e.clipse Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 i loved him more than anyone and anything else in my life. i thought he was the most wonderful person in the world. i admired him so much, and in so many ways. there were nights when we would sleep together, comfortably tucked into his sheets, and i would wake up in the middle of the night to see his face; to his eyes so closed, so beautiful. and i would lay there, awake, and just stare: i would just stare at his face in its peaceful and innocent rest, falling in love that much more so. that feeling, that feeling of love, of passion, of safety, of soul--it made me feel like no matter what, it really would all be OK. and i would just try to cozy up to the nook a little more, trying to get so close as to get inside, always and forever. the admiration, the respect, the love...i felt it all with so much intensity that i could hardly contain it. he was so beautiful to me in every way. i loved him as much as i possibly could. and i still do. and it still hurts. it's funny, then, how they say love can conquer all, isn't it? ha. that's not true: it can't conquer this heartache that throbs just the same, every day.
Lovelybird Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Hi, e.clipse, I feel your pain. You remind me a painful period of my life, when I was in Japan, I was so lonely, I net a Japanese boy, I can say I felt the same way you feel, it seemed like if I was with him, all things can become possible, I will be happy forever. But later I don't see him that way any more. I know I was so lonely that I wore a colorful glasses, that way made me less painful seemingly, but in reality threw me into a deep pit. That period was like hell to me, the pain was unbearable, I felt the life was so unreal, but I grew tremendously as well, I sought answers, I questioned life, and found God, and thank God I didn't end up with that man I do believe love can conquer all, but maybe a bit different understanding than yours. Love can conquer all, God is love, Jesus loves to love. In both case, they are being who they are, they love to love others even without returning of love, it is joy for God and Jesus to love A human gives love, that should be a joyful thing too, if you find yourself painful, that could be a sign that you yourself don't get enough love in you. How can Jesus loves others? because in Him there are full of love that overflow to others. When human is hunger for love, their choice cannot be right, nor can bring real joy to them. Craving love cannot conquer all, you are obviously craving love here. God's love can conquer all. When you get to know God and God's will, you will find out God is the author of romance. He already prepared a romantic story for you and a man only suit you and can bring satisfaction to you. When you seek and love God, HE gives you desires of your heart
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