank you for listening
Author jason83 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Anyone? Sorry, I realize I'm new and it is a long read but I figured knowing these details was important We have dated now for about 8 months. She's 24 and I'm 25. We've both had rough relationships in our past
melodymatters Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Hi there, Sorry for all you're going through. You sound like a nice guy. I really don't understand this story too well though ; I have suffered from panic attacks my entire life, and if anything, it has been a HUGE comfort to have the man I love beside me, understanding what I was going through. She sounds like she's conused about her feelings and maybe that's whats spurring these attacks. I agree to give her time and space and basically keep your fingers crossed. Sorry I can't think of any other way to deal with this.
Author jason83 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 That's basically my thinking as well She has no medical history of having any sort of problems like this at all. I guess I just have to accept that she needs time to get things back in line and go from there. You think the book idea would be a good or bad one though? I want her to know that I'm here for her but also want to be respectful. In all honesty if I were in her shoes and felt the way she has said she does while going through these attacks, I can understand wanting to take time and make sure that they don't happen again. It just hurts so much to not be able to be there
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