First date since the break up

[ahhhchooo]

So I went on my first date today, 2.5 months after my break up.

 

I listed myself on a non-dating website in the personals (I don't particular like full-fledged dating sites, not me) and a very attractive girl added me to MSN. Stayed up til 3am last night talking to her and then went for a date this evening. Very smart, successful and attractive girl with similar interests. Was surprised how much we seemed to click.

 

One thing I found strange... I noticed is that my anxiety levels are extremely high. I find things odd or off when nothing is amiss, even to the point where I turned up 10 minutes late for the date, because I didn't want to stand around waiting for her to stand me up! I don't know if this is because I'm not entirely over my ex and I'm projecting her attitude onto this new girl. Or possibly something to do with still lacking self esteem.

 

All in all, what I did see from the date is that there are certainly more fish in the sea, and based off how easily I found this girl - plenty of good ones as well! Not only that, but the time apart from my ex is letting me see that there is definitely someone out for me who will be better for me than my ex. I was so desperate to cling onto this relationship with a girl I loved so dearly, that I couldn't see it staring me plainly in the face - the relationship couldn't exist anymore, at least not how it had been.

 

In future when someone turns away from me, if they don't want my love and attention, they simply don't deserve it. It's they that have to live with their decision - whether or not they realize the consequences, I'll actually walk away better for it. I found out that this person wasn't what I was looking for. Better sooner rather than later.

 

Seeing things so much clearer and have been active/more social in the past few weeks.. having a great time with life for the first time since breaking up. I'll probably hit a down some time or another, but I wanted to capture this moment!