lovestruck818 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I think "curvy" can really be applied to someone heavy or skinny. I don't think it is necessarily a weight thing. Someone can be considered thin, but be curvy like an hourglass rather than just straighter like a guys shape. I have friends who are probably thinner than me and are much curvier, aka, more hourglassy- than me, but not necessarily fat.
lovestruck818 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Isn't the concept of online dating the opportunity to meet someone in real life? Why do people lie about weight, height, etc? It will be pretty obvious upon meeting, that it's not true. Good reason to avoid the online dating scene then, right? Why waste your time with liars.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Isn't the concept of online dating the opportunity to meet someone in real life? Why do people lie about weight, height, etc? It will be pretty obvious upon meeting, that it's not true. True - but full-body pictures help. Neck/chest-up photos are the deceiving kind. Then what is the proper match.com "code" word for a 5'8" size 14 with a busty hourglass shape? Either "Curvy" or "A few extra pounds." Either will work so long as you post accurate, full-length pictures.
Author freckles73 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Either "Curvy" or "A few extra pounds." Either will work so long as you post accurate, full-length pictures. I do have them posted. But I think I am being weeded out in search and matching criteria because of (see my original post).
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I do have them posted. But I think I am being weeded out in search and matching criteria because of (see my original post). So what? I guarantee you you're weeded out based on other criteria as well: height, age, eye color... People are allowed their preferances. Also, nothing is stopping you from initiating contact with the men you find attractive, even if you don't fit their body type. Just be honest about who you are. One guy I met stated that he was 35 on his profile for exactly the reason you expressed concern about - he didn't want to be weeded out of women's searches. But guess what? He's 42! I was furious! Dishonesty will get you nowhere...just be yourself.
Author freckles73 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Dishonesty will get you nowhere...just be yourself. I agree. But it does really suck to be the only one using the system honestly. Otherwise, I would not get so many not-so-subtle questions from guys asking how old my (very recent) pictures are. They are obviously trying to determine if my curvy status means I've morphed into a 300 pound troll because all the other curvy women are.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I agree. But it does really suck to be the only one using the system honestly. Otherwise, I would not get so many not-so-subtle questions from guys asking how old my (very recent) pictures are. They are obviously trying to determine if my curvy status means I've morphed into a 300 pound troll because all the other curvy women are. Perhaps put something in your profile like, "All my pics were taken in the last 3 months"? I've done that before. On eH I have the dates under the pics.
Art_Critic Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Dishonesty will get you nowhere...just be yourself. I really agree with SG on this... It was my motto to online dating and look where it got me.. Married and a child I'm the happiest I have ever been in my life and I owe it to match and being honest..( as well as time and patience.. it took a while to find her ) I never once lied about anything in my profile or my pictures.. I figured that I didn't want to be nixed trying to make myself look better either in my words or pictures and also I was able to back up everything.. including being well hung .. joke... hahaha
grogster Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I really agree with SG on this... It was my motto to online dating and look where it got me.. Married and a child I'm the happiest I have ever been in my life and I owe it to match and being honest..( as well as time and patience.. it took a while to find her ) I never once lied about anything in my profile or my pictures.. I figured that I didn't want to be nixed trying to make myself look better either in my words or pictures and also I was able to back up everything.. including being well hung .. joke... hahaha When I was on Match I used code language for being a sexual dominant. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Match is for the straight arrow set. There's nothing wrong with that. Match Profile eroticism is defanged. One touts romance (as in liking scented candles and summer breezes) as opposed to a predilection for rope, cuffs, floggers and rough sex. To each her own.
Art_Critic Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 When I was on Match I used code language for being a sexual dominant. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Match is for the straight arrow set. Have you ever tried Lavalife ?... I used it for about 4-5 months.. lots of sex on that site..
manugeorge Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Isn't the concept of online dating the opportunity to meet someone in real life? Why do people lie about weight, height, etc? It will be pretty obvious upon meeting, that it's not true. I think because they feel like people will be as forgiving of "flaws" as they are in real life. I mean a few extra pounds or an inch or two difference in height is usually not a big deal in the real world. Attraction is attraction and most of us will attest to dating people who are nothing compared to the ideals we put on paper. It's almost like when people pad a resume or tell you the apartment they are renting is 1000sqft when it's really 900sqft. They all just want to get their foot in the door, hoping that when you meet them, something else will shine through in person that will melt your heart. Something that can't shine through onscreen. I think it's pretty sad what the computer has done to dating anyway. Now we pick potential mates as if we are picking oranges at the supermarket. It's a shame
Author freckles73 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Leave it to the "men" to turn an innocent thread into a cesspool.
Trialbyfire Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I think because they feel like people will be as forgiving of "flaws" as they are in real life. I mean a few extra pounds or an inch or two difference in height is usually not a big deal in the real world. Attraction is attraction and most of us will attest to dating people who are nothing compared to the ideals we put on paper. It's almost like when people pad a resume or tell you the apartment they are renting is 1000sqft when it's really 900sqft. They all just want to get their foot in the door, hoping that when you meet them, something else will shine through in person that will melt your heart. Something that can't shine through onscreen. I think it's pretty sad what the computer has done to dating anyway. Now we pick potential mates as if we are picking oranges at the supermarket. It's a shame The only problem is that once you've caught someone in a blatant lie upon first meet, why would you bother proceeding?
grogster Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Leave it to the "men" to turn an innocent thread into a cesspool. AC and I made substantive contributions earlier on this Thread. We just made a slight detour, and are now back on message. My recommendation to curvy (non-obese) women is to include a flattering full body photo, a close-up of your face and a Profile that describes you as average and toned. Then at the initial meet, let your personality do the talking. I went out with a curvy woman last week. We had a nice time. Women, by the way, aren't the only ones who misrepresent their weight and figure. I've been told by a number of Match women that men play that game, too. We're all hungry for affection and approval.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 The only problem is that once you've caught someone in a blatant lie upon first meet, why would you bother proceeding? You don't. When I met the 35-year-old-who's-really-42 guy, upon learning his real age, he said to me, "So, I guess you won't want to see me again, huh?" I said, "Let me just finish my pasta." Once my final bite was done, I got up and left.
grogster Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 You don't. When I met the 35-year-old-who's-really-42 guy, upon learning his real age, he said to me, "So, I guess you won't want to see me again, huh?" I said, "Let me just finish my pasta." Once my final bite was done, I got up and left. That is cold, Star. But it is so you. How did you learn his real age? Did he confess?
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 That is cold, Star. But it is so you. How did you learn his real age? Did he confess? Yeah. There was a thread about this a while back. I was furious. It came out during a discussion about Emilio Esteves. He said, "Yeah, back before he was popular, people would tell me that I looked like him, but I didn't know who he was. I remember when I was bartending at Berkeley that these girls would say I looked like him. Then Breakfast Club came out, and I could see the resemblance." I said, "You were bartending in college when that movie came out? I was like....7." And then he said, "Yeah...about that, I'm a little older than I said I was." I continued eating. He said he was 39. I continued eating. He explained why he lied. I then got up, and left. I later learned that he's in fact 42.
Shygirl15 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Oops! lol. Someone once lied being 38 while he was infact 42. I kindly forgave him and we lived happily ever after for 1 year, until he developed ED.
Trialbyfire Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Yeah. There was a thread about this a while back. I was furious. It came out during a discussion about Emilio Esteves. He said, "Yeah, back before he was popular, people would tell me that I looked like him, but I didn't know who he was. I remember when I was bartending at Berkeley that these girls would say I looked like him. Then Breakfast Club came out, and I could see the resemblance." I said, "You were bartending in college when that movie came out? I was like....7." And then he said, "Yeah...about that, I'm a little older than I said I was." I continued eating. He said he was 39. I continued eating. He explained why he lied. I then got up, and left. I later learned that he's in fact 42. First lie was bad enough but then to find out through other sources that he's lied about his age twice, there's no turning back.
Author freckles73 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 I have a free subscription to the match.com sister website, chemistry.com. Whenever I see a profile on chemistry that I am interested in I look for the user name that is hidden in the web address and then plug it into match.com to see if they also have a match.com profile and if the two profiles match. Often they don't. Usually they are off by several years, several inches, several pounds, several hairs, several thousand dollars, several cigarettes, several kids or an ex-wife or two.
grogster Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I have a free subscription to the match.com sister website, chemistry.com. Whenever I see a profile on chemistry that I am interested in I look for the user name that is hidden in the web address and then plug it into match.com to see if they also have a match.com profile and if the two profiles match. Often they don't. Usually they are off by several years, several inches, several pounds, several hairs, several thousand dollars, several cigarettes, several kids or an ex-wife or two. I'm curious. Which site usually gets the more flattering description?
Author freckles73 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Match profiles are usually puffed up. Chemistry profiles are a little more truthful, in my opinion.
lovestruck818 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I have a free subscription to the match.com sister website, chemistry.com. Whenever I see a profile on chemistry that I am interested in I look for the user name that is hidden in the web address and then plug it into match.com to see if they also have a match.com profile and if the two profiles match. Often they don't. Usually they are off by several years, several inches, several pounds, several hairs, several thousand dollars, several cigarettes, several kids or an ex-wife or two. but that's the internet on the whole- it's a very shady, risky way to date.
Isolde Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Possibly you just carry your weight really well and he sees you as toned to average? I agree about the fudging too. Why so set against dating him? Would you get fired if someone found out?
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