Talullah Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I know some may consider online relationships to be a joke, and well i never considered it a joke but i never considered it as an option for me. I always believed there cant eb a relationship where you cant touch the person. Never kissed them, never held them.. That was untill i met Bryan. We met on an online comunity and just talked like friends for a long time. he had problems, i listened, i had mine and he listened that sort of thing. Pretty soon we started seeing just how much we have in common. The first butterflies i got when he told me about a dream he had, a recuring one, which was identical to one i had (we never discussed it before so he couldnt have known)down to every detail. The more we talked the closer we got. At this point im so close to the edge that one more inch id ill fall so hard i wont know what to do. We already talked about meeting one day and how cool it would be. I'm not stupid, i know how hard it is to get a US visa (im in europe), and we are both aware that meeting may never happen. But we still talk, about how much we like each other, and how close we are..he even went as far as to tell me if i ever got there hed do anything eh can to be with em, even if its for a short time. I know all the dangers of him not telling me the truth and such, but we spoke so much so long, if he had lied it would have shown at one point. Ive seen him on cam, and have spoken to him on voice. Right now hes all i think about, and everytime we see each otehr we smile like dopes. How risky is it to fall for someoen so far away? What do you advise?
Rollercoasterr Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Falling in love in general is risky, no matter how close or far away they are. My SO is 1000 miles away from me and every day I spend apart from him feels like 100 years. It's seriously the worst feeling I've ever had in my entire life to come home after a bad day and want to talk to him, or hug him and then get slapped in the face by the fact that 1000 miles and a country border separates us. HOWEVER, this is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. When you're in an LDR you have to make up for not seeing each other every day with communication. I feel like I know my SO way better than any boyfriend I've ever had. So while LDR's hurt sometimes, they can also be a blessing because through this you'll know if your love is really strong enough to withstand everything, and if it is, then you know you'll live happily ever after once the distance is closed. Overall, this decision is up to YOU. No one can make a decision for you, and I can guarantee you that if you follow someone elses advice and not your own, that this WILL crash and burn. This entire forum is built up of different personalities, stories, and people from all ends of the earth. But we are here for one reason--we've found love and that love just happens to be stretched out over a distance. Some short distances, some small, but we are ALL in this together. Kind of a support group kind of thing. So while LDR's can and will be tough, this forum will always be here for you to lean on and vent when you're down or if you've got problems that no one else would understand unless they've been in an LDR too. And trust me, if you think your guy is lying to you, come here, I'm sure that one of us will be able to sniff that lie out. We're good like that. But honestly, deep down you'll know when he's lying. You might not realize it at the time, but you'll know. But please, if you do decide to fall for this guy, and start something with him, talk to him as much as you can, and make sure that you communicate often, and in any way possible.
Author Talullah Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 We talk everyday. I get up at 6am, and he stays up till 4 am just so we can talk. We make up times when were both there, if something happens we have people who will let the other know and so on. We even talked about getting phone cards for international use. Im pretty sure ill fall..im talking to him now and i feel like im weak in the knees, and butterflies in my tummy, and i smilling non stop, with every word he says..
SushiX Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Thats very far. I wouldn't even consider dating someone thats like 20+ miles from me. There are about 6 billion people on earth. I think I can find someone closer. But that's just me. Plus you never met him. I hope you don't get disappointed once you do. Because I hear stories like this all the time and they're usually very sad.
Author Talullah Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 So far ive never, ever met anyone who can make me feel like he does. Ive never felt soo..utterly happy talking, just talking to a guy.. So far everything that i had close to home, ended up in disaster.
Rollercoasterr Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 I'm glad that you're starting off on the right foot. And seriously hon, loving someone who is far away is NO different than loving someone next door. The guy next door can turn out to be just as big of a liar and a jerk as the guy who is an ocean away. People are not different, they just might try and make you think that they're something they aren't. But sooner or later, you'll figure them out for what they are and then it's all over. Just if you have any little red flags coming up in your head EVER then dont meet him. If there isn't, then meet him. Just make sure that for your first visit it's a public place and if you can, drag a friend along, even if it's for an hour or so. No harm in that. I met my SO online, I wasn't expecting to meet someone like that and to fall in love, but I did. Sure, we broke up the first time because the distance was a bit much, but once we grew up a bit(took 4 years for that, lol), we came back together and are now getting married in a little under 2 years. Fairy tales do come true, but dont get all clouded by the thought of that fairy tale. Always keep your mind, eyes and ears open to reality.
Author Talullah Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 That gave me hope. I was starting to think im crazy. lol, of course im gonna drag a friend or something. He actually suggested that himself so yay for him . Thank you
MrMe Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I met my SO online, I wasn't expecting to meet someone like that and to fall in love, but I did. Sure, we broke up the first time because the distance was a bit much, but once we grew up a bit(took 4 years for that, lol), we came back together and are now getting married in a little under 2 years. Fairy tales do come true, but dont get all clouded by the thought of that fairy tale. Always keep your mind, eyes and ears open to reality. So...there is hope. Oh and congratulations.
Rollercoasterr Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 There's always hope, but it isn't always rainbows and sunshine, let me tell ya And I absolutely can't wait to marry him. I'm all excited and fluttery, just like a little girl. I am NOT, however, excited about that mountain of paperwork that has to be done before we can get married.
addictingpancake Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 i'm also in a relationship that started online. some people think it's ridiculous and don't understand why you would choose to fall in love with somebody miles away, when you could find somebody in the same city. well i didn't choose this. at first i thought i was crazy for thinking that i was actually in love, but now i know that there's no way i'll be happy without him. I plan on kidnapping him ^.^ (it's not actually going to be a kidnapping..) i've known him for a few years. we went out for a while.. but honestly, it wasn't very serious, so it ended. but now we've been together for 10mts (a very long 10 mts). in 7 more months we'll be together. i plan on meeting him in a public place (probably at a mall), and if its possible, dragging a friend along. (this is mostly cause i'll probably be overly excited and wreck on the way there XD.. i have no doubts about my safety with him.) best of luck to you and your SO! an LDR like that won't be easy, but if it's true love like it seems, it's definitely worth it!
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