tepthatass Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 So, in general, can you list some of the most effective ways or best ways to get an ex-girlfriend back? For example, make her jealous, time and space, playing hard to get, just being nice and talking to her more and more...any thoughts?
CaliGuy Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 No because they all contain "tricks" as a means to manipulate them back into you life. That may have some effect but it won't make someone love you and it certainly won't help you keep them. Listen to me carefully: You can NOT make someone come back. You can NOT make someone love you. If they don't want to be with you, nothing you do will make them come back. The best way that most people have found to "win" someone back is to completely forget about their ex and move on with their life. And that works because you end up getting your life back on track and usually meeting someone new. And when that happens, you won't want your ex back anyway.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I think you posted a thread like this before. And once again, I'll repeat, go NC! As Caliguy said, you cannot MAKE someone come back to you. Not possible. The ONLY POSSIBLE WAY you can get your woman back is to go NO CONTACT and in doing so MOVE ON. Why? Because if she is not with you right now, if means you RIGHT NOW are not the person for her. When you first met her, you were not all over her, but over time, things happened. Someday, if you let yourself grow from this, then MAYBE you will become the right girl for her. By then you should be OVER HER and when you meet again, your relationship, if it begins anew, will feel new, because you'll be different, more mature, more grown people. So trust us here at LS. Go NC, and as backwards as it sounds, get over her, give it a couple years, and see where life takes you! This is ONLY WAY you can get her back, for good. Moving on, living your life for yourself, being happy for yourself, and maybe if you're lucky, that spark will light up again a long time from now. Chances are though, as Caliguy said, by the time she comes back, or by the time you two have grown enough to maybe give it another shot, you'll be so over her you wont even entertain the idea. If you were meant to get her back tomorrow, if you were the right person for her this very moment, then she would be with you. Since shes not? Its not meant to be right now. I know this hurts, but trust us, the faster you go NC, the faster you can recover, find a new love or maybe even POSSIBLY get her back (years from now).
lofi_tokyo Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 make her jealous, time and space, playing hard to get, just being nice and talking to her more and more...any thoughts? Here is why those ideas will not work: -If she was all over you, and interested in dating you, she'd be jealous without you even trying, she'd be jealous you were not her man. Shed want you. But shes not all over you, in fact, shes probably mostly over you, so jealousy tactics will not go very far. They MAY end up hurting her, but they won't win her back. -Time and Space: This COULD work, but only if you give it a long time - as I said, YEARS. And in that time, you would need to move on and live your life for you. If you crush on her all that time, you're not really giving her space, because shes still in your mind constantly. -Being nice: Sure, being nice is great, but if shes over you, shes over you. Lots of guys are nice to girls and don't win them over. Its even less likely to work if she broke up with you - she seems beyond your niceness because she's already gotten to know you. -Talking to her more and more: She broke up with you. In other words, she wants to talk to you LESS, not more!
BCCA Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 CaliGuy pointed this out before, but its worth repeating. Men are more reactionary, they tend to make decisions hastly, rash, and rush to decisions. They rarely talk thier feelings out with anyone, or chat it up with all their buddies before doing anything. Women, on the other hand, tend to talk at great lengths with their friends, think things out, and take their time before making any hard decisions. For this reason, by the time a girl pulls the trigger on breaking up, they've already began removing themsleves weeks or even months ago. In their mind, its been over for a while. The chances of a woman going back on her decision to break up, from what I've seen, are probably less than 5%. They already told everyone that would listen about everything wrong with you and why you werent the right one, and so to go back on their word would be to look foolish to all their peers. And even if they want you back, unless you have identified and corrected whatever caused the split, trust me, it will resurface again and youll get dumped...again. I can promise you this, as bad as getting dumped once feels, wasting your time trying again only to find it a failure is even worse. Move on with your life and see what the universe has to offer you. There is nothing youre going to do to make this girl feel an different, it all has to come from her.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Yup its true, us girls chat out everything to the littlest detail with our girlfriends. And we don't just talk about it once, we talk about it over and over and over, even when its been beat dead, we still talk about it, just to make sure its gonna stay dead. Never thought of it that way, but its true. If a girl has dumped you, and her friends are backing her? Sorry my friend, but its likely shes been considering this for months now, or at the very least, long enough that she wont want you back for a longgg time.
Author tepthatass Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Currently, i am going no contact. She lost her virginity to me, the thing is she is very upset with me and mad at me currently and a very shy girl. So could it be the fact that she wants me to make the first move to get back with her? Also, since she is very mad at me right now...could it be that she just needs some time and space to think about things and cool down???
CaliGuy Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Currently, i am going no contact. She lost her virginity to me, the thing is she is very upset with me and mad at me currently and a very shy girl. So could it be the fact that she wants me to make the first move to get back with her? Also, since she is very mad at me right now...could it be that she just needs some time and space to think about things and cool down??? You need to let to go and stop obessing over it. You don't have ANY control over her feelings. Zip, zero, nada, NONE. The more you sit here trying to scheme a way to win her back, the more you will guarantee FAILURE. You see, my friend you are broken. Broken and beaten. You will not heal until you decide to LET GO. When you accept that you have no control over how she feels then you will start on the path to healing. Pick yourself up by the boot straps, get to the gym, hang out with your friends and focus on your hobbies. Leave her alone. The more you try and force her back to you the farther she will pull away. The ONLY possible way is to let time do it's job for the both of you. If she wants you, she knows how to find you. In the meantime I suggest you don't let your youth get away from you. You only have so much time on this planet. Why waste it on someone who doesn't want to be with you? You are wasting far, far too much of your time trying to figure out how to control a situation you have absolutely NO control over. Pointless. Senseless. Waste of time.
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