SoundTribe Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I felt bad about all the terrible things I did to my ex after we broke up and so I sent her a brief 5 sentence apology letter through the mail. I don't hate her.
Geishawhelk Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I'm sorry, but that's just flogging a dead horse. Bad idea, I think...... No Contact is called that for a really good reason. It keeps you apart so's you can heal. All you've done now, is scratch the scab off.... and make it bleed.
Kim666 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Actually writing a letter is not such a bad idea...it is the sending that is the bad idea. I wrote my ex a letter that is posted in here and I have to admit it helped me a great deal.
Author SoundTribe Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 the letter isn't a sob letter or begging her to come back. its along the lines of "it was fun, sorry i was a dick, and good luck in life"
Geishawhelk Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 yes, but you don't get it, do you? It still broke NC and set you back a way. You should never have sent it, whatever it said.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I think sometimes, you have to make mistakes before you learn from them! Sending a letter and breaking NC? Really not a helper in the long run. But... making those mistakes is part of the process. If I had ignored my ex from the moment I last saw him? MAN, I know for a fact he'd be banging at my door, and I'd be a LOT further along. Sadly, I chased him for two weeks, ignored him for two, broke NC, went back to NC, broke NC... just a mess. But you learn, you know? Definitely not breaking NC now! I'm only annoyed with myself because I let him use me to heal while I was still chasing him. Now, he could care less, and bah! I broke NC a few days ago... but donedonedone. Hopefully soundtribe, you figure it out soon too
Author SoundTribe Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 i sent the letter because her and i are on extremely aggressive terms and i just wanted to clean up the animosity. i wanted to be the bigger person. NC will be resumed obviously.
Author SoundTribe Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 i seriously doubt she will reply. if she does i will be shocked beyond belief.
Geishawhelk Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Fine. It will be proof she's respecting the NC. Oh dear.....!
northstar1 Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 i sent the letter because her and i are on extremely aggressive terms and i just wanted to clean up the animosity. i wanted to be the bigger person. NC will be resumed obviously. Look, there is no absolute right way for everyone to deal with a breakup and move on. NC works for the majority, as each successive contact with an ex (letters, emails, texts, checking their online pages etc) tends to keep the feelings and memories alive. What's done is done, and as long as you don't agonize over waiting for her to respond, then maybe that letter you sent will give you some peace to move on faster. Either way, I'd go back to NC.
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