roghornio Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 Hello - a quick question. I moved abroad several weeks ago - i had no contact with my ex for around 6 months and just before i leave out of the blue she messages me and asks me to mail her when i settle in where i go. I said i was busy, had a meeting couldn't talk and that i would drop her a line and signed out. Question is - should i mail her? I havent seen her in a LONG time, or spoke in a long time - last i heard she was with someone. Am i opening a can of worms by mailing her do you think ? Why would she want me to mail her when she blanked my initiation of contact 3 times a in a row ? Let me know - i've not been bothered by it all for months, but the past few days i have been thinking maybe i could email to say hi.
carhill Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 What do you really want? Be careful of that......
Author roghornio Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 Seeing as i live in a different country, nothing. I suppose part of me wants her to know i am doing great, the other half is thinking why bother after all i went through is it worth stirring it all back up again. We got on great and everything was pretty amicable, i would like to stay friends but really what's the point. Just last we spoke briefly i said i would mail. But after all this time, not sure. I just don't know if it's right or wrong to do. It has been on my mind today. I don't have any feelings for her anymore - hell, i can't even remember what she looks like (vaguely). What would you do? Part of me thinks best just to leave it, other half thinks enough time has passed and am cool with it all so what's the harm. But then i'm thinking if your cool with it why are you asking people on a message board about it
carhill Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 IMO, the best way to "test" your feelings is to risk contact, if you otherwise would desire it. I know, for myself, once I resolved my feelings, contact was not a "relapse", though there was slight withdrawal, getting lesser over time. Hard to explain. Since you think you are OK, why not be OK? If you and she were otherwise friends, perhaps that can continue. For me, understanding that friendship was the best path and that romance was an incompatible one was key to resolving the emotional part of the equation. For you, it might be different. Everyone is (different)
Author roghornio Posted October 14, 2008 Author Posted October 14, 2008 NO, no it's not a relapse... and i it's not that horrible old "need to make contact" feeling of a fresh break up. I will decide tonight if i do or don't either way thanks.
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 It serves no purpose to be intouch with her. What is the point?
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