Art_Critic Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I also offered to give her gas money to help her out and then she said I made her feel bad for being broke. Christ.. you just can't win with women. Instead of Gas money you could fill her car up for her when she is at your place sleeping off a good night of the TanBark... It is fairly easy actually.. or just borrow her car and go get a six pack at the store and bring it back on full.... It's got to be tough that she does all the driving and pays for her own gas.. I know that you do the paying for the partying and meals and clubs etc.. but it still gets old day after day.. driving..driving... I once dated a girl that lived 40 mins from me.. It sucked to be me some times... Friday night date: 35 min drive home from work.. 40 min drive to her house 35 min drive to dinner/movie 35 min driveback to her house 40 min drive back to my house. So I would drive over 3 hrs just to spend a few hours with her... Do that 3 times a week.. I was driving 9 hours a week to see her... It got old... I'm just saying... sometimes paying is easier than actually driving.. so maybe filling her tank up without her knowing about it would be a nice surprise when she catches herself feeling like it sucks to do all the driving... ...
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 how old is she? 22 I'm sure that has something to do with it. I can relate to her. Sometimes when I finally get time to myself I don't want to see my BF too much because I'm happy just having time for me. Especially if I think my needs aren't being met by him lately then I think it's a little unfair of him to demand my time. And I don't want to give it. I don't demand her time though. I told her she doesn't have to drive out as much if it's too much for her. And if she ever can't hang out because of school or work I never give her a hard time about it. So I would drive over 3 hrs just to spend a few hours with her... Do that 3 times a week.. I was driving 9 hours a week to see her... It got old... Yeah, but it's rare that she'll drive over here and not spend the night. If it's during the week she'll spend just that night but when she drives over on the weekend it's usually for the whole weekend. It is still a lot of driving but it's not every day that we see each other. I do like your gas tank idea though.
amaysngrace Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 I don't demand her time though. I told her she doesn't have to drive out as much if it's too much for her. And if she ever can't hang out because of school or work I never give her a hard time about it. Yeah but she probably stills feels pressure to come see you. Which is why you should probably go see her sometimes too. Give and take.
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Well I offered to go see her Friday but no reply yet. Funny how the driving thing wasn't an issue until I had a problem with the comments to her ex.
amaysngrace Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Of course she's going to complain if you complain...she's kind of young and Even Steven is her mentality. Deal with it.
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 She replied back about Friday and said she can't because she's working 12 hours. Of course, there have been plenty of times in the past she works a 12 hour day and still drives over. But now she refuses when I offer to come up. She complains about things that are wrong and then when I offer a solution she refuses. F**king ridiculous. Rent a nice room with a great view in her town and surprise her with room service and candles. That way you can be together ALONE without her having to spend all the time and money to bring the two of you together. That's a good idea.
Shygirl15 Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 That's a good idea. Well, not anymore since she'll be working 12hrs..lol. Sorry. Give her space maybe?
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Give her space maybe? Then she'll complain we never see each other.
marlena Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Thoughts? Am I really being insane or is the situation a little out of line? Tan, I just caught up with this thread and absolutely had to chime in to the poster with the "best smile on LS!" I admit it I haven't read the entire thread so I am going strictly by your opening post. Put bluntly, no, you are not absolutely going insane with the situation that you are facing. Anyone with a shred of grey matter and an ounce of self respect would be offended. My feeling is that your girlfriend is behaving in a very immature and childish manor. This is something that you have to consider seriously and take action from there. Posting inane remarks on facebook and then trying to come out on top is at best silly, at worst, inappropriate and silly. Unless you are looking for infantile drama in your life, I wouldn't even bother on calling her out on her antics. Of course, it is up to you to decide if this is the kind of person that you want to be in a relationship with. Personally, I can't consider someone playing games as a candidate for a serious relationship.On the other hand if you are not interested in a serious involvement, then, just ignore the whole thing. It's your call.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 She replied back about Friday and said she can't because she's working 12 hours. Of course, there have been plenty of times in the past she works a 12 hour day and still drives over. But now she refuses when I offer to come up. She complains about things that are wrong and then when I offer a solution she refuses. F**king ridiculous. Because she wants brownie points for what she does. She doesn't want you to even the score, because she wants her poor behavior to be able to do that. "I come see you, so let me be an insensitive, invalidating, hypocritical brat." "I come see you, so you should trust me to do (whomever) I want." "I come see you, so let me look like the one putting in all the effort." Therefore, "Don't you dare come see me or point out that you even things out by paying, because then I won't have anything in my favor to make up for my bullsh*t." And yes, this is largely due to her age. (Been in her shoes, I'm embarrassed to admit. )
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 I just caught up with this thread and absolutely had to chime in to the poster with the "best smile on LS!" Thanks. Of course, it is up to you to decide if this is the kind of person that you want to be in a relationship with. Personally, I can't consider someone playing games as a candidate for a serious relationship.On the other hand if you are not interested in a serious involvement, then, just ignore the whole thing. It's your call. Well she's not always like this. If it becomes a pattern then it will of course be a problem. As it stands this is more of an isolated incident.
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Therefore, "Don't you dare come see me or point out that you even things out by paying, because then I won't have anything in my favor to make up for my bullsh*t." This is the feeling I'm getting.
marlena Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Thanks. See what I mean! What a smile!! It would make my day just to see that smile every morning!! Just one quesion if you don't mind? Why do you mostly text and not just talk to one another or see one another?
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 This is the feeling I'm getting. She's being a princess. Takes one (well, a reformed one!) to know one, I'm afraid.
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Why do you mostly text and not just talk to one another or see one another? Well we see each other in person a fair amount. The texting is mainly because: 1. Neither of us like chatting on the phone very much. 2. Texting is easier during the day when I'm at work and she's either at school or work. We do talk on the phone occasionally but it's not that often.
marlena Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 We do talk on the phone occasionally but it's not that often. Tan, this, to me, is not a good sign. Texting is for children. Adults in a serious relationship talk or see each other as much as possible. Like I said, if this is just a fling, OK, then. If what you want is something more, then, IMO, opinion it is not OK. It all depends on what you want out of this relationship with this woman/girl.
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 Tan, this, to me, is not a good sign. Texting is for children. Adults in a serious relationship talk or see each other as much as possible. Like I said, if this is just a fling, OK, then. If what you want is something more, then, IMO, opinion it is not OK. Well we see each other, on average, about 3 days per week. Given each of our schedules that seems like plenty, IMO. She texted earlier saying she's tired of arguing and asking if we can stop so I said sure. I think things are basically back to normal.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 Well we see each other, on average, about 3 days per week. Given each of our schedules that seems like plenty, IMO. She texted earlier saying she's tired of arguing and asking if we can stop so I said sure. I think things are basically back to normal. I think your level of contact is fine, so long as you're actually having substantive conversations when you're together. Glad you worked things out... just keep your eyes open.
marlena Posted October 15, 2008 Posted October 15, 2008 She texted earlier saying she's tired of arguing and asking if we can stop so I said sure. I think things are basically back to normal. :) I know! Not as wonderfully contagious as yours. OK! Glad things are back on track! My little tidbit of advice? Text less and talk more whenever possible!! Best of luck, Tan!
Author tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Posted October 15, 2008 I think your level of contact is fine, so long as you're actually having substantive conversations when you're together. They're substantive as a muthaf**ka.
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Been over 3 hours.. Any update Tannybananny?
Star Gazer Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 They're substantive as a muthaf**ka. Dirty sex talk is not exactly what I meant by substantive.
Author tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 Been over 3 hours.. Any update Tannybananny? Yes, things are back to normal. The storm has passed.
johan Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 I will never downplay our love, big boy. I thought we agreed never to talk about that.
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