i still think about the ex:

[BackonTrack]

Not sure why I'm posting.

Ex was nice to me for a while. Then started to play me as fool and began cheaeting on me.

 

I am not sure anymore if we were ever together. I don't think we were. On that same note,it did hurt allot when she left.

 

Messed me up in the mind once I found out she was cheating. She defended herself quite stranchly, didn't think she did anything wrong.

 

I bought into it for a while, I don't think she did anything wrong now as well. Wish she would of told me though, I think I forgave her a long time ago.

 

She did mess me up for a really long time mentally.

 

 

I'm recovered now, and wondering what the ex is up too. I still think about her, atleast a few minutes everyday. I doubt she has given me a second thought. She moved on with life.

 

Well this is my pain to bear. Hopefully I'll find someone eles to get the whore out of my thoughts.

 

Her actions sure did humble me. Brought me right back to reality. Not sure how I let this happen. I liked being in a relationship with her. She obviously wanted out.

[crushed66]

people change.

 

quit thinking about how it was the first 3 month/ 1 years (the good times), think about the relationship, and how she treated you towards the end of the relationship.

 

focus on what you have, not what you dont have,

and just build it from there.

 

good luck.

[bayouboi]

Right.. and while I was reading.. I was thinking.. we only have one side here.. maybe she had a good reason to..

 

Good reason to cheat?

[BackonTrack]

If this was a few months ago, hell if this was last month I would of went into the whole story but it was so long ago, its not even worth it, sort of like another life.

 

maybe she did have a good reason to cheat, who knows, whatever its the past, i'm recovered, let her have her fun.

 

as about the [original title removed] comment, well no, not all women, just this one in particular.

[BackonTrack]

Ok, I am posting because I have nothing better to do.

I will attempt to summarize this relationship.

 

I saw a girl. I wanted her.

A few months later, I got the chance to get her phone number.

I began going over her dorm frequently.

She was nice to me and let me spend the night.

We slept on the same bed.

I tried to have sex with her, but she threaten to kick me out if I did not stop.

I awoke the next morning feeling like a loser.

This contiuned on for about 1-2 weeks. Me spending time & sleeping over.

During this whole time she had a boyfriend, it did not bother me (he was her first), she was allow me to get close to her.

 

So one night, I get up the couage to try and have sex with her again.

She refused, then yada yada, we had sex.

 

We Dove in Head First. Spent everyday together, for about 1 month.

after about 1 month, she began to start to cry and feel bad and say she was a whore. I never understood why.

 

I told her we were adults in a relationship and sex is normal.

 

During this time, she must of ditched her boyfriend because he would text her and say he's sudicial. I would take the phone and began having sex with her.

 

We spent the next 3-5 months together everyday, constant sex, no more crying.

 

She got a job, moved back move around month 5.

Things started to change, she was hiding the fact we were having sex from her parents so she only came around about 3x/week and on weekends.

 

She told her parents she was at a friends house.

During this time, I was thinking to myself, we are not spending that much time together but she's busy so so I understand + she came on weekends.

 

About month 8, I went on vacation for 30 days.

Before I left, she came over, gave me massage head to toe, I thought that was nice of her.

 

I return from vacation, I went inside of her, it felt weird, it felt different.

She said "I shouldn't be telling you this, but XX came over and I called out your name during sex because I was so accustomed to having sex with you, then laughed"

 

I didn't care, I was never going to keep her, so a few moments later, she called me her X name. I looked at her strangely, then attempted to talk to her, she became irate and yelled at me "your doing the same thing" (BIG RED FLAG)

 

I told myself, I was going to get rid of her, but she tried to make it up so I kept her.

 

Turns out when I was away, she went on two dates and had sex with her EX.

 

That same month, I took her to a hotel, and she was acting weird, hiding herself, etc etc, then we tried a new position and she says "i don't want to be a whore yada yada" (BIG RED FLAG)

 

During this same time, she kept talking with the guy she went on the date with. I believe they were preforming sexual acts.

 

During this time, I think I was neglecting her, she started to become visibly unhappy.

 

About a month later, she comes over and we have sex then she starts crying "why are you so nice to me, I feel like a whore" I had no idea what she was talking about, brushed it off n told her to go to sleep.

 

Things started to change, she would say things like

"I want to pick a fight with you so I could break up with you" then I tell her "that would be mean" brushed it off

 

During this time, she would have crazy outbursts, I never understood why, I was being emmotionally drained. I was thinking, what is wrong with her.

 

During this time the OM must of been on her mind, we had sex again after sex we pinky promised to be friends.

 

I remember thinking to myself "i cannot leave you now, u must be the one to leave me"

 

During this time she HOT/COLD, I'm her "hun" one minute, the other minute I am nothing. She was confusing me.

 

During this time she would say weird things like 'Cum contains proteins, its good for the skin"

 

I wondered where she was getting her information from.

 

She comes over one day, I could tell she only wanted sex, I remember thinking to myself "who does she think i am, I am going to take her home" then I told myself "She did it for me"

 

So we have sex, she starts crying after 'I know what I'm doing is wrong but I can't helpmyself, I feel like a whore"

 

Me being the fool that I am, I did not understand, told her go to sleep.

 

I went away for 60 days, when I return she came around told me no sex because she wants to get closer to god, I said whatever, she always say this. We are together 12 months now or so I thought.

 

Few weeks pass, We have sex, she stoped me. I told her she couldn't do that. During this time she was changing, I noticed it, never knew the cause, she was acting as if she didn't need me for whatever reason. Brushed it off again. Few weks later she started to stay away and would sound confused. I said whatever, went away again

 

When I return, she did not pick up calls, did not come over, I was by this time addicted/obsesed with her and going crazy not seeing her.

 

I break up with her, she comes running to my home at 3 in the morning.

I strip her naked n ask if she's my baby, she tells me yes. I attempt to have sex with her, she says NO.

 

I tell her not to call me again.

 

She calls me few days later, I get my new apartment, she is happy. I threw her the keys and say "do we like our apartment" she gives it back to me. I am confused.

 

We sleep together that night, then she looks at me and smiles. I look at her angrly (she was acting weird these past few weeks). She starts to cry "I feel like a whore"

 

I again am a fool, told her I love her and she's not a whore.

She shakes her head angrly like she never knew.

 

Fast forward to next week, I find out she cheating on me, attempt to break up with her, but I couldn't I loved her to much. Cursed her out yada yada yada. She tried for a while to come back, I kept saying know, eventually we establish communicaiton. She sounds sad at first, but as we kept talking on the phone she became extremely bold (I was her doormat) I put up with it. She was on thin ice.

 

Yada yada yada, I call her one day she tells me she needs space.

The next day she calls me but it was to late, I decieded to X her from my life. I X her. I go back for her one week later.

 

She tells me to **** off and we have no future.

this destroys me.

3 weeks later, I go mad, drive by her house.

 

She later states I am harassing her.

I was broken n destroyed for roughly 7 months.

 

I cam out the fog about 1 month ago.

 

 

There is more to the story but that's the jist of it.

have not heard from her since.

[CherishG]

wow B.O.T.....

that's like a mini speed version of a romance/drama novela... lol (no offense *hugz*)

NOW I know why you keep calling her "whore", when she uses that word so much to describe herself...

You're doing good so far... don't let this get u down now

[Geishawhelk]

Well, I'm wondering why you didn't stop all this when you noticed the first red flag.

I think you could tell there were issues there.

It could have been a matter of you NOT pressing your advantage, and instead suggesting she seek counselling, but it sounds to me as if you were more interested in having sex. She obviously had issues, you obviously realised this.

Why didn't you do something about it then?

[BackonTrack]

well there is more to the story, like when she left, i had about 65k in the bank saved up. I was going to do right by her. I was going to open up a office, she was suppose to help me (She never knew I ammased that much money) thats why I kept traveling...

 

Anyway, I ended up losing it all, I'm about to get evicted in about 2 weeks, n I lost the files for my business (3 years of work)

 

I was on pace to make about 300k this year, turn out I'll start the news years living in my car. but whatever. I'll rebuild. Can't say its her fault, but something happen in my life messed up for a while, let everything slip away. Didn't care about it, I just wanted her to come back but she never did.

 

So now I'm working like a slave, trying to rebuild, hopefully the landlord won't kick me out... Can't believe she hurt me like that... but whatever thats life, i'll recovering and that relationship only made stronger and smarter... to bad i wasn't smart enough to keep working though.. I did start smoking cigarettes heavily now though, about a pack a day for the last 7 months. Developed a cough as well... Not blaming her or anything, infact she told me to stop but whatever. She's gone now so whatever....

 

Life was different when I had a women in my life... I kind of just stopped everything and started staying to myself.. even messed up 3 rebound relationship and 3 possible future relationships.. couldn't think straight.. needed time alone but i already hit rock bottom, only place i have left to go is UP...

 

Funny, no one knows how DOWN I was, kept it hidden pretty well, except family ofcourse, even they don't know just how messed up I was.

[Peter_pan]

**** man, forget that bitch.

 

i could only wish my ex was horrible like that so my mind would rest at the thought of being with her