confusedinkansas Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 My husband & I ..... married 28 years, 2 grown kids, separated for 6 months & now are giving it a try to patch things up. I am not convinced it will work. He didn't want the separation in the first place & thinks now that everything is "GREAT". That's mostly because we are right back to the same old habits etc. (It's like the 6 months separation never happened) I am to a point where I want to go back to my apartment & start my life over. Trouble is - we've known each other 31 years. Pratically grew up together. While I don't really want to be married to him, I can't stand the thought of him not being in my life as a friend. (+ because of the kids) Is it possible?
Geishawhelk Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 here's the deal. You two are inexorably joined for life. because of the kids. You have to remain in touch. It's unavoidable, inevitable and actually, vital. But you can still cultivate a friendship and not be married. It may take a while though. You may find you have to give it time to overcome resentment. because there will be all the legal stuff to plough through. And that part (because it's orchestrated by lawyers, who are always the only winners!) can get tetchy. So be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. It's going to be a bit of a roller-coaster ride.....
Owl Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Being friends really will be dependent upon how and why you end things. If you were to end things with your H because you were "with" someone else...odds of being friends goes to "not likely". If things ended because you both felt it was over between you...friendships can work out. However...those friendships remain a HUGE, HUGE infidelity risk factor for both of you should you decide to marry or date someone else. "Ex's" tend to be one of the most common affair partners out there. And often spouses know this even if they don't 'think' about it...and they tend to inherently distrust any relationship with an ex. So if you DO remain friends with your ex...plan on it having a detrimental impact on any future marriage or relationship.
Recommended Posts