WickityWiley Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I had another post in the second chances forum. Basically I had an ex girlfriend, we had a relationship that didn't really work out for either of us. I was going through depression and pushed her away. She got tired of feeling like I didn't care about her, and she dumped me and moved on to a new boyfriend. She stayed in contact with me and we decided to become friends. I had put all the thoughts of reconciliation out of my mind and went into it with good faith. The first thing I did was come clean with the truth about my depression. It cleared up a lot of hurt and sadness on her end. Things began to get weird between us, as she was fully devoted to this other guy, but began flirting nonstop with me and mentioning our old relationship. I finally had to ask her what was up. She confessed that she liked me again; knowing that I hadn't meant to do the things I did and realizing how things were still very good between us, she started to feel those feelings again. She never expected to, and she explained how difficult it was for her as well. She said that she came so close to trying to resume things with me. But she said that she is really into her boyfriend, and is "over" thoughts of a relationship with me, even though she still has those feelings. She asked that we remained friends, and said that I was one of the most important and valuable people in her life. I said I'm not sure, and she literally started begging me... "Please, I'll do anything, I promise, I'll act like I don't feel that way," etc. etc. It was heart wrenching for me, but also kind of pathetic in a way. I don't think that we can be friends, honestly. I really, really would like to. She's so important to me and I love her unconditionally. But I don't think it would be healthy and I don't think either of us would be truly happy. I think it was stupid of her to start a relationship before she was truly over me. I feel like the regret and not knowing how it could've truly been will gnaw at me for a long, long time. This is the toughest thing I've ever had to do. But how do I break it to her gently that we can't be friends? And once that's over, how do I go about forgetting someone who has been a fixture in my life for three years?
ioncebelieved Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 The Rolling Stones, sang the answer best.... Time is my side!!! The trick and the suck part of it is: What it feels like while that time is slowly going by. It is hard and very painful. It gets easier, but the pain is still there. I am on several months myself and I am not perfect, but better. Take your time to heal, do NC and I wish you the best!!
Author WickityWiley Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Thanks for the advice. Time is definitely a healer. It sucks, we've been broken up for four months and since I talked to her the pain feels as fresh as it did back then. I've had other girls that have come and gone but she was my first love and I wish I could hold out forever for a second chance. But I guess she's taking a chance on losing me forever too so she can't really care that much. I miss everything about her and I'd do anything if I could get her back. I sort of realize that I have just come to terms that it is really, totally, finally, OVER. Let the NC begin.
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